Because I Am No Longer Capable of Writing in More Than 140 Characters

Balance Rewards, My Friends

I am not going to lie, I am a little bit weird about drug stores. No joke. I like walking around in drug stores. I like looking at the nail polish colors. I like browsing the shampoo aisle. I like the bizarre stuff that always shows up in the holiday aisle. I like drug stores. [...]

You Are Welcome Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

What do you get when you mix my favorite Christmas Carol,  $ .89, a wizard and a metal guitar?   Little Drummer Boy – Christopher Lee Oh, hells yes. Actually, I recommend you spend the $1.78 and get the “Silent Night” too. I did. My decision was a sound one. My only regret is that [...]

Funny, I Don’t Feel 40

I turned forty yesterday. 40. FORTY. It is weird. I don’t feel forty years old. I’m not even sure I feel thirty. Most of the time I feel 20, except for the fact that I suspect I am only weeks away from needing bifocals. I still think it is funny when I am allowed to [...]

Not So Sure About Those Christmas Carols

I woke up with Walking in a Winter Wonderland stuck in my head. Woke up with Walking in a Winter Wonderland. Say THAT three times fast. Anyway, I woke up to this. In the meadow we can build a snowman Then pretend that he’s a circus clown. She’ll say “Are you married?” We’ll say “No, [...]

Preteen Angst

My daughter asks me the same question every single day. “Why do you hate me?” And every single day I give her the same answer. “I don’t hate you. I love you.” To which she generally replies “No you don’t. You hate me.” and this goes on for a while. This outburst is usually prompted [...]

5 Totally Unrelated Things I Have Learned This Month

1) Mick Jagger wrote the song “Tumbling Dice” after talking to a housekeeper about her gambling habit. 2) The piece of metal that you use to transition from a wood flor to a tile floor is called a Schluter. 3) Pinterest makes so much more sense if you watch Doctor Who.

Someday They Will Tell Their Therapists This Story

I walked into the room in the middle of “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”. Now, I am not entirely sure this movie is age appropriate for eight year olds, but there they were watching it. “Who is that guy, Mom?” “I don’t know.” I said. “I’ve never seen this movie.” “But who is he supposed [...]

There is Change

Just when I think I can’t take it anymore. Just when I think – this was the wrong decision. We should have moved. Remodeling is going to kill us. Just when I think I haven’t had an air conditioner since June and now I need heat and I don’t have that either. Just when I [...]

Yesterday

Yesterday was such strange day. Within seconds of Teddy Roosevelt finally winning a president’s race I lost one of my jobs. Sunrise. Sunset. I have no idea why I had so much emotional energy invested in a fake race that is run by people dressed up as dead presidents after the fourth inning of National’s [...]

Playing Hooky

Education was always a big deal in my family. My parents rarely took us out of school for vacations and we didn’t take sick days unless we were really sick – or, I suppose, if we could convince my mom we were really sick. That is the kind of parenting skill you learn by example. [...]

Don’t Worry, I Didn’t Write That One

I am not sure why, but I want to give you guys an idea of how my creative process works, or really, in this case, how my creative process doesn’t work. I am painfully aware that I haven’t written anything here in a week and so I was brainstorming in my favorite think tank – [...]