Archive for the 'potty humor' Category
The funniest joke I heard all day as told by my four year old neighbor, Todd:
(Laurie and Suebob should stop reading now)
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Diarrhea.
I turned my head as his mother scolded him for that kind of talk at the table because I was laughing and I didn’t want to encourage his behavior. His second joke was “Why did the diarrhea cross the road?”* Then he said – and he said it really loud and we were in a restaurant – “WHAT? YOU DON’T LIKE DIARRHEA?”
I had to hide behind my child so that Todd couldn’t see that I was laughing so hard I was shaking.
I know it is inappropriate lunch conversation. I know that I am a parent and a grown up and it takes a village and I should be throwing him stern glances as his own mother tries to raise him right, but dammit, diarrhea is funny.
Especially when it crosses the road.
(more…)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
3:12 pm |
I was just in the airplane bathroom (no, this is not about poop) when I noticed the lovely wallpaper.
I think my questions are obvious:
1) There is wallpaper in the airplane lavatories? I have to pay $25 per bag and six bucks for a shitty sandwich and United is spending money on wallpapering the restrooms? What the hell?
2) Who is small enough to fit in there and wallpaper the place? Are there children performing this task? Is Twiggy working for the airlines? 
3) Somebody is actually in charge for buying the wallpaper for airplane. Someone gets paid to do this. Weird.
4) Number three wasn’t really a question at all was it?
5) If I weren’t a blogger would I spend significantly less time pondering airplane restrooms? Or would I just bother my husband with this sort of nonsense?
6) Wait – but I am a blogger. Can I write this flight off now that I’ve written this?
7) This is exactly the sort of crap that is preventing me from getting a book deal, isn’t it?
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
3:43 pm |
The hardest part about being a parent – besides the sleep deprivation and all of the crushing responsibility – is keeping a straight face when I say things like “Pu-pu platters are not funny!” or “Nobody wants to see you shaking your butt all day long.” or “That isn’t really called an upper nut.”
Full disclosure: I was not at all able to refrain from laughing at that last one. I think I may have even snorted causing him to say “But Mommy, it’s true. My upper nut hurts.” which crushed me on my insides and made my outsides laugh even harder.
On a related topic, what do you call the area right above a person’s penis? I guess I should have sucked it up and taken anatomy and physiology after all.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
8:52 am |
On Saturday I was on a panel at the Mom 2.0 Summit in Houston. The moderator, Holly Buchanan, asked me how I found funny things to write about all of the time. Of course I am paraphrasing, but I said something along the lines of “Life is funny, and I am easily amused.”
Just to prove my point about my life being funny I got this text message from my husband less than five hours later:
While yes, I would like to take credit for presenting things in a funny way, the truth is that my family is hysterical, my friends are hilarious and I see humor all over the place.
There is actually more about the panel, Why Women are so 2.0, here if you are interested.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
12:10 pm |
* * *
The irony is that neither can read or write very well, but they are already using social media of sorts. They are calling it “Chat Room”. The apples don’t fall very far from the tree.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:03 pm |
