If you were a fox wouldn’t you want to be as far away from an elementary school bus stop as possible?
Please understand that I am talking about the actual animal, not an attractive person from the ’80s, although in either case the sentence still works.
I ask because we have this neighborhood fox that gets keeps getting braver. He was no more than sixty feet away from the bus stop this morning. It seemed like an odd choice for a feral animal. He isn’t afraid of people and that makes me nervous. I don’t think he is rabid. I don’t think he is stealing chickens (mostly because I don’t think there is any livestock in my neighborhood) and I don’t think he has attacked any people yet. As far as I can tell he just roams around eating dog food, but still I don’t want him around my kids.
He is a wild animal. People should frighten him. I don’t know why they don’t.
One time I was outside talking to my neighbor and he started walking right between our houses. I yelled at him “Go away, fox!” because I am a writer and I know a lot of words. I yelled at him and he looked me dead in the eye and squatted down like he was going to poop in my side yard.
I was all “Oh no you don’t!” and I started walking toward him.
The mystery here is what I would have actually done if he kept pooping. I don’t know how to fight foxes. I’m scrappy, but not that scrappy. Plus, I would feel like a real jerk for punching an animal. He is way smaller than I am. Looking back, I wonder if my neighbor would have jumped in. I bet she would have. I mean, if she is willing to let me borrow a white dress for Mom 2.0 knowing that I spill everything she must have my back.
Luckily, he ran away and I didn’t have to prove anything.
Aside: Remember when I said we didn’t have any livestock in my neighborhood? One time these kids from around the corner told my kids that they got a bunch of chicks for Easter and that they accidentally all got loose in the neighbor’s yard. There were seven children and two adults out looking for these chicks for 45 minutes. I felt sick. I knew that the fox or an owl or some other predator was going to eat those poor baby chicks. I worried about them for about a week before I decided to block that memory until Tuesday when my children told me that those same two children got a horse and were keeping it in their back yard. “That is impossible.” I said “They live on a quarter of an acre and I am pretty sure it is against our homeowners policy to have a horse in this neighborhood.” “But Sophia said that she had a horse at her dad’s house!” “Are you sure she is telling the truth?” I asked suddenly remember in the chicks I asked the kids “Do you think they really even had those chicks?” and Claudia said “No, they saw it on an episode of iCarly. I think the incubator was just a lunchables box.” Then I felt really stupid for worrying about the imaginary chickens.
What would you do? I have already talked to my kids about staying away from the fox, they know that if he comes around they are just supposed to walk away. If I see him eating my neighbor dog’s food I open my window and yell at him (It might be on to me now and know I won’t fight it). Do I call animal control? I don’t want him to die, I just want him to go live somewhere else. I have seen him four times in the last three days. That is too much. He is far to comfortable with people for a undomesticated animal. What should I do?