I Am Your Mother. I Have Proof.

For Mother’s Day my son made me card. It included this lovely acrostic which implies that I am a keeper.

It also implies that I let him watch "The Simpsons waaaaay too much.

This card also came with what I would call a coupon, but my son insists is a credit card, that gets me “one free set the table’.

Sweet, right?

When dinner time rolled around I called him inside from playing.

“Yes,” I said “I have a coupon here that entitles me to a free setting of the table. I would like to use this now.”

He smiles at me.

Then he says “Sure, can I see some I.D.?”

Normally I don’t mind getting I.D.ed at all. I generally it flattering or occasionally a good security measure, but in this case I was caught off guard.

“Um, I don’t have my wallet on me.”

“I can wait.” he said.

So I went back to my bedroom and got my wallet out of my purse. I brought my wallet in to the dining room where he was waiting patiently. I took my drivers license out of my wallet and handed it to my six year old son.

He studied the identification.

Then he looked at me.

“Okay.” he said, and then he started with the napkins.

* * *

How was your Mother’s Day?

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  1. LOL. Ian totally cracks me up. How does he think of these things?

  2. Ha, fantastic. Good thing you had your ID.

  3. One of mine came home with a card he made at school that says “My Mom is 21 years old.” Fuck yeah I am.

    It also says I’m 7 feet tall, but I’m focusing on the good parts.

  4. Ha!! I love it! My Mothers day consisted of cutting and nailing baseboards. Just what I wanted. :)

  5. At least he checks IDs. All these other places just let it slip by.

  6. smart aleck says:

    With a coupon that valuable you don’t want people stealing it! Did he make you surrender it or can you use it again?

    (Plus, lesson learned early…make your bosses jump through some hoops to get you to do stuff, just because you can. Haha)

  7. Ah. Other people’s kids crack me up. He sounds like a super genius in the making.

  8. What a character. My favorite parts are how “set the table” is used as a noun, and “must not be sold.”

    My stepdaughter has also been over-exposed to the Simpsons. When she was a small child, someone asked her if she was hungry, and she replied, “I’m so hungry I could eat a baby dear,” and then sang, “Who’s that little dear on the lawn.?”

  9. Oh how I love this age. It’s so entertaining. I need to see ID. He’s awesome.

  10. Delora says:

    Ha! That was brilliant. Will gave me a Mother’s Day coupon booklet a few years ago, and every time I tried to cash in, he refused to do what I asked of him. What a crock.

  11. My mother’s day was a lot like your average Tuesday. Only I got to dress up and sit in a restaurant whilst doing my usual mothering stuff for a portion of the afternoon. And I missed dessert. I’d rather have someone set the table.

  12. Don’t send him to my house, I don’t want him making me walk a straight line after 6. (oh who am I kidding, after 5)

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