Archive for the 'I Have Issues' Category
I was in a bus accident yesterday.
I was looking out of my window and I said to Gabe “That guy is totally going to hit us.”
Then he did.
I suppose accident is overstating what happened. I mean it was a crash, but it was an extraordinarily low speed collision.
Our bus was stopped and waiting in line to pay a toll and a moron in a Ford Explorer that was trying to edge his way in front of us must not have noticed that we were not moving at all and he sideswiped a completely stationary bus.
It occurs to me that this was the third time that I have been in a bus that was hit by another vehicle.
The first time I was in Jr. High and I was riding school bus to school and the school bus behind us (filled with friends from the same school) rear ended us.
Nobody was seriously injured, but a lot of stupid sixth graders acted like they had whiplash to get out of social studies.
I wasn’t one of them. I liked social studies.
The second time I was in a bus wreck I was on a choir trip to Chicago. We were in rush hour traffic and a car that was trying to edge its way into our lane side swiped out tour bus.
It was almost as sad as yesterday.
But yesterday our bus was stopped. We were at a complete standstill. He didn’t even hit the front corner of the bus. He hit the side. I mean this was a sizable vehicle. How did he not see it?
Or was he just such a dick that he assumed the bus would somehow back up quickly to let him in because he “meant it”?
Whatever.
I’m glad I am not the bus driver. Sure, the guy who hit us was at fault, but now this driver will have to explain to his boss that some jerk hit a bus full of paying customers because our driver was in too big of a hurry to let in one more car.
Nobody got hurt, but the Explorer lost a side mirror and hopefully both drivers feel bad about themselves.
There are two morals to this story.
1) Just let the damn car cut in front of you. Is it really worth all that paperwork?
and
2) Don’t ride in a bus with me.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
3:24 pm |
I was sitting at the table, eating my yogurt, minding my own business when the phone rang.
It was an automated survey.
Question: Do you own a small dog? 
I said no.
THAT WAS THE ENTIRE SURVEY?
What the hell kind of business could require an anonymous automated telephone survey where the sole question is “Do you own a small dog?”
Are the politicians planning a smear campaign claiming that one of the candidates hates small dogs? Do they have a picture of a senator kicking a chihuahua? Or am I totally off. Maybe there were more questions if you said yes to the first query.
Maybe Alex Trebek was punking me.
I don’t know the answer, but I do know this:
1) I am going to stop answering my phone.
2) This crap is going to bother me for months.
[photo: Nutloaf]
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:35 pm |
This isn’t another “what you need for BlogHer post” or “what you should wear to BlogHer piece” this is far less tangible and really only tangentially related to the conference.
This happens every year. This is my fifth BlogHer and every July the dreams begin.
A week or two ago I had a dream that Heather Armstrong was trying to tell me what to pack.
A few years ago it was the Dio swag dream.
Last night, in my dream, I went to Amy’s house to somehow prepare for BlogHer and she had recently moved into a converted beer garden, so her house had no roof. It was actually all very cool until it started raining.
It didn’t look like this picture at all. I have no idea why I am using this graphic.
The blogging community is always with me, but the pre-BlogHer dreams, the “Oh Crap! I forgot to pack my business cards!” or the “I went out to lunch and totally missed my panel and Elisa is going to be so mad at me!” nightmares I can do without.
Anyway, I hope I see you there. If you won’t be there then I won’t see you, but I will miss you. Either way, I’ll probably dream about you.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:04 am |
A Cult? Really? When did acrostics get so judgmental?
Sheesh. Who wrote this puzzle Jeb Bush?
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
8:29 pm |
I know that what I am complaining about here is a problem that 99% of the population wishes they were fortunate enough to have. I know that I have a good life. I was born in a free country to parents that loved me and had the means to give me a good education. I had two healthy babies that I was able to stay home with because my husband has a good job. Now I am fortunate enough to work from home.
What I am trying to say is that if you have actual problems, you should stop reading this post right here.
I am not kidding. Stop reading right now because I am about to make you really mad. You will yell at me. You will resent me and you will wonder why I think I have a thing in the world to complain about. Don’t read on unless your life is perfect.
(more…)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
8:55 am |
