Archive for the 'Mama We're All Crazee Now' Category
The Goon Squad (The Goon Squad is my five year old twins for those of you who are new around here) and I were discussing Santa and if he was watching you on the day after Christmas.
I thought he was probably taking a break, but maybe he had spies.
Ian said he knew exactly who the spies were.
The elves.
And they watched us through the vents.
Now I am completely paranoid.
All I can think of is Pennywise, Troll, AND a really freaking scary elf just waiting in the duct work.
I’ll never sleep again.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:21 am |
Actually, the weather isn’t that bad anymore, but the streets in my neighborhood are seriously frightful.
And our schools are canceled for the rest of the year.
To be completely fair, the kids really only had two and a half days of school this week anyway, but they were three very important days for Christmas preparedness.
I’m not totally screwed here. We were almost on top of things except for S-T-O-C-K-I-N-G S-T-U-F-F.
Oh crap, my kids can spell now.
We are going a little stir crazy. These things have all happened in the past hour:
1) Ian punched me in the nose trying to hug me.
2) Claudia and I got into an argument about wearing jeans with no underwear. I said it would be uncomfortable she vehemently disagreed.
3) Ian called me into the bathroom because he pooped in the shape of a “C”.
I need to get out of the house.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:04 am |
Dear U.S House of Representatives,
Why must you hate?
Is this because I called you the lower house? I want you to know I didn’t make that up as an insult. They taught me that in school.
And I don’t know what you heard, but what I said was that we should legalize slots.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
7:28 am |
Can anyone explain to me why if my kids are in my car they have to ride in a car seat but on a school bus they don’t require any restraint whatsoever? 
How in 2009 do we have school busses* without seat belts?
And why are we all okay with this?
___
Don’t get me wrong. In the fall I am putting my children on the bus with a wave and a smile. I am just puzzled by this disconnect.
* Spell check tells me that busses is not a word. What is the plural of bus?
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
8:45 am |
Yesterday when the Fed Ex guy rang my doorbell I assumed that it was one of the many things we ordered
for the Goon Squad’s birthday on Tuesday.
But it was a bouquet of flowers.
For me!
And it came without a card.
I asked Gabe if he sent me flowers. He said “No, but I should have.” (I thought that was a pretty good answer) It isn’t from the kids, or my parents or my in-laws.
It is a lovely spring arrangement and I have no idea who to thank.
I would think maybe they delivered it to the wrong place, but my name and address were on the shipping label.
Here are my only theories:
1) I sit on a few advisory boards. Maybe one of them sent the flowers and forgot to take credit.
2) I have done some consulting work for a large organization. About two months ago they asked for my address so that they could send me something. I never got anything. Maybe they sent them.
3) I have a lot of jobs, freelance and otherwise. It is possible that one of the blogs I write for sent them to me. Possibly for mother’s day.
4) I won a contest for a bouquet of flowers and then forgot about it.
5) I have a secret admirer.
_
I am going to guess that #5 is the least likely since I am grumpy, I can’t seem to stop gaining weight and I don’t bathe nearly as often as I would like to. But who knows? Maybe some people like that.
Did you send me flowers?
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:06 am |
