Plus I posted a picture of Jon Bon Jovi practically naked over there, so what are you waiting for?

I totally used to have this exact poster on my wall.

Alas, I’ve said too much. Go win tickets.

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Go check it out.

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What else? Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson had to eat dog treats on German TV.

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I continue to rage against Kurt Warner.

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My newest internet search and win obsession is Swagbucks. Go sign up and see if you can win something. It has a better search engine than Blingo.

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Criss Angel is single again.

This is one of those first come first served things so the first reader with the correct answer will receive a copy of Katherine Center’s new novel Everyone Is Beautiful. Remember? I have two of them.

So here is the deal – the first person who correctly guesses what I am reading based on these photographs wins the book. Leave a comment with the title and author.

On your marks, get set, GO!

Clue #1:

Clue #2

Clue #3 (the blurry is on purpose to distract you)

Clue #4

Now have at it.

Me neither, until just now.

I think I was supposed to announce a winner back in September. That clearly didn’t go as planned, but I remembered today.

I remembered after getting 26 unique hits for “vagina picture”.

You see, last year Ali won the contest (the gist was to come up with a term that generated the most traffic) with “Homer Simpson vagina tattoo”.

And this year – Ali won again when she suggested “Ash and Dawn from Pokemon naked.”

Apparently this woman is tapped in to internet perverts everywhere. That is Dawn and Ash over there. People really want to see them naked?

Congratulations Ali Martel from Cheaper Than Therapy!

She has won a $25 gift certificate to Build-Bear Workshop.

And I suck at contests.*

* Not that this will stop me from having more contests. In fact, there is a good chance I will be giving away something super cool soon. Stay tuned.

Then I promptly forgot about it.

Oops.

So let’s pretend that didn’t happen and I just said – the winner will be announced on September 15th.

Luckily for you since I am a moron there is still time to enter and win the gift certificate to Build-A-Bear. (You know, assuming I can still find it.)

Here are the entries thus far:

Kathi D is going with Busty Russian Lola Chicken butts.

Marilyn picked crenshaw melon tomboy boob suck. (Whatever that means)

RubiaLala chose katie baby bump grind broadway.

Elizabeth and her husband talked it over and decided on either World of Warcraft Boob Hack (or nude hack) or Man gives birth to his own twin.

Mamikaze went with free polygamist election summer porn.

Ree picked something that could be my about page ( if I was a freak) Sports freak with a vagina birthing twins.

Jen says these two things bring a lot of traffic to her site: zicam while nursing glorious boobs.

De in D.C. went with a safe one Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt twins.

Emily came up with subway homeschoolers rainbow jello shots discriminates.

Wendy chose to use hot girls dangerous thong

Nick(memBeth) says Anthony Bourdaine’s Massive Boner Pictures.

JessicaAPISS went with naked twin drunk girls streak baseball game.

The Other Bear went simple: toilet photos.

TIF RN came up with vagtastic harry potter twins blog.

Tito says Argument over beer.

SueBob says Jessica alba naked tits.

Creative-Type Dad chose to go with potty training nude andy gibb coloring pages.

JonB chose the current even route: Obama Porn, McCain Sex act with Iraq’s prime minister and Hillary’s Iran penetration for lower gas prices caused Tim Russert and George Carlin heart failure.

Christina says she gets a lot of hits for uterus pictures.

Jodifur picked make money working from home naked celebrity photos twins.

Ali (the winner from last year) came up with another one that confuses me: Ash and Dawn from Pokemon naked.

Ilina from Dirt and Noise came up with naked political junkie smacks Tom Cruise.

Jodifur says make money working from home naked celebrity photos twins.

Liz says that she gets at least a few hits every day for “mom like it big.”

Whit has chosen to go with free nude teen sex clinton.

M.A. Smith is going with deconstructing Cinderella. I wonder if she means the princess or the band?

Musing (who has good taste in men but obviously didn’t see the same Inside the Actors Studio that I did) says Johnny Depp for president.

Leticia from Tech Savvy Mama came up with a nice clean one – Vista sucks.

Wicked Step Mom says Underage Crossdressing Orangutang Politician.

Devra has chosen James Dobson Diapered Husband Myspace Page.

Mama Snyder might be on to something with Olsen twins chubby naked boobs.

I’m not sure which part of this she meant, so I’m just giving you Momo Fali’s entire comment: Wait. So, I’m not supposed to cradle and sing to my Mom’s granny-panties? I so cherish them. Dang.

Kara has a good chance of taking the prize with this one: Miley Cyrus Jonas Brothers smoking naked sex tape.

Catnip gets a lot of hits for can you smoke catnip?

MP has distrubing information. She gets a lot of traffic for Pictures of Penis Peeing and Little boy penis. (Please Google, don’t let this one win. No offense to mp. I just don’t think I could go on living. Also – if you got here searching for that, unless your son has a medical condition, shame on you.)

Izzy is getting hits for Exploded babysitter.

Supertiff suggested sisters peeing together.

Dana covers a multitude of topics with : rachel ray medical butt naked sushi jolie twins

House Frau gets hits for dog slut.

Shamelessly Sassy has just one wish: I sure hope I can hang thongs on my christmas tree this year.

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From Karen Sugarpants – Miley Cyrus Big Teeth Toilet Brush Cankles

From Stimey – I like suppositories. (See, I didn’t even write Stimey likes suppositories like I wanted to.)

Joe is hedging his bets with these five:

erin moran molested by henry winkler

huge suckeling boobs

pinky tuscadero hand gesture

rat up in yo weave

what color was becky thatcher’s hair

Snarky Amber went with these three: the woman needed to tinkle, bridal party wet peeing panties split crotch, and wearing panties at your desk. (I worry about Snarky Amber)

Remember – you can still enter your own phrase. Just pick something that you think is search-worthy.

