You Heard the Man

It was one of those days where both kids were home with strep throat but the antibiotics had already begun to kick in and everybody was feeling okayish but we couldn’t really go anywhere so instead the children and I were watching a BBC Best of Doctor Who Monsters show. It was in the style of a VH1 I Love the Whatever show where a bunch of C and D List celebrities sit around talk about the 80s or the 25 best slow jams of 1987 or what have you.

In this case we had Doctor Who monsters.

This was kind of a weird show because 1) very few of the celebrities were either British or anyone I had heard of and 2) they were only discussing the villains from season six which is nuts because this show has been on since 1963.

It was also odd that the only celebrities I was really familiar with were former NFL player, Hugh Douglas and Scott Ian from Anthrax.

My favorite Doctor Who monster. THE MASTER.

Aside: I have this theory about Scott Ian and Henry Rollins. I think they live across the street from the VH1 studios. I have this image in my head of them sitting in Scott’s apartment playing XBOX and VH1 producer calls about once a week and is like “Hey! We’re filming ‘I Love Three Hit Wonders’ are you guys in?” and then they wait until Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black to come pick them up.

This is a lot of exposition for a very short story. This one guy, I don’t remember his name but he is labeled as an actor comedian. I don’t know anything about his acting portfolio but I can assure you that his jokes about Daleks and weeping angels are not funny.  Anyway, this guy is talking about creepy little kids in movies really freaking him out and he turns to the camera and says “So to all of you creepy little kids out there – STOP BEING CREEPY.”

Without missing a beat, my son turns to his sister and says “You heard the man, Claudia. Stop it.”

I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I was that proud of someone for totally burning their sibling.


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  1. THAT was funny. I actually laughed out loud. Not chuckled. Laughed.

    And as for The Master, how familiar with the older versions of The Master? Robert Delgado and Anthony Ainley in the 70s and 80s? He is my second favorite Doctor Who villain behind the Cybermen.

  2. Alison says:

    If there is a house across the street from VH1 studios, surely Michael Ian Black lives there too with Henry and Scott . He might even be the actor/comedian you’re talking about. Woah, and if he is, this post mentions 3 different Ians. That’s just strange. Tell your Ian I said he has great timing.

  3. Scott Ian’s birthday is an epochal day in rock and roll. A) Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir met for the first time on this day B) while I was being born about 250 yards away. Maybe Scott, too, if he’s my long lost twin. \m/ \m/

  4. All I can think is “What is the gas mask for?” (eye roll) “Because of the gas!”

  5. As with Daniel, I actually cackled at this.

    Your kids inspire me. 😀

  6. smart aleck says:

    .You should be proud–timing like that is in the genetics; it simply can’t be taught.

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