My 20th high school reunion is this summer and I don’t think I will go.
I didn’t go to my 10 year reunion for financial reasons. We had just bought our first house and the tickets were $200 and the reunion was an hour away at the beach, even though my new house was less than 10 miles away from the high school.
This time I’m just not sure.
Now I live 1000 miles away.
I’d like to pretend that the distance is the reason I don’t think I will go, but the truth is that I could go and stay at my mom’s house for free. I mean, I would still have to travel to Florida, but we usually go down there once in the summer anyway and I am certain I could arrange that trip around the reunion.
Last time I convinced myself that it wasn’t a big deal because with very few exceptions I am still in touch with the people that I care about that graduated the same year and from the same school as I did.
I can see the rest of them on Facebook for free. I don’t even need to buy a dress.
If I don’t go I don’t have to drag my husband to a crappy party that he will loathe with a bunch of people he doesn’t know or care about.
If I don’t go they won’t have to see how much weight I have gained.
If I don’t go I won’t have to see the popular crowd that I was not a part of.
If I don’t go I don’t have to see my high school nemesis.
Ah, we reach the truth.
I got a Facebook invitation of some sort about the reunion and it was signed by my archenemy (my highschool archenemy, not my current one) and I don’t want to go if it is her party.
Yes, I am a petty, shallow person. I talk a lot about forgiveness around here and I think I have actually managed to forgive almost everyone who has wronged me.
I have forgiven the boyfriend she tried to steal from me, and that guy was a liar, a cheater and an all around dick. I have forgiven the ex-boyfriend who has a child that was born eight months after we broke up. I have forgiven my psycho ex-boss.
Wait – you can forgive somebody and still hate them, right?
I have not forgiven my high school nemesis and that is my deepest darkest reason for not wanting to go to my 20th high school reunion.
For a couple of days now I have been rolling this around in my mind and I think I have to forgive her. This isn’t about her – screw her – this is about me and my mental health and the fact that I have been carrying this poison around inside of me for 22 years now. So she tried to steal my boyfriend in 10th grade when I thought she was my friend. That makes her a shitty person, yes, but doesn’t holding this pointless grudge make me flawed as well?
So I will try to finally let it go if I can, totally betraying the promise I made to my 16 year old self (I vowed I would never forgive her.) and see if it helps me feel better.
I probably still won’t go to my reunion anyway.
My secret back up reason is apathy.