Archive for the 'BlogHer' Category
There are actually two kinds of BlogHer hangovers. The kind of hangover I wrote about two weeks ago and the kind where you run out of words. Usually when I come home from BlogHer I find that I have mysteriously run out of things to say. It is as if I have told most of you in person and I don’t need to write any posts.
This year I thought I avoided that.
I came home from New York and I had plenty to write about.
Then all of the sudden I didn’t. I haven’t written here in a week and my last post was three YouTube videos.
I owe you more than that.
You know that I used to write for the now defunct DC Metro Moms Blog, right? Well, I did, and every once in a while I wrote something worth reading over there. Now that they have closed their doors they are allowing us to cross-post our work on our personal blogs. I wrote this this particular post last summer. It got picked up by several newspapers so it must be decent, right? Anyway, with back to school season upon The Goon Squad this seemed like an appropriate time to share it with you.
* * *
The Class of 2022
My twins turned five this week. Between all of the preschool birthday celebrations and the birthday party (you know the one where I invited every child in both of their classes? Can you even imagine 32 four and five year olds in one room… after eating chocolate cake?) I didn’t have time to think much about kindergarten orientation.
Okay fine. I didn’t know about it until a week before so I didn’t have much time to obsess about it.
I came prepared the way any good blogger would. I had my camera and my iPhone. I figured I could twitter during the boring parts.
The tweeting never happened. First of all, I got stuck in the front row and second of all as soon as the principal started talking I was riveted.
She walked out and said “Welcome to the class of 2022.”
The class of 2022! Let’s pretend for just a second it doesn’t sound like something in a science fiction book. I remember thinking 1984 was futuristic. 2022.
That reminds me of a quick story. My husband and I were shopping for a couch recently and we went into a furniture store that could only be described as “mod”. The stuff in there was very cool, very uncomfortable and very overpriced. The problem is it all had the effect of Tomorrowland. You know, yesterdays idea of the future.
I said to my husband “That looks totally 2001.” The I realized that I had to clarify “Not the year, the space odyssey.”
It seemed so odd that 2001 was eight years ago. Now here I am sitting in a small plastic chair thinking about my babies graduating from high school.
In space suits.
I’ll fly to their graduation with my jet pack. Even that idea is outdated isn’t it?
I’d like to propose a toast to the class of 2022. It will be here sooner than we think.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:23 am |
Last night I woke up at 3:33 am with what felt like labor pains.
My stomach was cramping so badly that I was convinced that Vicky was having her baby.
I reasoned that she and I had bonded so deeply when we roomed together at BlogHer that I could feel her labor pains.
I don’t know. It seemed feasible at 3:30 in the morning.
*
When I woke up the fist thing I did was check facebook to see a picture of the baby.
There were no photos.
So I e-mailed Vicky.
There was no labor. No baby yet. She slept through the night.
*
It must have been the entire sleeve of Pringles I ate yesterday.
I have got to stop doing that.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:33 pm |
Ninety minutes.
That is how long it took me to start crying after I got back into town.
I wasn’t even actually home yet.
I don’t know why I was surprised. This happens every year. I go to BlogHer and I leave feeling amazing. I see people I only get to talk to face to face once a year. I meet people in person that I have been internet friends with for five years. I watch amazing panels of women inspire me to be a better writer, mother, artist, person. I get more compliments in three days than I do for the other 362 days a year combined.
At BlogHer I make business connections. I learn. I socialize. I reunite. I am recognized as a writer. As a business woman. As an individual.
At home I am recognized as “Ian’s Mom”.
At BlogHer people ask me how I do it all.
At home people ask me why I’m not doing more.
At BlogHer I am one of the hosts of the most amazing party. We had a cake from Charm City Bakery, we had a DJ and we did The Hustle. I was sparkly.
Jen and Sarah posing as “robot hookers”. We actually wore the same dress to Sparklecorn. What are the odds that two people would buy this dress? Photo by Laurie White
At home there is a rotting cantaloupe on my kitchen counter, my sink is full of dishes and I can’t find my glasses anywhere.
At BlogHer I meet with producers of major television news networks that want to discuss the upcoming book in which two of my essays will appear.
At home it is dismissed because it is a “little blogging thing” and did you hear my sister-in-law is going to have an article in Oprah’s magazine? Did I know that she was a real writer?
At BlogHer I sit on panels next to WNBA champions and people come to the session to hear me speak.
With Megan Hueter and Kelly Mazzante at BlogHer 10. Photo by Laurie White
At home I sit next to my cat who will not stop meowing. I have no idea why.
At BlogHer I say intelligent things and people write it down.
At home I walk into the wall and hurt my elbow.
The same wall that has been in the same place ever since I moved here in 2006.
Every year it is like this. Maybe next year, when I go to my sixth BlogHer I will stop being surprised.
I’ll see you in San Diego.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
12:52 pm |
This isn’t another “what you need for BlogHer post” or “what you should wear to BlogHer piece” this is far less tangible and really only tangentially related to the conference.
This happens every year. This is my fifth BlogHer and every July the dreams begin.
A week or two ago I had a dream that Heather Armstrong was trying to tell me what to pack.
A few years ago it was the Dio swag dream.
Last night, in my dream, I went to Amy’s house to somehow prepare for BlogHer and she had recently moved into a converted beer garden, so her house had no roof. It was actually all very cool until it started raining.
It didn’t look like this picture at all. I have no idea why I am using this graphic.
The blogging community is always with me, but the pre-BlogHer dreams, the “Oh Crap! I forgot to pack my business cards!” or the “I went out to lunch and totally missed my panel and Elisa is going to be so mad at me!” nightmares I can do without.
Anyway, I hope I see you there. If you won’t be there then I won’t see you, but I will miss you. Either way, I’ll probably dream about you.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:04 am |
I’ve been shopping for the MamaPop Sparklecorn party at BlogHer this year.
Now I just have one question.
What goes with these shoes?
(thanks to Flutter for leading me to the website where I bought these)
ps – These shoes are 100% vegan. Weird, huh.
pps – I hope I can walk in them.
ppps – I am going to be, like, seven feet tall.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:25 pm |
