What Color are Your Nipples?

I yell out from the shower “Hey! What color would you say my nipples are?”

He comes to the bathroom door. “Why do you ask?”

“Because somebody asked me last night.”


“I don’t know.”

“Well, who asked you.”

“Some of the ladies at the party.”

“Why did they want to know?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

“When somebody asks you what color your nipples are your first question should be ‘Why do you ask?’.”

“You are probably right.”

“What kind of party was this?”

I think I need a color wheel or some paint samples.

* * *

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  1. I have no words.

    I’m laughing rather loudly alone in my office, though.

  2. Yeah, I’m sure the guy at the paint counter would be happy to match that for you…

  3. I agree with Gabe (at least I assume that’s who it is you’re talking to in this scenario). The first question should be “Why?” The second question should be if they meant specifically the nipple or the areola.

  4. My first thought was lifting up my shirt…

    I’m going to go with somewhere between “burnt tile” and “cranberry whip.”

  5. I’m gonna go with Cream Rose.

  6. Went right on down my shirt and compared my nipple to the chart. I came up with ‘Pink eraser’ well now I’ve got that answered, thankyouverymuch!

    JCat McGack
    (formerly Queen of Feisty of Spaghetti and Bagels blog)

  7. smart aleck says:

    My favorite part of this ENTIRE post is that you named the color charts “possible nipple colors”.

    And, asking a straight guy will not get you the answer. It will, however, get you the exact diameter within a half millimeter, with multiple answers according to the temperature of the room.
    You have to ask a gay guy to get the answer (not meant to be offensive, they just know gradations of colors and all the many names assigned to them).

  8. Strawberry Rose – which is perfect as my name means “wild rose.” Thanks for asking – and I don’t really care why! (Although when I was nursing my babies they were much darker, more of a Cranberry Whip)

  9. smart aleck says:

    Dang it–according to this:
    2012’s color of the year is NOT a nipple color!
    (unless you have some weird, sickly, radioactive alien nipples)

  10. I actually looked but I’m not telling.

  11. I seriously just had to stop myself from looking down my shirt to compare to the color chart.

    Did you ever figure out an answer?

  12. I actually enlarged the color chart to get a better look for comparison purposes. I don’t know if I should be proud or ashamed.

  13. Darn you for making me look, anyways.

  14. I think my nipples are aubergine. Recently I was concerned with the size of my clitoris based on its subpar performance. I never leave links to my stories, but I suspect this one might dove tail with your nipple melange.,


  15. Today? Cadet Blue.


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