The Halloween Debacle – Part 2

To get the whole story you have to first read “The Halloween Debacle – Part 1.”

* * *

When I left the parade I was really hoping that Claudia would find her costume on the school bus on the ride home, but when she came off of the bus empty handed I knew we were in trouble.

I started walking over so that I could ask the bus driver if he had found a black cheerleader uniform with a skull on it.

That is when Ian got off of the bus. Sobbing.

When a little girl gets off of the bus crying it is usually drama. When a boy gets off of the bus crying it is usually an injury.

But he was crying about his costume ripping and custodians and lost and found and the school being locked. It was clear that I would be buying two new costumes that evening. I told the boy that everything would be okay and I wasn’t mad and I would address his issue right after I talked to the bus driver.

Claudia’s costume wasn’t on the bus either. Even four days later it would seem that the costume has been sucked into the ether, probably the same place that has claimed single socks, guitar picks and hair ties since the beginning of time.

And this is how I found myself driving to the party store in rush hour DC traffic on the Friday afternoon before Halloween.

I didn’t want to go to the stupid party store on October 28th at 4:30 in the afternoon. I thought I knew what awaited me if I ever made it to Party City before it closed. I figured it would be crowded and picked over.

I threatened the children in the car. You will take what we can find. We might not find the exact same costume. It will be crowded. You have to stay with me.

This was met with crying and whining. Which was in turn met with me losing my shit. There will be no whining and no crying from this moment forward. Is this what you think I want to do with my Friday evening? Go to the party store where I can spend MORE money on costumes that I neither lost nor ruined? I am trying to fix your problems!

Then I actually turned around in my seat like Dads do on tv shows from the ’70s. AND IF THERE IS ANY MORE CRYING BEFORE WE GET HOME NOBODY IS GOING TO GO TRICK OR TREATING SO YOU WON’T NEED COSTUMES ANYWAY.

It was pretty quiet the rest of the 38 minutes it took to drive like six miles.

I underestimated the chaos of the party store.

Fortunately, I also underestimated my children who were able to make fast decisions under duress and we got out of there in less that 15 minutes with girly pirate costume and a red ninja costume.

Halloween was saved.

I am sick of writing about Halloween costumes so I won’t even get in to how we had a party to go to on Saturday night and I wouldn’t let them dress in the new costumes for obvious reasons until Monday night and there were new levels of teen angst and drama reached by a 7 year old girl who wouldn’t wear a sweater because it looked better on the model on the website.

*deep breaths*

Nor will I go into depth about how much she enjoyed it when the costume she finally agreed to involved heavy eyeshadow, lipstick and teasing her hair.

What I do want to say is this – no matter what you think, your mother probably went WAY out of her way to make your life a better place and if she is still around you should call her right now and thank her. (Thanks Mom!) I know for a fact that my mom did all sorts of crazy things for me and I probably yelled at her a bunch while she was doing things to help make my life slightly better. I accept this as my payback. I just really, really hope that it isn’t just payback for second grade and that my recent parenting heroics (if you think it was bad parenting, just don’t tell me unless you want to drive me to the mental hospital)  make up for that whole teenage mess too.

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  1. Last paragraph = GENIUS.
    I had no idea how awesome my mom is until I had kids. She mostly single parented 3 kids while working full time and I can pretty much never give her crap again for anything she did.

    She also sewed ALL of our Halloween costumes and they were epic.

  2. You are such a good mom! I recently called my parents to apologize for my behavior as a child. I find myself ready to yank my sons hair out for doing the same things I used to do.

    P.S. My son wore that same Ninja costume. Weren’t those effin ties a complete pain in the A-S-S.

  3. You are an AWESOME mom…make sure and show them this story when they have second graders who are trying to drive them to the brink of madness.

  4. That last paragraph was even awesomer than the paragraphs that preceded it. Like that’s possible. But it is! A Halloween miracle!

  5. Halloween was saved. Oh dear God Sarah, I can’t imagine anything worse that the party story on the Friday before Halloween weekend. Oh my god.

    YOU ARE LEGEND.

