If you were a fox wouldn’t you want to be as far away from an elementary school bus stop as possible? Please understand that I am talking about the actual animal, not an attractive person from the ’80s, although in either case the sentence still works.
Archives for April 2012
I was so excited when my copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened arrived in the mail. I was psyched because I had preordered it eons ago and people that bought the paper version of the book got theirs earlier. I ordered the audio book because 1) How cool is it that Jenny got to […]
“… So I am sitting there, in a pew, and weeping for reasons I cannot explain. I don’t feel sad at all. Can something make you cry just by being too cute? Are these pride induced tears? Is the guy behind me cutting an onion? I am just sitting there pretending that I haven’t finally snapped […]
In 2003 my friends had a baby. It was their first. Having no children of my own at the time I asked the new father what being a parent was like. He said “It is the best and the hardest job I have ever had.” At the time I thought it was cute and also […]
Yesterday I got an apology that was 22 years overdue. Sort of out of nowhere (sort of not, Facebook and old pictures stir up dusty old memories that we’ve worked so hard to suppress) a guy that dicked me over in 10th grade sent me an apology. A boy that cheated on me in 1989 […]
Three Embarrassing Things That I Am Telling You For No Reason 1) One time I thought I peed the bed, but really my cat had poked some holes in my waterbed with his claws and that is why my underthings were all wet.