We All Love Rock N’ Roll

Claudia really wanted the Barbie I Can Be Rock Star Doll Set for her birthday. Thinking that was totally awesome, I ran right out and bought it. I admit, however, to having an ulterior motive. I am going to call them Cherie and Leta and make them form a band with the Joan Jett Barbie […]

When Did Seven Become a Teenager?

THAT IS IT! I AM GOING TO CANCEL THE BIRTHDAY PARTY. I couldn’t do it again this year. We had a big party last year. This year they each have something like 28 children in their classes. If we invited them all that is 56 kids, plus all of the extra kids that come because […]

I Am Your Mother. I Have Proof.

For Mother’s Day my son made me card. It included this lovely acrostic which implies that I am a keeper. This card also came with what I would call a coupon, but my son insists is a credit card, that gets me “one free set the table’. Sweet, right? When dinner time rolled around I […]

The Lies Parents Tell

Growing up I rarely lied to my parents. Sure, every once in a while I would say I was going to the movies and instead I would be drinking beer at a bonfire on The Causeway and sometimes I skipped class and failed to mention it, but I usually just told them things they didn’t […]

The C Word

My kids are packing their bags. They will be spending the night with their grandparents and my mother-in-law (now I know why people write MIL even if they aren’t on twitter. That word is a punctuation and capitalization nightmare) is at our house to pick them up. I can hear the boy chanting under his […]

The Moment I Realized I Use the Word “Disheveled” a Lot

My son is in his car seat doing pretty much everything except buckling in. “What are you doing?” I ask. “Getting sheveled.” he says. * * * Another song that sounds terrible coming out of a six year old’s mouth. “Down to This” by Soul Coughing

I Think I Lost Their School Pictures. Again.

Oh God, I think I lost my kids’ school pictures again. When my twins were two years old we got their very first school pictures from preschool. Both sets came back just adorable. Claudia had on a little pink and red dress and Ian was wearing a green striped sweater that made him look like […]

How I Failed at Parenting Today

A few months ago the Gawker servers were hacked and user logins and passwords were posted on a website somewhere. Mine was one of them and it led to me being locked out of all my cox e-mail accounts. It was a pain, but not really a big deal since I use my g-mail account […]

The Problem With Bunk Beds

Do your kids have bunk beds? If so, I am pretty mad at you right now. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HOW HARD THEY ARE TO PUT SHEETS ON? *deep breath* About six months ago it became very apparent that The Goon Squad was getting too big for their toddler beds. If one stretches out […]

My Children Believe in Reincarnation and also Hogwarts

In an effort to be extra-specially sweet to me on my birthday my son was complimenting me on how I was the best mother he has ever met. My slightly less charming daughter said “Ian, she is the only mother you’ve ever had, so she is also the worst.” “No.” maintained my boy “In other […]

On 38th Birthdays

Tomorrow I turn 38. 38 is an uneventful number. It signifies nothing. I feel neither good not bad about it. I will celebrate by attending not one – but two first grade holiday parties. Usually I spend my classroom holiday party time running back and forth between two classrooms but this year the teachers or […]

You Other Parents of Twins Know Exactly What I’m Talking About

I saw this on Nora’s blog and I knew it also belonged here. You other twin parents will be able to relate. Except you are also probably saying to yourself “Right, like anyone’s waist looks like that after they gave birth to twins.”