My daughter is asserting that if I make her clean her room she is going to die.
I maintain that nobody has ever died from cleaning their bedroom.
Can you guys back me up on this?
It appears my time has come to abdicate the Drama Queen crown.
Every day my children get dressed. Every day they put their pants on backwards and their shoes on the wrong feet.
On purpose.
About 50% of the time they will also put their shirts on backwards.
Is this some sort of preschool trend I know nothing about?
Is Kris Kross making a comeback?
I was on the phone with Devra today when all of the sudden there was screaming.
Claudia was yelling her head off.
Screaming screaming screaming.
Then they were both screaming.
I practically hung up on Devra and ran into Ian’s bedroom.
Ian met me half way, sobbing.
That usually means he knows he is in trouble. If he was hurt he would have stayed where he was and yelled.
So I assumed Claudia was bleeding or broken or something.
I went into the room and Claudia was clutching her arm.
Oh crap. I thought. Our first broken bone.
But then she yelled “Ian did it!” and I knew there were no real injuries.
“What happened?” I asked.
“It was Claudia!”
“Ian did it!”
Awesome.
“Ian squeezed my arm really tight!”
“Only because Claudia pulled my hair!”
“Because he squeezed my arm!”
So I asked them which happened first.
Ian said “Claudia pulled my hair so I squeezed her arm really tight.”
She hates that.
“So Claudia, you pulled his hair first?” I asked.
“Yes.” she said. “But only because I knew he was going to squeeze my arm.”
My daughter is mean and psychic.
This is going to be a long summer.
If you ask any of the grandparents around here my kids are perfect except:
They should be in swimming lessons.
They should be taking Karate.
Ian should be in speech therapy.
The children need their own computer because I won’t ever let them use mine.*
I should pay more attention to the children. I spend to much time on the computer. (I work from home. About 36 – 40 hours a week. The kids aren’t in school right now. At all.)
Claudia needs to be in ballet.
I should be taking the children to the pool/beach/library/park more.
and also
I should get a (real) job.
and also
I should stay here longer. I should come visit more. I should do a family meet up in August and I should come back to Florida in November. I should join a gym. I should spend less money. I should cook more. I should have taken time off of work when I came to visit.
And I promise – I will get right on top of all of this as soon as I can score some clones that shit money and can figure out how to get the kids to leave the house without fighting about putting on their damn shoes.
* * *
* This one came out of nowhere. The kids do use my computer, which, makes it very difficult for me to get any work done because my job is all on the internet.
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