The children and I were in the car yesterday and the conversation naturally ended up on the subject of gender reassignment and sex realignment surgery.
I don’t know how I get into these discussions with my kids but I always do.
Anyway, we were talking about how you could get a penis put on (and no, I wasn’t sure if you could use it to pee, but I suspected the answer was yes. Doctors are pretty clever these days.) or how they could construct a vagina (A pagina? A pagina! said the incredulous girl who doesn’t believe vagina starts with a “v”.) and the real question was obvious.
Could one get a new butt?
So I said “Well, everyone already has a butt, so you don’t really need a new butt to become the opposite sex. I suppose you could get a butt in a different shape.”
“Like a triangle?” asked Claudia.
“That is the shape I was going to say!” Ian yelled.
“Calm down everyone,” I said. “No, not that kind of shape. You can’t have a triangle butt.”
Then after I stopped laughing I said. “You know, like rounder or flatter.”
“Like a circle butt?”
“I want mine to be shaped like a diamond!”
“How about a rhombus?”
They are learning about geometry in school.
Then because I am a masterful parent (and right after I explained that if your butt was triangle or diamond shaped the pointed corners would rip holes in your pants) I changed the subject to Harry Potter, because in my family the only thing that is more fascinating than butts is talk of house elves.
Did I mention that my son loves Harry Potter and all of the movies and he isn’t scared of Voldemort- he wasn’t even scared when the death eaters burned down the Burrow, or skeletons climbed up out of the water, but he is terrified of Dobby?
Ah, but that is a post for another day.
ps – If you look up vaginoplasty on wikipedia you get an eyeful. Feel free to take that as either a tip or a warning depending on your interests.
pps – I found the barbie butt picture on a website that discusses the body types of Jem dolls and how they differ depending on country. True story. Gripping or truly outrageous. Again, you be the judge.