I’m on a Plane

I just paid $12.95 so I could complain to you live from the sky. Let’s rephrase that and say that I am going to rant, or wait, musing sounds better. I shall offer you my musings from the sky. There. That sounds far less angsty. Musings from the sky sound almost arty. This changes nothing […]

The Late Apology

Yesterday I got an apology that was 22 years overdue. Sort of out of nowhere (sort of not, Facebook and old pictures stir up dusty old memories that we’ve worked so hard to suppress) a guy that dicked me over in 10th grade sent me an apology. A boy that cheated on me in 1989 […]

Things I Learned About Myself While Scanning Old Photos

8 Things I Learned About Myself While Scanning Old Photos 1. I was neither fat nor ugly. I’m not entirely sure why I thought I was.

Laundry Detergent and Farts

I have left the house three times today and each time I got into my vehicle I had the same reaction. So I did what anyone would do. I told twitter. Later I thought, huh. Maybe I should explain that. The story starts last week when my neighbor and I went to Costco. I had […]


I’m still around. I’m just in other places right about now. Like here: Ranting about how having kids that are close in age is not at all the same as having twins. And here: Talking about my love for Jon Gruden. And pimping pork and aiming low and honing my satire skills. Don’t worry, I […]

Two Seven Year Olds Walk Into an Old Navy

On Wednesday, right after school, I took The Goon Squad shopping for fall. Why do I wait until until midway through September to go back to school shopping you ask? Well, one because August and September are super busy for me, but also because this is when Old Navy has that crazy kids sale. I […]

Heads Up

Bear with me for a few quick moments of self-promotion before we return to our regularly scheduled ranting and nonsense. * * * For those of  you in the Washington D.C. area my choir is performing a on September 11th at 4:00pm at National Presbyterian in remembrance of the September 11th attacks. The concert is […]

Exciting and New

For six years the tagline here has been “That’s right. You heard me.” Today that became more than a tagline. I just launched a site called “That’s right. You heard me.” over on the brand spanking new site Babble Voices. Please check it out if you have a free second.

Still Counts

As a freelance writer I was totally psyched when I saw this tweet. Me? Popular Mechanics? Tried to attribute? I clicked right over. Here is what I saw. Is that my refrigerator? What the hell? Yes, Popular Mechanics used a snapshot I took of the inside of my fridge for a flickr meme. It was […]

They Call it Madness

I am running a March Madness pool over at Draft Day Suit and I have real prizes and everything so come over and fill out your brackets. It isn’t gambling if you don’t have to ante up. What are you waiting for? The tournament starts on Thursday!

He Tweets Just Like He Writes Lyrics

Similar To:

According to twitter I am similar to. I don’t even know which one is best. I love them all, but I only had a poster of one of them on my wall in 6th grade. You’ll have to guess which one.