This contest will be open until August.

Yuck.

Speaking of perverts and weirdos I am running my third annual Traffic Experiment Contest and it turns out that my readers haven’t gotten any more normal than they were last year. Or possibly you are just dying to get your hands on that Build-a-Bear gift certificate.

Let’s see what we have so far:

Kathi D is going with Busty Russian Lola Chicken butts.

Marilyn picked crenshaw melon tomboy boob suck. (Whatever that means)

RubiaLala chose katie baby bump grind broadway.

Elizabeth and her husband talked it over and decided on either World of Warcraft Boob Hack (or nude hack) or Man gives birth to his own twin.

Mamikaze went with free polygamist election summer porn.

Ree picked something that could be my about page ( if I was a freak) Sports freak with a vagina birthing twins.

Jen says these two things bring a lot of traffic to her site: zicam while nursing glorious boobs.

De in D.C. went with a safe one Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt twins.

Emily came up with subway homeschoolers rainbow jello shots discriminates.

Wendy chose to use hot girls dangerous thong

Nick(memBeth) says Anthony Bourdaine’s Massive Boner Pictures.

JessicaAPISS went with naked twin drunk girls streak baseball game.

The Other Bear went simple: toilet photos.

TIF RN came up with vagtastic harry potter twins blog.

Tito says Argument over beer.

SueBob says Jessica alba naked tits.

Creative-Type Dad chose to go with potty training nude andy gibb coloring pages.

JonB chose the current even route: Obama Porn, McCain Sex act with Iraq’s prime minister and Hillary’s Iran penetration for lower gas prices caused Tim Russert and George Carlin heart failure.

Christina says she gets a lot of hits for uterus pictures.

Jodifur picked make money working from home naked celebrity photos twins.

Ali (the winner from last year) came up with another one that confuses me: Ash and Dawn from Pokemon naked.

Ilina from Dirt and Noise came up with naked political junkie smacks Tom Cruise.

Jodifur says make money working from home naked celebrity photos twins.

Liz says that she gets at least a few hits every day for “mom like it big.”

Whit has chosen to go with free nude teen sex clinton.

M.A. Smith is going with deconstructing Cinderella. I wonder if she means the princess or the band?

Musing (who has good taste in men but obviously didn’t see the same Inside the Actors Studio that I did) says Johnny Depp for president.

Leticia from Tech Savvy Mama came up with a nice clean one – Vista sucks.

Wicked Step Mom says Underage Crossdressing Orangutang Politician.

Devra has chosen James Dobson Diapered Husband Myspace Page.

Mama Snyder might be on to something with Olsen twins chubby naked boobs.

I’m not sure which part of this she meant, so I’m just giving you Momo Fali’s entire comment: Wait. So, I’m not supposed to cradle and sing to my Mom’s granny-panties? I so cherish them. Dang.

Kara has a good chance of taking the prize with this one: Miley Cyrus Jonas Brothers smoking naked sex tape.

Catnip gets a lot of hits for can you smoke catnip?

MP has distrubing information. She gets a lot of traffic for Pictures of Penis Peeing and Little boy penis. (Please Google, don’t let this one win. No offense to mp. I just don’t think I could go on living. Also – if you got here searching for that, unless your son has a medical condition, shame on you.)

Izzy is getting hits for Exploded babysitter.

Supertiff suggested sisters peeing together.

Dana covers a multitude of topics with : rachel ray medical butt naked sushi jolie twins

House Frau gets hits for dog slut.

Shamelessly Sassy has just one wish: I sure hope I can hang thongs on my christmas tree this year.

Remember – you can still enter your own phrase. Just pick something that you think is search-worthy.

This contest will be open until August.

If you have played along in the past you know that all you have to do is come up with the search term that generates the most traffic in a six week period.

Last year Ali won with “Homer Simpson Vagina Tattoo”.

No, I’m not kidding.

So hook me up. Pick one phrase that you think people will be looking for. I don’t care how whacked out it is. Leave your phrase, or word, or sentence in the comments.

And this time I have a prize. The winner will receive a $25 gift certificate to Build-a-Bear. You can hook yourself up with a Tropical Hello Kitty.

As I’ve done in the past I will be posting updates with your phrase, a link to you (if applicable) and who is winning at the time.

The winner will be announced on August 1st (ish).

Good luck.

Congratulations Irma! Her favorite sports team is the Portuguese National Soccer Team.

You won an 8 X 10 limited edition matted sports photograph of your choice from Gold Medal Impressions.

In honor of all the great Dads out there I am giving away an 8 X 10 limited edition matted sports photograph of your choice from Gold Medal Impressions. Go check it the website. Dick Drumkman has photographs from the NFL, NBA, MLB, NCAA, the Olympics and a whole array of sporting events.

You don’t have to be a father to enter. You don’t even have to be male. You can give the photograph to your father or you can keep it for yourself. I won’t tell anybody.

In fact, all you have to do is leave a comment telling my your favorite athlete or sports team (I won’t even hold it against you if you say The St. Louis Rams or the Indiana Pacers). Then I will have a member of The Goon Squad draw a name out of a hat to determine the winner.

We’ll draw the winning entry on Monday so you have three days to enter. You can enter as many times as you want. I’m feeling generous.

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Dick Druckman’s photography is currently on exhibit in numerous countries including the US, China, Japan, Australia, France, Germany, Italy and Canada. Dick’s work has been published in numerous publications including Sports Illustrated and the New York Times.