  6. Holy Toledo. If I ever have kids, I’m afraid that I’ll desperately want to punch myself in the face for having kids every day up until they become teenagers, at which time the face punching will happen constantly. I’m afraid of the sanity vacuum of having kids, is what I’m saying.

  7. smart aleck says:

    You are in incredible mom. Thank god they didn’t cancel Halloween in your town like some places had to–I can’t imagine that poor mom who went through costume drama then found out there would be no trick or treating after all. That would be an Occupy Mayor’s Office moment.

    You also reminded me that it’s been awhile since I’ve sent my parents flowers for my birthday. Yes, you read that right–I thank THEM for bringing me into this world….and letting me stay here.

    Off to order them right now.

  8. smart aleck says:

    *an incredible
    Oy.

  9. That had to SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

    I was dealing with tears because my kid had a costume, but Halloween was cancelled because of a lack of power and 50 billion tons of downed tree limbs.

  10. 1. Those are much cooler than their original costumes.

    (No offense, original costumes, but as you are either lost or ruined, you have no grounds for complaint.)

    2. Boots (both pairs) = EPIC.

    3. You dressed a child like a pirate and never once mentioned the Tampa Bay football team.

    4. May all debacles end this well, for all time (Costume Store on Halloween weekend notwithstanding).

    5. You rock.

  11. You’re a better mom than I am. I didn’t do any of that shit and when it came time for trick or treating I just told them to get some kind of mask. They wore regular clothes. Halloween FAIL.

  12. I just read both posts and am exhausted.

    What the hell is up with kids and Halloween costumes? My daughter is THE WORST because she wants to come up with an amazing costume and then has zero ability to execute, so there is all sorts of GRRR ARRRGGG SWEARS during October. I thought it would be over now that she’s in 9th grade, but no. I had to priority ship a couple of dress options to her so that she’d get them in time for her school’s big Halloween mixer.

    WTF. I should have told her to wear a bag.

  13. I echo the love for that last paragraph. My mom handmade me awesome costumes for Halloween every year. When I was too old for that, she made me amazing, original prom dresses. But yeah, you have NO BLOODY IDEA what all your parents did for you until you are a parent yourself. Now you know the lengths you will go to in order to make your kids happy. Good work, lady. I hope you had a drink (or several) after that.

  14. Molly Chase says:

    My mother, who went trick-or-treating with my kids, my husband, and I this year, apologized (twice) Monday night for being such a total lameass of a mother and not giving a damn about Halloween at any point throughout my childhood. She admitted that it was really a lot of fun. But she never went with me trick-or-treating past about second grade, and she was totally fine with whatever costume I could find lying around the garage. So basically, you are awesome at Halloween, and my mother sucked, and I am sort of average.

  15. *stands up*

    *applauds*

    You are a great mom and a total trooper. Oh, and a stronger woman than me. :)

  16. *Much better costumes, yes. I can’t believe I haven’t seen Lumpyhead’s mom in way too long, because you know, she always knocks it out of the park.

    *I have a post going in my head about my mom that reflects exactly what you said in that last paragraph.

    *I’m so, so sorry. I’m glad it turned out okay, but it sounds like such a nightmare and really, who needs more stress than less? I’m going with “not you.”

    That said, your extra mile is always more impressive than you think. They are lucky, lucky kids.

  17. Wow. You are the best mom ever.

    I totally would have given them a couple cardboard boxes, some tin foil and duct tape.

    You’re way nicer.

  18. Just to make it clear – my mom is a WAY better mom than I am. She sewed our costumes from scratch every year.

  19. Told you not to let your daughter do that cheerleader costume. Karma.

    I should post about my Halloween drama, but won’t. it’s just as bad.

  20. Gotta say that I like the second round of costumes much better.

    When C is 16, you will mysteriously find that 1st costume in the same place stray socks go. By then she will either be completely embarrassed by it, or she will be totally goth wish she could still fit into it.

  21. I still can’t believe you didn’t lose your mind when she was flipping out in the car during Part One. You are a better woman than I am!

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