Speaking of perverts and weirdos I am running my third annual Traffic Experiment Contest and it turns out that my readers haven’t gotten any more normal than they were last year. Or possibly you are just dying to get your hands on that Build-a-Bear gift certificate.
Let’s see what we have so far:
Kathi D is going with Busty Russian Lola Chicken butts.
Marilyn picked crenshaw melon tomboy boob suck. (Whatever that means)
Creative-Type Dad chose to go with potty training nude andy gibb coloring pages.
JonB chose the current even route: Obama Porn, McCain Sex act with Iraq’s prime minister and Hillary’s Iran penetration for lower gas prices caused Tim Russert and George Carlin heart failure.
Christina says she gets a lot of hits for uterus pictures.
Jodifur picked make money working from home naked celebrity photos twins.
Ali (the winner from last year) came up with another one that confuses me: Ash and Dawn from Pokemon naked.
Devra has chosen James Dobson Diapered Husband Myspace Page.
Mama Snyder might be on to something with Olsen twins chubby naked boobs.
I’m not sure which part of this she meant, so I’m just giving you Momo Fali’s entire comment: Wait. So, I’m not supposed to cradle and sing to my Mom’s granny-panties? I so cherish them. Dang.
Kara has a good chance of taking the prize with this one: Miley Cyrus Jonas Brothers smoking naked sex tape.
Catnip gets a lot of hits for can you smoke catnip?
MP has distrubing information. She gets a lot of traffic for Pictures of Penis Peeing and Little boy penis. (Please Google, don’t let this one win. No offense to mp. I just don’t think I could go on living. Also - if you got here searching for that, unless your son has a medical condition, shame on you.)
In celebration of the reinstatement of SATGS as a safe site on Google I am running the 3rd Annual Traffic Experiment.
If you have played along in the past you know that all you have to do is come up with the search term that generates the most traffic in a six week period.
Last year Ali won with “Homer Simpson Vagina Tattoo”.
No, I’m not kidding.
So hook me up. Pick one phrase that you think people will be looking for. I don’t care how whacked out it is. Leave your phrase, or word, or sentence in the comments.
And this time I have a prize. The winner will receive a $25 gift certificate to Build-a-Bear. You can hook yourself up with a Tropical Hello Kitty.
As I’ve done in the past I will be posting updates with your phrase, a link to you (if applicable) and who is winning at the time.
Claudia and I got all dressed up (see jammies) to do our drawing for our Father’s Day Giveaway. Sorry we are a day late but due to a big storm (it got so loud I made my kids get in the closet downstairs) we lost power for about 5 hours.
Congratulations Irma! Her favorite sports team is the Portuguese National Soccer Team.
You won an 8 X 10 limited edition matted sports photograph of your choice from Gold Medal Impressions.
In honor of all the great Dads out there I am giving away an 8 X 10 limited edition matted sports photograph of your choice from Gold Medal Impressions. Go check it the website. Dick Drumkman has photographs from the NFL, NBA, MLB, NCAA, the Olympics and a whole array of sporting events.
You don’t have to be a father to enter. You don’t even have to be male. You can give the photograph to your father or you can keep it for yourself. I won’t tell anybody.
In fact, all you have to do is leave a comment telling my your favorite athlete or sports team (I won’t even hold it against you if you say The St. Louis Rams or the Indiana Pacers). Then I will have a member of The Goon Squad draw a name out of a hat to determine the winner.
We’ll draw the winning entry on Monday so you have three days to enter. You can enter as many times as you want. I’m feeling generous.
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Dick Druckman’s photography is currently on exhibit in numerous countries including the US, China, Japan, Australia, France, Germany, Italy and Canada. Dick’s work has been published in numerous publications including Sports Illustrated and the New York Times.
I even have a prize this time. I will have a signed copy of Mommy Guilt signed by bothDevra Renner and Aviva Pflock (assuming I remember to ask Aviva at the J & J thing).
Now, if you are not a Mommy do not worry. It applies to Daddies too. If you are not a parent it makes a great gift. If you don’t have any parent friends give it to someone as a wedding present to freak them out.
Heh.
Warren will probably win this one too, but let’s give everyone one a fighting chance. The first commentercommentorcommenteer comment leaver to get the correct title and author of the book I just finished wins the prize.
How simple is that?
(Assuming my server is working and I don’t get 50 angry e-mails because you can see it in my feed and you know the answer and you can’t comment - oh and sorry about the picture quality. I don’t know what is up with my Palm.)
One with the show:
Clue #1
Clue #2
Clue #3:
Hey, consider #3 a bonus. One for each eye.
I give up on trying to make it look right. Mommy needs a glass of wine. (Party tonight. Pictures tomorrow. You know, assuming my server is back to normal.)
It must be the weekend. I can tell because on Friday nights my hits for midget hermaphrodite porn and Laurie Berkners boobs go through the roof.
My favorite search term from this weekend so far? So I said, “that is my foot”.
Speaking of hits and search terms and whatnot. I bet you are wondering who won the contest?
Ali won in a landslide. She suggested Homer Simpson Vagina Tattoo. I thought she was insane (until I found the tattoo itself - not suitable for a mixed audience), but her search term generated somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 hits and a lot of conversation around my house.
Congratulations Ali! Send me your info and I’ll send you your very own SATGS keychain bottle opener and maybe even some more random crap from my house depending on my mood.
Thanks to everyone who played along, and seriously, who is Kat von D?
I will tally the hits for my ongoing contest on December 1st. (I don’t feel guilty about it since I finally sent out the prize from my last contest).
For those of you that are new to the place, I am having a contest to see who could come up with the term that would generate the most traffic.
So far it is looking like Ali has the thing in the bag. She suggested Homer Simpson vagina tattoo.
You would be surprised how many people are looking for that. Some are even looking for a vagina tattoo of Bart Simpson, but if that exists, I haven’t seen it.
No one suggested this term, but since so many people (I can only assume they are NOT Green Bay fans) are looking for a picture of Brett Favre crying, I give you this:
and this:
Maybe I’ll even have another picture to add after the Dallas game tonight.
Now I feel kind of mean. Sorry Brett.
I will announce the official results early next week. There is still time to enter, but it si going to have to be good to beat Ali. She found the pulse of the internet.
Maybe you have been wondering how the contest is going. Maybe you haven’t. Hell, maybe you didn’t even realize that I was having a contest. Or maybe Andie D.mentioned that she hadn’t yet received her prize from the contest she won last month.
(blushing)
For those of you playing along at home I am having a contest to see who can come up with a phrase that will bring me the most hits. I’d like to mention right now that ham and Gruyere quiche, pee squad and onionbooty were not chosen, yet really seem to be areas of interest for people using the interweb.
Anyway, so far, Aliis kicking everyone else’s ass with ‘homer simpson vagina tattoo”. Tammy, Chase, Floreska, The Other Bear, Suburban Oblivion and Velocibadgergirl are all still in the running with (respectively) forces husband to wear panties, tig ol’ bitties, removing vongo, aunty’s breast milk, oblivion boobs and Kat Von D’s boobs.
of your choice from 
In fact, all you have to do is leave a comment telling my your favorite athlete or sports team (I won’t even hold it against you if you say The St. Louis Rams or the Indiana Pacers). Then I will have a member of The Goon Squad draw a name out of a hat to determine the winner.
signed by bothDevra Renner and Aviva Pflock (assuming I remember to ask Aviva at the J & J thing).
