August 12, 2008 | Friends, I Love Beer, If It's For Free It's For Me

I have a one day turnaround.

Yesterday I got home from Albuquerque and tomorrow I leave for Hot Springs. Today consists of doing laundry and trying to procure a broadband card so that I can do my job while on the road. I also had library books to return (the library is becoming like the video store for me. With all of my late fees it will soon become cheaper to just start buying books again.) and grocery shopping.  Then I have to repack for myself and the kids before we leave in the morning.

It took me a while to wrangle up the Goon Squad and convince them that we had to go get a broadband card. I can’t imagine why they weren’t excited about it. Maybe if I had mentioned it would enable me to show them YouTube videos of transformers and princesses in the car they would have been a little bit more motivated.

So just as I was thinking this was going to be a pretty crappy day the greatest thing happened.

The DHL guy showed up at my door. (DHL, that is the yellow one right? You know, not Fed Ex, UPS or the Post Office, but the other one.) He had a big heavy box for me.

This particular box sloshed and it required someone over 21 to sign for it.

It was beer! For me!

I had completely forgotten but back in April I was in a wedding. Two of my favorite people married each other and for my bridesmaid gift they gave me years membership to The Beer of the Month Club.

Now you see why they are two of my favorite people.

I know I said beer of the month, but actually I get a mixed 12 pack every other month, or maybe it is every three months, but today was my lucky day!

Ever since that nice man brought beer to my door I have been in a good mood. I haven’t even had any yet but just knowing it is chilling in my beer fridge makes me happy.

July 28, 2008 | If It's For Free It's For Me

Step 1) Meet a friend in 10th grade.

Step 2) Stay in touch with aforementioned friend for 20 years.

Step 3) Have children.

Step 4) Wait for friend to get a job in your town and move 1000 miles north.

Step 5) Have friend marry awesome guy.

Step 6) Wait until that guy is unemployed.

Step 7) Invite the two of them over to dinner.

Step 8 ) Give guy friend many beers and then sucker him into babysitting while you go to the gym.

And there you have it! Simple.

You are thinking it would be easier to just pay a neighborhood kid, aren’t you?

March 17, 2008 | If It's For Free It's For Me, Other Bloggers, Sports

If you weren’t at the Caps/Bruins game yesterday, not only did you miss a great ending (there was a shoot out and Semin and Kozlov scored winning goals for the home team) but you missed fleece helmet day!

Nancy and I totally rocked the hats, didn’t we?

*sigh*

We really should have asked someone else to take the picture. Whenever I take a picture of myself my head looks huge. Of course Nancy looks adorable.

We had a great time and drank some non-green beer.

Proof:

If you look very carefully you can see the Capitals logo on my shirt.

You know, you would think a city that closed down half of its streets for a St. Patrick’s Day parade would at least have green beer at a hockey game. Come on! We played the Bruins. The Boston Bruins.

Speaking of beer, I would like to apologize to anyone who saw the picture of the twins’ sonogram yesterday and thought I was pregnant. I am not and I never plan on being in the future. We have had that surgically taken care of. YOU can have as many children as you want, but we’re sticking with two. When the twins were infants I had a recurring nightmare that I found out I was pregnant with triplets and we were going to have five children under the age of two.

Okay, this post is going nowhere. Tune in later when I make more sense.

Have a great St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

December 18, 2006 | If It's For Free It's For Me

I cannot believe you people didn’t understand how cool this Hello Kitty guitar is. Now I feel like I need to explain myself. Just look at it.

It is so girly and stupid that it is punk rock. What is more asshole than a pink Hello Kitty Guitar?

Originally Gabe showed this to me as an idea for Claudia, but she isn’t big enough for it yet and it is too expensive to buy as a joke. But somehow it became (much like my hot pink cell phone) something that I actually wanted. I don’t know what happened. I am a terrible guitar player, we already have an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar, a bass, a six string bass and an acoustic bass here that we never have time to play.

But still…

While I am discussing stuff, let me tell you about some free stuff that I got.

Charlie (of the free portable DVD player fame) sent me a Norelco Bodygroom. (Okay, this link is to a commercial, but it’s pretty freaking funny.) When I first got the package I took this picture of the box (because I am really immature).

Now if you can read this box, you will see that if I took the time to read it instead of just giggling at the pictures that it is supposed to be exclusively for men. Clearly, I am not a man.

This may or may not explain why I had a problem with it. More likely it is because I am sort of a moron and that I don’t know how to use an electric shaver.

When I tried to use it I dropped it on the shower floor immediately and broke it. See, it’s cool because you can take it in the shower. Well, it’s cool if you aren’t really really clumsy.
Luckily, Gabe fixed and says it works well. That is all I am going to say about it. If you want to know which of his bodyzones he shaved you are going to have to ask him.

(Nobody gave me the guitar. Free or otherwise, but keep an eye out when I review my new Swiffer and my new one of these. I’ll explain the picture some other time.)