My minivan has a poltergeist or possibly an electrical problem but either way I am freaking out.
I was at the grocery store (as I tend to be) and when I tried to get out of the car it was locked. That in itself is no big deal. I’ve also tried to get out of the car with my seatbelt on. I know how to fix the problem, one just unlocks the door to exit. Except in this case the door locked again before I had a chance to open it.
Then it locked on me again. And again.
A ha! I thought to myself. I must be mashing the lock button on my key fob. But I wasn’t. My keys were hanging off of one finger, no buttons were touching anything.
So I tried to manually unlock the car as if it were the ’90s.
But my car locked itself again.
It couldn’t be the safety feature that won’t let you lock your keys in the car because 1) I’ve already done that in this car and 2) I had already established that the keys we no longer in the ignition.
And this is when I began to suspect the supernatural or possibly Ashton Kutcher.
But as much as I hate all practical jokes and Punk’d in particular, this one was too stupid too make it through even the least rigorous screening process. Plus I’ve never been in a boy band.
So this left me with two options – a poltergeist or an electrical problem.
On one hand this could cost me a lot of money. On the other hand my car might be haunted*. I don’t like either of these options.
What I do like though is that I think I finally have an excuse to call in to Car Talk.
* * *
Ghosts are REAL, Mike. Ghosts are real.
* * *
Remind me sometime to tell you why White thinks it might be the ghost of former United Nations Secretary-General Dag Hammarskjöld.