With the Lights Out It’s Less Dangerous

Claudia has decided what she wants to be for Halloween.

She is seven years old.

What on earth have I created?

I will take partial credit.

The Goon Squad’s birth announcement featured a picture of the twins wearing Misfit’s onesies.

Then there was this.

Then I praised her when she wanted these.

But none of those are sexy.

Maybe if the child in the photograph wasn’t wearing all that eyeliner and lipstick.

Or if she didn’t have a red fishnet midriff.

Then again, knowing my daughter, she probably just wants the boots.

I like giving my kids choices and I am the fool that handed them a catalog and said “pick whatever you want to be for Halloween” but this isn’t what I was expecting.

I’m feeling panicky about my daughter becoming a teenager. About her liking boys. About her *deep breath* dating. I don’t know if I am ready for all of that. I know she is only in second grade, but the first seven years went by so fast I know that I will blink and she will be fourteen and she will mean it. Maybe this is why parents get all weepy about back to school. Maybe it is because it is another sign that your baby is growing up and things are changing so fast.

But probably I should just shut up and be happy that she didn’t want to be the bloody nurse.

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  1. I like it — kind of funky and fun. Everything is covered. Maybe if you nix the makeup you’ll feel better. And the boots do rock.

    At least she doesn’t want to be a Disney princess — though some have the hideous pink skirts, 7-year-olds just shouldn’t be wearing shell bras or sheer harem pants. Priorities. Good luck.

  2. I’ve seen SO much worse. Ditch the makeup and it’s within reason, really. I would probably also include a tank or something to take of of the whole “fishnet midriff” thing.

  3. It looks a lot like a zombified version of one of the cheerleaders from Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit video…without the anarchy symbol, so you know, it’s not quite perfect.

  4. Yes. Count your blessings. My kids want to go “dark” this year two. I was hoping for a few more years of the cute costumes…or at least a year or two of superheroes…but no…I’ll have a 4YO Zombie on Oct. 31. If i can’t get him to eat carrots, at least I can get him to eat brains. Less fiber, more protein.

  5. Eh that ones not as bad as some others. Make her wear a long sleeved black shirt underneath. Covers her up…and it should be cool enough by then right?

    I think at seven they see differently than we do. She doesn’t see the sexy part. She sees the skulls and boots and cool skirt.

  6. Okay, I saw the top and the pom poms and went immediately to “Buccaneers cheerleader.”

    Maybe not.

  7. Still say if you put something black under that (really sort of ugly, sorry Claudia) red mesh nonsense it’s fine. Also I think it’s the makeup and that weirdo expression on that girl’s face that make it seem more inappropriate.

    But I have to say one old-person thing, and that’s that while choices are one thing, and it’s nice that you give them so many, I’m kind of glad looking back that my mom told me no sometimes. It’s one of the many unglamorous tasks here, but it’s unfortunately one of the most important. I wanted some really stupid things. Still do.

    (I’d be scared as hell to have a teenager, frankly. But she will be just fine and so will you. The boys on the other hand? Screwed.)

  8. It looks like the outfit from the Glee episode where they did the Thriller/Heads Will Roll mash-up…

    I agree, adding a black tank/long-sleeved shirt underneath will make a world of difference.

  9. okay that’s it. i am making your kid a present.

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