Archive for the 'Food' Category
Last night I woke up at 3:33 am with what felt like labor pains.
My stomach was cramping so badly that I was convinced that Vicky was having her baby.
I reasoned that she and I had bonded so deeply when we roomed together at BlogHer that I could feel her labor pains.
I don’t know. It seemed feasible at 3:30 in the morning.
*
When I woke up the fist thing I did was check facebook to see a picture of the baby.
There were no photos.
So I e-mailed Vicky.
There was no labor. No baby yet. She slept through the night.
*
It must have been the entire sleeve of Pringles I ate yesterday.
I have got to stop doing that.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:33 pm |
I just stood in my kitchen and watched a pot of water boil.
I watched it happen. They say you can’t, but I can. Maybe you can’t, but I can.
I CAN DO ANYTHING! You can’t stop me.
It was amazing.
(They don’t really call me The Myth Buster. They call me “The Boiler”.)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:29 pm |
With three minutes to go in the third period of the Olympic gold medal men’s hockey game between Canada and the U.S.A. yesterday my doorbell rang.
The game was 2 – 1 Canada at the time and it was so exciting that my husband and I were actually both standing in front of the television.
When the door bell rang we just looked at each other and said pretty much in unison “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
Who is soliciting door to door during the U.S.A./Canada hockey game?
I almost didn’t answer it, but we have a DVR so we paused the game and I went downstairs.
Through our sidelights I saw that it was Leanna, my seven-year-old neighbor. I stopped being angry right away because: 1) I like her. She’s pretty cute and what does a seven-year-old know about Olympic hockey?, 2) She was wearing a sombrero. It is really hard to be mad at somebody wearing a sombrero. and 3) She was holding a bag that was probably for me.
I opened the door and the bag WAS for me.
The bag contained four boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. Two boxes of Somoas and two boxes of Thin Mints.
I don’t know how closely you are following my life, but I am currently involved in two weight loss competitions, really three if you count the side bet that I made with my dad yesterday.
It was as if he was in cahoots with Leanna.
But my father scheming against me with neighborhood children isn’t my point. My point is that every year, just as I am figuring out how to diet and exercise properly a cute little girl comes to my door with cookies, delicious Girl Scout Cookies, and tries to sabotage my diet.
I’d like to propose that the girl scouts move their cookie deliveries to the fall when I tend to be on a Halloween to New Years Eve food bender anyway.
I’d also like to propose that anyone who rings my doorbell during an important sporting event wear a sombrero to lessen my wrath.
(more…)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:22 am |
Recently Kate Moss told interviewer Brid Costello that one of her mottoes is “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
My first reaction was to recite that to myself 800 times a day and see if it worked. I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting motivated to lose weight in the last couple of years. I thought maybe this would help.
Instead, it just made me realize how wrong she was. Here is a short list of reasons why Kate Moss is wrong.
- beer
- Doritos
- Pringles sour cream and onion chips
- bacon
- bagels
- a bloody mary
- macaroni and cheese
- foie gras
- french fries
- Anything from Five Guys
- brownies
- fresh strawberries
- cheese steak
- fried rice
- burritos
- beef stroganoff
- wine
- pizza
- fried chicken
See? Those are just off the top of my head. I didn’t even put any real thought in to that list. Just think if I had more time to expand!
Then I read this.
“Kate Moss’s comments are likely to cause many more. If you read any of the pro-anorexia websites, they go crazy for quotes like this.”
The slogan is adopted on various websites, including one called Starving For Control.
Green, 22, who is a size 12, added: “Millions of girls aspire to be like Kate Moss. These comments are shocking and irresponsible.”
Wait a second. Pro-Anorexia websites? There are multiple websites that support a disease?
What is this world coming to? Are there pro-polio websites? Are people hoping to successfully become alcoholics? Do we need websites to help us get sick?
Getting back to Kate’s motto, maybe I’m not the best judge of what being skinny feels like. The last time I was truly “skinny” I was recovering from mono, so to me skinny feels like a really bad sore throat and dying. I’m sure it feels different to her. Maybe to her it feels like millions of dollars.
I have no personal reference to how millions of dollars feels, but I bet it is pretty awesome.
It just seems to me like in this day and age (the day and age where I just became my grandmother by using that phrase) where even France has banned runway models that are too skinny and young girls are dying every day from anorexia we could try to promote more healthy concepts than “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”.
And in that top picture at least, skinny actually looks sort of painful.
I am trying to raise a daughter over here. I would love it if she can be spared the weight issues and self-esteem bullshit I have been dealing with since I was 12.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
11:30 am |
I choose to be in denial for one more day. I’m not thinking about Kindergarten starting Tuesday, I am thinking about my anniversary trip in October.
I’ve got some nice meals to look forward to. We’ve secured reservations at The French Laundry, Mustards and Cyrus.
Now, who has recommendations for a place to stay in Healdsburg or Sonoma or Calistoga?
I’ve got my Napa days pretty well planned out, but what non-Napa vineyards/wineries are not to be missed? Consider yourself my AAA.
Not to be confused with my AA, you can be that when we get home.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
4:08 pm |
