To get the whole story you have to first read “The Halloween Debacle – Part 1.”
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When I left the parade I was really hoping that Claudia would find her costume on the school bus on the ride home, but when she came off of the bus empty handed I knew we were in trouble.
I started walking over so that I could ask the bus driver if he had found a black cheerleader uniform with a skull on it.
That is when Ian got off of the bus. Sobbing.
When a little girl gets off of the bus crying it is usually drama. When a boy gets off of the bus crying it is usually an injury.
But he was crying about his costume ripping and custodians and lost and found and the school being locked. It was clear that I would be buying two new costumes that evening. I told the boy that everything would be okay and I wasn’t mad and I would address his issue right after I talked to the bus driver.
Claudia’s costume wasn’t on the bus either. Even four days later it would seem that the costume has been sucked into the ether, probably the same place that has claimed single socks, guitar picks and hair ties since the beginning of time.
And this is how I found myself driving to the party store in rush hour DC traffic on the Friday afternoon before Halloween.
I didn’t want to go to the stupid party store on October 28th at 4:30 in the afternoon. I thought I knew what awaited me if I ever made it to Party City before it closed. I figured it would be crowded and picked over.
I threatened the children in the car. You will take what we can find. We might not find the exact same costume. It will be crowded. You have to stay with me.
This was met with crying and whining. Which was in turn met with me losing my shit. There will be no whining and no crying from this moment forward. Is this what you think I want to do with my Friday evening? Go to the party store where I can spend MORE money on costumes that I neither lost nor ruined? I am trying to fix your problems!
Then I actually turned around in my seat like Dads do on tv shows from the ’70s. AND IF THERE IS ANY MORE CRYING BEFORE WE GET HOME NOBODY IS GOING TO GO TRICK OR TREATING SO YOU WON’T NEED COSTUMES ANYWAY.
It was pretty quiet the rest of the 38 minutes it took to drive like six miles.
I underestimated the chaos of the party store.
Fortunately, I also underestimated my children who were able to make fast decisions under duress and we got out of there in less that 15 minutes with girly pirate costume and a red ninja costume.
Halloween was saved.
I am sick of writing about Halloween costumes so I won’t even get in to how we had a party to go to on Saturday night and I wouldn’t let them dress in the new costumes for obvious reasons until Monday night and there were new levels of teen angst and drama reached by a 7 year old girl who wouldn’t wear a sweater because it looked better on the model on the website.
Nor will I go into depth about how much she enjoyed it when the costume she finally agreed to involved heavy eyeshadow, lipstick and teasing her hair.
What I do want to say is this – no matter what you think, your mother probably went WAY out of her way to make your life a better place and if she is still around you should call her right now and thank her. (Thanks Mom!) I know for a fact that my mom did all sorts of crazy things for me and I probably yelled at her a bunch while she was doing things to help make my life slightly better. I accept this as my payback. I just really, really hope that it isn’t just payback for second grade and that my recent parenting heroics (if you think it was bad parenting, just don’t tell me unless you want to drive me to the mental hospital) make up for that whole teenage mess too.