Latest Shopping Theory

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  1. I always stop at the grocery store after work in my fancy work clothes. I never see anyone I know.

    Also I have this weird pet peeve about going out in public in pajama pants, I have no idea why.

  2. Christina says:

    This is so true. The worse I look, the more people I run into. EVERY STINKING TIME!!!

  3. I rarely see people I know when I leave the house. Though the other day, I did run into someone in the movie theater, who stepped past me in my row and said, “Hello, Karl.” Kinda freaked me out. Am I that recognizable in the dark?

    I was, however, wearing shorts and not pajama pants.

  4. I have a cute neighbor who I never see around the neighborhood, which is probably good for my marriage. So imagine my chagrin when I dash into Ralph’s for tampons wearing a too-tight t-shirt over bra-less boobs. Which would’ve been sexy in my 20s. But after nursing two kids and hanging on to about 20 lbs not so much.

    So I stand there chatting with him in the feminine protection aisle, holding a box of OB regular flow tampons trying the keep my breast up by crossing my arms underneath them. It was a day that will go down in infamy in my own tiny little tired brain.

  5. I can confirm your theory. After a day of running around with kids and hanging out at the pool all makeupless and ponytailed, I ran into a colleague at the grocery story. Fortunately she was quite gracious, but I’m sure she’ll remember the scene the next time I ask her for a recommendation!

  6. These are not musings. What you state are facts. It never fails, every time I make no effort I run into someone I’m glad to see but spend the entire encounter worrying that I look like I sleep in my car.

  7. Oh yeah. My wife has demonstrated to a high degree of precision that if she steps out the front door in her pyjamas it will bring all the neighbors out their front doors. Wait. How do you spell pajamas? Jammies. With … I dunno, Yodas’n'shit on’em! Anyway. SCIENCE.

  8. ABSOLUTELY TRUE. I was just telling the story of how I went out in horrible sweats and a horrible ski jacket to rent videos when I had a horrible cold and was trapped in the tiny store while my exBF and his wife and their cute new baby blocked the entrance and the whole town came in to admire the cute baby. Meanwhile, I squatted in my horrible outfit behind a rack of skate punk videos, praying no one saw me. Especially not the ex.

  9. smart aleck says:

    This theory is more like law—any time I leave the house without makeup because we are just going to walk around the city, we run into coworkers–who live in the burbs and just happen to be in the city.

    Also, any time my husband slaps my ass in public, or I kiss him sarcastically (I’ve decided to give him a big smooch every time he says something stupid in public because it looks cute versus overhearing me gripe at him), someone we know sees us.
    This is not a small town!!!!!

    (also, in one instance we were in a town an hour and a half from here–wtf?)

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