September 2, 2008 | Books, Confessions, Fantasy Football, Randomness

Confession #1. Thanks to my cohorts over at MamaPop I am hopelessly addicted to The Twilight Series.

Yes, I am reading young adult fiction. I am reading an entire series of young adult fiction - and it is about vampires - and I am staying up way to late at night to read these books.

Gabe is never going to let me live this one down.

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Confession #2. I have an inexplicable craving for Hamburger Helper. The cheeseburger macaroni kind.

Yes, I know it is gross that is why I have included it in my embarrassing confessions post.

Ew. Really gross. Just look at that picture. That could turn people into vegetarians.

(Didn’t work. I’m still craving it. It is as if my body is lacking salt and fat.)

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Confession #3. Yesterday I had to create a new Yahoo account because when I went to sign up for the Mommy Needs Fantasy Football League Yahoo informed me that I was already participating in the maximum number of leagues allowed.

Who is Yahoo to judge me?

I can handle fantasy football. I don’t have a problem. I can quit anytime I want.

Hmph.

Anyway, I can’t talk. I need to see what Edward and Bella are up to quickly before my next draft starts.

Nobody tell me anything! I just started the second book, New Moon and I don’t want to know anything. I already accidentally found out about Jacob and I wish I didn’t know.

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Edited to add: I don’t know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper, it does just fine by itself.

June 6, 2008 | Audience Participation, Confessions, Now I've Seen Everything, Pictures, Proof of My Immaturity, The Unexplained, potty humor

I walked into the kids bathroom today and I thought What the hell ? And then I thought Hey, this is just a caption contest waiting to happen.

So have at it.

Sell photos on photrade | By GoonSquadSarah

April 11, 2008 | Confessions, Kids Shows, TV

I’m not really a violent person but I would love to beat the crap out of Caillou.

Full apologies to PBS Kids and Sprout (and especially my friend Jeannine) whom without this blog would not be possible. Not that they give me any money or anything. I just get most of my writing done while my kids are glued to Sesame Street or Caillou or (help me Jeebus) Barney.

February 8, 2008 | Confessions, Sports, TV

I don’t do this a lot, but I wanted to cross post my piece from BlogHer this morning. It explains in greater detail why I didn’t watch the Super Bowl this year.

Fear not. I have it on my DVR and I plan on watching the third and fourth quarters sometime this weekend.

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I have a confession to make to you guys. Even though this year’s Super Bowl was the most watched game ever, with about 97.5 million viewers, I was not one of those people watching.

I know. I can’t believe it either. I LOVE the Super Bowl. I love Super Bowl parties. I even had one planned. Ack! I even called my buddy Beth un-American for scheduling her twins birthday party during the game. In fact, I am still in favor of making Super Bowl Monday a national holiday.

So you probably want to know what earth shattering event caused me to miss the big game.

Well, first my husband got sick. He was so sick that on Sunday morning I contacted all of the people that were supposed to come over for the party and I told them it was off. There obviously no way he would be in any shape to have anyone over. At about 2:00 I went to the store to get him some orange juice and soup.

By the time I got home from the grocery store I felt so bad that I had to lay on the floor for an hour. By six o’clock my eyeballs hurt individually.

You know what I think happened? I think I kissed that boy and got cooties.

So here I am with cooties or the plague or bird flu or whatever you want to call it, and the Super Bowl is starting, and as much as I love the NFL and the Super Bowl and the commercials, I just can’t bring myself to care.

Oh, I tried anyway. I even opened (read as, opened and didn’t actually drink) a beer in the spirit of things.

By 8:00 (somewhere after the two minute warning to end the first half and Tom Petty and his halftime show) I just gave up. I hit “record” on my DVR and I went to bed.

I am so ashamed.

Of course the underdogs won in an exciting comeback in the last minute, and from what I understand even the half-time show was worth watching this year.

Fortunately for you, me, the NFL, FOX and all of the advertisers some people (like I said before, about 97 million of them) did watch the game.

Amie from Mamma Loves live blogged the commercials (starting here).

Heather from No Pasa Nada gloated.

And Kay - well, she credits the New York Win to her troll and super natural powers. You never know.

October 6, 2007 | Confessions, Parenting, Pictures, The Goon Squad, Twin Stuff

I Bribed them to Smile Like This

Originally uploaded by Sarah606

I took about 60 bad pictures and finally I said “If you both smile nicely at the camera, I will give you each a piece of candy.”

They can be quite charming when it comes to getting things that they want.

October 3, 2007 | Confessions, Other Bloggers

Dear Mommy at Work,

You know how we played in the March Madness Wine Pool with you guys? The one where we bet wine instead of money? Right. Well, you know how Devra has owed you the bottle of wine since March because her slacker ass has been forgetting to give you the wine she has had at her house for nine months? And you know how Devra finally brought the wine* over here the other night?

I accidentally drank it.

Well, okay, it wasn’t exactly an accident. But I did drink it. And it was lovely. And now I owe you a bottle of wine. And twenty bucks from happy hour a couple of weeks ago. And five more bucks that Gabe borrowed from Pete when they went to happy hour. And if this fantasy football side bet goes the way it had been looking I’ll probably owe you a bottle of champagne come January.

So. Yeah. Sorry. I suck.

Cheers, Your Humble Servant,

Sarah

*You could probably win back the wine - Devra is having a contest and giving some away.

May 15, 2007 | Confessions, Son of a..., Who are the People in Your Neighborhood?

Guess what I did first thing this morning?

You’ll never guess in a bazillion years. Well, maybe in a bazillion, but I doubt if you would guess any time soon so I will just tell you.

I was standing in front of my closet perplexed. I went shopping on Sunday and I could have sworn I bought a red shirt at Ann Taylor. (Don’t get me started, Ann Taylor pisses me off but I like their clothes. I wish I didn’t. I hate stores that have petite sections and not tall sections. I think it is heightist.) I looked through my closet five times before I realized that I didn’t remember putting it away.

I knew what I had done. Son of a bitch. I threw it away with the bag. Today is trash day.

At 7:40 this morning I was out at the end of my driveway retrieving a $40 shirt with tags still on it out of my garbage can.*

I wonder what my neighbors will have to say about this one?

* No, I didn’t wear it.

April 23, 2007 | Confessions, Strollerderby Runoff

Well, we have an answer to the “Am I a hipster parent or a huge dork?” question. Thanks to Mike from Cry it Out and Google. If you do a Google or Blingo search (come on, do a search. I haven’t bothered you guys about this in a long time, and now Gabe’s iPod is dying. Can somebody please win me $1000?) and search “parent dork” I come up number one.

Ouch.

Do you need proof that I am the number one dork? I saw this picture on Cheeky’s Hideaway this morning and I have been racking my brain to think of a way to use it on my site. Problem solved:

At least I have closure.

And you get to see this lovely picture. Clearly, this is not the real KISS. I don’t really know who these guys are (if you are one of them feel free to confess) but the fact that are wearing suits and KISS makeup really made me laugh. So there you go - I really am the number one dorky parent and I’m learning to be at peace with this. I order documentaries on Netflix too, so it must be true.

Yeah, so maybe it wasn’t a burning question so much as a regular question. Perhaps you even knew that I was dorky anyway, but I got to post the KISS picture so I am happy.