The Class of 2022 (BlogHer Hangover Part 2)

There are actually two kinds of BlogHer hangovers. The kind of hangover I wrote about two weeks ago and the kind where you run out of words. Usually when I come home from BlogHer I find that I have mysteriously run out of things to say. It is as if I have told most of […]

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice?

Me: Claudia, I think the bathing suit you wore this morning is getting too small for you. Her: No it isn’t. Me: Really, honey, I think it is. Look at this picture. Her: That isn’t too small! It was just crammed up the hole.

Not Quite Stooping to Their Level

Her: Sarah and Gabe sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First come love, Second comes marriage, Then comes Mommy with the BABY CARRIAGE! Them: Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha! Me: Well, yeah, that is pretty much what happened except for the tree part, and it was a double stroller, and the babies were all loud and pooped a lot.

This Might Be the Answer That You Have Been Searching For

“Mommy?” he said “Can you live without ever drinking chocolate milk?” “Sure,” I said “Lots of people probably never drink chocolate milk.” “You can live without ever ever drinking a single drop of chocolate milk?” “Yes. Why?” “Claudia said you can’t live if you don’t drink chocolate milk.” Then a little voice came from the […]

They Just Keep Getting Weirder

The boy was admiring his new robot dragon pajamas in the full length mirror in my bedroom. IAN: Where are his flappy wings? ME: I don’t know. It doesn’t look like he has any. This robot dragon appears to have arms instead. IAN: All dragons have arms. ME: I don’t think that is true. IAN: […]

Again

Reading Teacher of the Year, Right Here

I don’t think I told you about it here but I’ve been doing Hooked on Phonics with The Goon Squad. Since they started Kindergarten I have been sort of neglectful. Their teacher have been doing a great job and they have both been making huge leaps in reading and writing. Since the weather gods have […]

Awesome

Stuth

For some reason completely out of my realm of understanding my children (especially the boy) has started replacing his “f” sounds with the “th” sound. They usually only do this when it is the last sound in a word, so stuff becomes stuth, or enough becomes enuth. It is almost some sort of reversed cockney, […]

What the Hell are They Teaching My Kids at That School?

This came home from school in Ian’s backpack this week. I’ve been laughing about it for three days. Let’s take a closer look, shall we? He swears it says Jack.

The Phone, The Fight, The Santa Lie and Poop

I made the mistake of telling them that they could answer the phone when I was in the shower. Yes, I am talking about my five year olds and no, I have no idea what I was thinking. I realize you are expecting me to say that they ordered a years worth of Highlights magazines […]

They Must Be Learning Something at School

Ian: How do you spell we? Claudia: W – E . Ian: No, not that kind of we. Claudia: W – I – I . Me: agape