The Things that Come Out of My Mouth

When I told somebody that my notary was in Aruba I thought it was probably the most ridiculous sentence that had ever come out of my mouth.

It was true (if by my notary you mean my friend who I just found out was a notary, but he lives really close to me and he will be back in three days) it just sounds really uppity.

So I am thinking, well at least I won’t say anything that sounds weirder than that for a while.

But no.

Because when a restaurant I have been trying to get into for – well, forever – called me and said they had a cancellation tomorrow night at 9:30 I said “My babysitters are in Burma.”

My babysitters are in Burma.

Oh, I said it.

It sounds like a lie for so many reasons. One, who goes to Burma? Two, who has more than one babysitter in Burma at one time? Three, can’t you get another babysitter?

Well, yeah, but not one that wants to hang out my house until one o’clock in the morning. I have training babysitters for when the grandparents go out of town but they are really young and I feel like a jerk staying out too late.

I can’t wait to hear what I say next. I wonder if my accountant is out of town?

* * *

That title sounds filthy! Who lets me choose my own headlines?

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  1. My sis used to have her phone listed under Eddgar Molehill (because she refused to pay to have her phone unlisted). Whenever anyone called for Eddgar, he was in Europe. Either that, or he wasn’t allowed to talk on the phone on the advice of his attorneys.

  2. Parents say the darndest things

  3. After reading this and Suebob’s comment, I’ve decided that you two are my favorites. The End.

  4. sueinithaca says:

    Suebob, your sister is a genius! Sarah, are your babysitters from Ithaca? Because people from Ithaca go to places like Burma all.the.time. Even if they barely have enough cash to get the place ticket.

  5. smart aleck says:

    First of all, the word headline can be construed as dirty. Second, it is more about what is going in, not out of your mouth (or both). Third, now I want to travel somewhere quirky!

  6. I think you just completely alienated your followers among the Burmese junta by not calling it Myanmar. I smell a scandal!

  7. I thought it was supposed to be Myanmar, but since the babysitters kept calling it Burma I figured they knew something I didn’t.

  8. If it makes you feel any better, my cleaning lady is currently in South Africa.

  9. Damn. My babysitters only go to the mall.

  10. I’ve got a new one!

    “My trainer is kicking my ass in Scrabble.”

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