The Late Apology

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  1. Wow.

    That’s… awesome. And to think he had that sense of guilt lingering inside of him for that long… above and beyond the strange feeling of recognition and gratitude you experienced with his apology (which you rendered wonderfully here), I can’t imagine the sense of deep relief he must have felt at your response.

    Great story.

  2. first – doing the math you present here, you were 18 in 10th grade?

    second – this is part of the reason why I turned my back on all of high school. It was a mistake for me to go to my 10 year reunion, and I haven’t looked back since (despite being in the same city still). Then again, I didn’t have a good school life. I’m not typical.

    Third – I hope you’re going to use this as a lesson for your kids, in that it is never to late to own up to your mistakes and apologize.

  3. I was 16 and 17 in 10th grade. So it was 23 years ago?

  4. I failed math in high school. Literally. Maybe let’s just ignore that section of my comment.

  5. smart aleck says:

    Nice to get those words, no matter when. I stay off of facebook because of the addiction risk and because some people just belong in my past. Particularly my first boyfriend, who broke up with me at almost the same second he started dating another girl. I was in classes and activities with both, which made it kind of hellish..especially when he would go on to someone about how smart she was.
    Pretty is in the eye of the beholder, but smart is right there in cold hard numbers…and several years later, in the form of the valedictorian who is addressing your class (and yes, they were still dating then).

    Wow…I just realized who gave me my I am smart but not brilliant complex.

    On the other hand, I have strong suspicions she was also anorexic, a hell I would not wish on anyone, plus he had mommy issues. So I won that one in the long run.

    How much do I owe you for the therapy session?

  6. smart aleck says:

    Makes you wonder if there is anyone out there whose feelings were hurt by an action or inaction of your own doing…

  7. MauraLessa says:

    In 2010 I reconnected on FB with an ex I broke up with in 2002. I apologized for the way I left it. I was 22, we had dated 3 years, and the relationship had been over in my mind for a while, but I still just… left. I felt bad about it. His parents were really good to me and had a very positive influence on my life.

    Anyway, I apologized in 2010. He was married with a baby and probably hadn’t thought about that breakup in years, but I needed to apologize. He was kind. I felt so much better after. Your ex beau probably felt the same.

    You’re right. It is never too late for an apology.

  8. Facebook IS weird. It’s not normal for people from our Geeky and Awkward years to suddenly show up and intrude on our lives.
    But this does feel like an exception. That’s pretty cool that he wrote you that message. Stuff like this makes us realize how much we carry around from the teenager chapters of our lives.

  9. I waffle back and fourth on the whole facebook is evil things. One of my best friends I reconnected with via facebook and of course their is tons of drama and seeing things/people that do stir of memories better left forgotten. I know I have made a few apologize through facebook. Not for a cheating. I am and have been a lot of things, but never a cheater.

  10. I love this. Also, can you contact the guy who dumped me just before Junior Prom? I’d like an apology from him, please.

  11. I’m friended with a couple exes on FB. My first college boyfriend cheated on me – I’m friends with him . It’s water under the bridge. My second college boyfriend also cheated on me – WITH THE SAME GIRL as 1st boyfriend. I’m not friends with him on FB, but hold no ill will. We hadn’t been dating long when it happened, and I wasn’t really into the relationship as it was. My pride was stung, but not my heart. One of my best male friends MARRIED THE GIRL that 1st and 2nd cheated on me with – I’m friends with him on FB, too. Again, no ill will whatsoever. It was over 20 years ago. I’m married with kids. There’s no sense in holding 20 year old grudges against former boyfriends.

    My concern is more for old crushes that people friend on FB. I’m friended with a couple guys I had crushes on but never dated. Do I still crush on them? Nah – I’m different, they are different. We wouldn’t have worked then and we certainly wouldn’t work now. We’re better off as friends. But I can’t help but think about the many MANY relationships on FB that shouldn’t be reignited – and this scenario is the one that bothers me more than any ex re-entering the picture would.

  12. I love this story! I doubt I’ll ever get my due apologies, but I can imagine your satisfaction.

  13. It’s amazing what we carry around with us 20+ years after the fact. There are a few people I wouldn’t mind having an adult (non-fraught) friendship with.

    And then there’s my HS nemesis who keeps popping up in the “people you might know” on FB, because she’s FB friends with ALL my firends from HS.

    I’m certain there will be no apology issued from those quarters.

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