Archive for the 'I Just Logged On My Internet' Category
Ninety minutes.
That is how long it took me to start crying after I got back into town.
I wasn’t even actually home yet.
I don’t know why I was surprised. This happens every year. I go to BlogHer and I leave feeling amazing. I see people I only get to talk to face to face once a year. I meet people in person that I have been internet friends with for five years. I watch amazing panels of women inspire me to be a better writer, mother, artist, person. I get more compliments in three days than I do for the other 362 days a year combined.
At BlogHer I make business connections. I learn. I socialize. I reunite. I am recognized as a writer. As a business woman. As an individual.
At home I am recognized as “Ian’s Mom”.
At BlogHer people ask me how I do it all.
At home people ask me why I’m not doing more.
At BlogHer I am one of the hosts of the most amazing party. We had a cake from Charm City Bakery, we had a DJ and we did The Hustle. I was sparkly.
Jen and Sarah posing as “robot hookers”. We actually wore the same dress to Sparklecorn. What are the odds that two people would buy this dress? Photo by Laurie White
At home there is a rotting cantaloupe on my kitchen counter, my sink is full of dishes and I can’t find my glasses anywhere.
At BlogHer I meet with producers of major television news networks that want to discuss the upcoming book in which two of my essays will appear.
At home it is dismissed because it is a “little blogging thing” and did you hear my sister-in-law is going to have an article in Oprah’s magazine? Did I know that she was a real writer?
At BlogHer I sit on panels next to WNBA champions and people come to the session to hear me speak.
With Megan Hueter and Kelly Mazzante at BlogHer 10. Photo by Laurie White
At home I sit next to my cat who will not stop meowing. I have no idea why.
At BlogHer I say intelligent things and people write it down.
At home I walk into the wall and hurt my elbow.
The same wall that has been in the same place ever since I moved here in 2006.
Every year it is like this. Maybe next year, when I go to my sixth BlogHer I will stop being surprised.
I’ll see you in San Diego.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
12:52 pm |
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:00 am |
You know, sometimes you think you are past something. You may not think about it for months at a time. It doesn’t seem like something that bothers you anymore but then there is that name and all the anger boils back up to the surface.
I used to hold crazy grudges. There was a time that I was proud that I did not forgive people. I am not friends with any of my ex-boyfriends. Even now if you piss me off bad enough I just stop knowing you.
I’m not even talking about an old boyfriend. I am talking about the first girl who was my friend who I trusted who betrayed that trust. We were in 10th grade when she tried to steal my boyfriend.
The guy in question wasn’t even worth a damn. My life would probably be a better place had she succeeded. He was a jerk and he ended up cheating on me anyway, but at least it was with someone I didn’t know.
The point is that I never really had any faith in the boy. One time he lectured me on how important it was how many syllables a band name had – you know, because of the chanting at arena shows. He wasn’t really much of a catch. Last I heard he had a nice job at a gas station. He talked so much trash that I wasn’t really all that surprised when it turned out that he had two girlfriends at one time. I was disappointed but not shocked that he was a liar.
I trusted her. She was my friend. I told her my secrets. I never thought in a million years that she would would betray me.
But she did.
She really, really did and I vowed I would never forgive her.
I was 16. It was 21 years ago.
Last night I was in my kitchen, checking my e-mail and there her name is in the subject line.
Hi Sarah,
Your Nemesis wants to be friends with you on Facebook.
Of course it was her real name and I don’t even know if I’m not telling you her name out of respect or it is because I feel like I would have to spit every time I read it. I had no idea I was still angry.
I’ve had shitty friends since then but really, I just walk away. If I can’t totally walk away I will distance myself slowly. I don’t need to pledge revenge anymore. Most of the time I don’t even let it get to me.
But this – THIS – has me angry all over again and my only guess as to why is that she was the first girl who ever really fucked me over.
I guess I have been lucky. I have had, and still have many close friends. I am the girl who had trouble keeping my wedding party down to five people. I make friends easily and I must usually be a good judge of character because I have a lot of friends who have been in my life for over 20 years who have never betrayed me.
I really don’t understand why I feel sick to my stomach. I understand even less why I am so offended that she would think I would accept her friend request. She probably doesn’t even remember what happened. It was more than half my life ago.
And if you are wondering, no I did not accept. I don’t want to see her pictures. I don’t care how many children she has. It would not make me feel better if she gained a bunch of weight. I don’t want to know where she lives or what she does for a living. I don’t even want her to die anymore, but I really, really wish she wouldn’t try to be my friend.
And deep down inside I guess I still hope she gets really horrible diarrhea in a place with a really dirty restroom.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
4:47 pm |
1) I complimented my son on his cute belly and he told me not to write a blog post about it.
2) When I get a UPS or FedEx delivery the other kids in the neighborhood come over to see if it is a video game.
3) The other day I left a comment on my friend’s blog suggesting that she call me to talk about administering suppositories to children – literally shoving things up kids’ butts. If I weren’t a mother of young children I would probably go to prison for that sort of behavior.
4) I have very close friends that I tend to think of by their twitter name.
5) I no longer think it is strange when I get things in the mail from Yahoo!
6) Most of the moms in Ian’s class know about the time my underpants fell down in Tae Kwon Do.
7) I just asked my husband “If I am writing ‘kids butts’ where to I put the apostrophe?” and he didn’t even ask me why I wanted to know.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:56 pm |
Why I am going to art school.
Why I am offended by the iPhone commercial.
A picture I took on a walk in my classy neighborhood. ————>
Why the Cincinnati Bengals pissed me off.
For $11.5 million, I will sell you two of my toes.
Now I am off to prepare for a birthday party for two six year olds. If you are a person of faith, pray for me. If you are not, please send beer.
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Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
4:18 pm |
