Do your kids have bunk beds? If so, I am pretty mad at you right now.
WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HOW HARD THEY ARE TO PUT SHEETS ON?
About six months ago it became very apparent that The Goon Squad was getting too big for their toddler beds. If one stretches out they should not be able to touch the headboard with one’s head and the foot board with one’s feet. I have long children and they continue to grow. It was time to get regulation sized beds.
Being the egalitarian parent that I am, I asked them what kinds of beds they wanted for their big beds.
Eventually everyone agreed on bunk beds.
Now, before you ask, they each have their own rooms and yes, I know how expensive bunk beds are, but the grandparents got together and got each child a bunk bed for Christmas.
Yes! Two sets of bunk beds in my house. We now have the capacity to sleep ten – thirteen if you count all of the couches, fourteen if you are willing to sleep between Gabe and me.
These are serious pieces of furniture. They aren’t those reddish metal framed bunk beds that were super popular about 20 years ago, no. These are wooden behemoths. They take up 80 percent of each room and I’m pretty sure we can never move again.
Ian’s bunk bed had a desk and bookshelves built in. Claudia’s is a full sized bed on the bottom and a twin on top. Her bed doesn’t have a ladder. It has stairs and the stairs double as drawers. It is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
I can’t even get a good picture because there is nowhere in the room that I can stand and get the entire thing in the frame.
(Oh! I just figured out the reason I need a fisheye lens.)
Just picture this but with more wood and black bedding with pink skulls on it.
In a smaller and messier room. With a board blocking the front of the top because I bought pillow top mattresses not realizing it makes the child even with the top of the railing and therefore in constant danger of rolling over and falling five feet onto a pile of Barbies, Littlest Pet Shop and Polly Pockets.
And the bottom isn’t a cute daybed. It is a full sized mattress covered in stuffed animals.
Whatever. It is really, really hard to put sheets on the top OR the bottom and I spent far too long looking for a picture that resembles her bed to not put this one up there.
Seriously, I called the furniture store AND Trendwoods and this is the closest either of them could come. I think it would have been less of a hassle to go out, get a full time job, earn a few pay checks, go to the store, buy a fisheye lens, clean Claudia’s room, take some photos, upload them, find a good one, edit it and post it here.
Back to my issues. Why didn’t you people tell me how difficult it is to put sheets on a bunk bed? I think my children learned three new bad words as I attempted to change the sheets, and they still ended up looking like crap.
I will pay you $ 20 to come over and change my kids’ sheets because I am going to have a nervous breakdown and if I tell a therapist that I totally lost my shit because I physically could not change the sheets on a bunk bed they will laugh me out of the mental hospital.
The moral here. Bunk beds are cool, but they are evil – like cigarettes or pointy goatees. Only buy them if you have an Au Pair or an Alice. And for the love of God, don’t get them until your child is 100% night trained and promises to never vomit in their bed again.