When we walked down to the lobby the concierge said “Can I help you ladies?”
I said: “Yes. This might sound strange, but I am looking for the Wienermobile.”
All three of us stifled back some laughter and he said “Actually, I know exactly what you are talking about and it was parked out front earlier.”
I was excited. When I woke up that morning I saw this from my hotel room window.
THE WIENERMOBILE!
I know. It is kind of stupid, but did you know that they don’t just let anybody ride in The Wienermobile? I know this because the commoners who were walking by (and by commoners I mean people who weren’t at my conference) weren’t allowed on. But the wiener lady let Laurie and I get into the giant hot dog!
We’re laughing like that because the wiener lady would not stop saying things like “Does one of you want to sit shot bun?” and “We’re all wieners” and “It is bunderful.”
Really. She did. And she did it deadpan.
And she didn’t stop as we drove around Houston.
To be frank with you it was fairly surreal.
The wiener lady gave me these stickers. That said “I tweeted from the Wienermobile”.
So I did.
And it was good.
When we got back to the hotel we ran into Tanis and took some more pictures because 1) It was a blogging conference and that is what we do and 2) IT WAS THE FUCKING WIENERMOBILE!
(more…)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:33 am |
I’ve mentioned before that my Tae Kwon Do class is pretty much comprised of me and a bunch of 4 – 7 year olds, right?
I guess I am getting used to this.
I was driving some of my friends from class home yesterday when we had the following conversation.
TODD: I can run faster than anyone in this world.
IAN: I can run faster than a cheetah.
CLAUDIA: I am the fastest land mammal.
PAIGE: I can run up and down the stairs faster than any of you.
CLAUDIA: I can run one million miles an hour.
PAIGE: I can run up and down the stairs sixty miles an hour.
TODD: Oh yeah? I can run from here to North Carolina in 50 miles an hour.
ME: Oh yeah? I can read.
Burn those guys.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:31 am |
A couple of weeks ago I only had two pairs of white underpants.
I had a pair of white thong underpants and a giant pair of white granny panties.
I know this for sure because I need to wear white underwear under my dobok.
Remember how I told you I signed up for Tae Kwon Do? A dobok is a Tae Kwon Do uniform.
I found myself in a predicament. I could either start doing a lot more laundry or I could go out and buy some more white underwear.
Obviously I went to the store.
I didn’t have a lot of time so I went to Target. Plus, this didn’t have to be awesome underwear. I was going to wear it to kick people. I found a pack that was three pairs (pair?) of of white thong panties for $11. Perfect for wearing under white pants. Right?
Now, I don’t really want to get into this here. I have an entire blog dedicated to my weight issues, but I do need to tell you that I wasn’t sure if I needed to buy large or XL underpants. These looked pretty roomy so I went with the large.
Later that Day…
I went to my second Tae Kwon Do class feeling nervous. In my first class I fully expected to look like an idiot and I had made my peace with it. This was my second class and the masters would probably presume I sort of knew what was going on at this point.
But things got sort of strange. There was a family there that seemed to be training to be masters or something.
Our regular two teachers were there but there was also a family of four: a mom, a dad, and two sons who looked to be about nine and eleven who seemed to be running the class. And they all had special blue tunics.
We did the stretching and the warm ups and thing where you count and do your little poses (give me time, I’m sure I will learn what these things are called) and then we got into two lines and the family in the blue tunics pulled out some mini trampolines.
The idea was that we ran up to the trampoline, jumped, did our kick and then ran back into the line.
This is great exercise. It is good cardio and an excellent way to practice kicks and body control.
It is also kind of fun, but only if you wore the right underpants.
In my case large was too large.
As soon as I started running my underpants started falling down.
A lot.
The kind of falling down where if I had been wearing a skirt my underpants would have been around my ankles.
But I was wearing pants so the crotch of my underpants were where it was supposed to be and the sides were down around my outer thighs.
If it had just been me and the other 11 five and six year olds in my class I would have just reached into my pants and hiked up my underwear, but one side of the studio is mirrors and one side is entirely parents.
And I know most of the parents.
I am in a predicament. I am supposed to be focused on the task (or the master will never give me a sticker) but my underwear is falling down and that is very distracting.
I am also starting to wonder if the parents can see that my underpants are falling down through my white pants.
I am also seriously glad I didn’t buy the extra larges.
In the end I decided on first actually reaching into the leg of my pants and pulling up my underwear, and later just kicking stuff with my drawers practically down to my knees.
This pair of underwear was freakishly stretchy.
And when I got home I threw the underpants in the trash can.
You know, writing this I realize that even though this happened to me two weeks ago I still haven’t solved my problem. In fact, I have actually just been doing more laundry like some kind of sucker. I guess I’ll be going back to the store to look for more white underpants.
And this time I will strongly consider purchasing the mediums.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:42 am |
