How I Accidentally Scared My Kids, Again

We rented our first storage unit back in June.

I have no idea how I made it to 39 years old without ever needing a storage unit, but somehow I did. My best guess is that my drummer’s mom let us practice in her garage and I never moved back in with my parents.

Of course, right now I am living with my in-laws so the second half of that last statement is sort of invalid. Then again, I needed a storage unit so maybe I am extra-validated. It is sort of hard to say.

So anyway, I rented a storage unit so that we could put 80% of what we own in it while we are renovating the house.

One day I took the kids with me to take a few boxes over to our storage unit. They were excited to help out and they were exited to see the unit. “This is just like Storage Wars!” my son exclaimed.

“It really is!'” I said. “If we don’t pay our rent for three months they will auction this one off too. I bet Barry would be all over our unit. He would probably really like the mask Uncle Mike gave us from Haiti.”

We loaded everything from the van into our storage space and locked it up. As we drove away the kids were quiet.

Two eight year olds are never quiet.

“What’s wrong guys?” I asked.

“Mom? Do you think we can bid on our own stuff?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You know, so that Barry doesn’t get our stuff. Or Dave.”

“Oh guys,” I said. “They aren’t really going to auction off our things.

“How do you know?”

“Because we pay our bills. They only auction off your storage unit if you don’t pay your bill for several months in a row. I have already paid for two months and I fully intend on paying on time every single month.”

“Oh! Okay. I was worried that Barry was going to get my DS.”

I thought I was being funny. The idea of Darrell tying to figure out if the copy of the Tampa Tribune the day after the Bucs won the Super Bowl was worth anything yet makes me laugh. I know the couch is worth something because we just bought it. Ooooh! I wonder what they could get for my still in the shrink wrap “Open Up and Say Aah” Poison album with the original cover?

This is not good art.

Probably not much.

I will pay the bill every month and I will even show the kids the receipts for proof.

Still, we drive by every once in a while just to make sure.





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  1. smart aleck says:

    I have a storage unit also–it’s been longer than I planned originally, but it’s cost me $45 – $65 a month instead of $500-$100/month more in living expenses, so it’s been worth it. Or so I say until I open that sucker back up and realize we were paying to store stuff I should have just donated at the time.

    It is CRAMMED full…I actually laugh when I see them open those units and see how little is really in most of them.

    Not sure who would win our bid–we have furniture, we have some collectibles, we have clothes….I can see it being a full on war if they did fight over it.

  2. I do not know any Uncle Bob…and frankly, I think Pete’s offended.

  3. We had a storage unit for YEARS. When we finally bought a house and could collect our stuff, I couldn’t believe how much useless junk we were keeping in it. Which we now continue to keep in closets….

  4. I never had a storage unit, unless you count my parents basement. But since dad sold the house, I think I might have to do it some day in the not to distance future, Either that or give/sell a bunch of clutter.

  5. I opt to use the garage for storage. After all, who needs to park cars in there anyway?

  6. Barry would totally handle that Tampa Tribune in his skeleton gloves. He’s the only reason I can watch that show.

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