Unless you are purposely going for that bloated look I would recommend not eating an entire bag of cheddar Chex Mix.
All by yourself.
In one sitting.
***
In related news, I may need to get my engagement ring re-sized, but hopefully this is just a temporary situation due to extraordinary salt intake.
***
I seriously feel like I am going to explode.
Don’t try this at home.
If you have metal trivets that look like this
try really hard not to drop them on your toes, especially if you have bare feet. Trust me on this one. That crap hurts.
*whimper*
In related news, four of my toes are purple.
I’ll tell you what really hurts.
Getting cayenne pepper in your eye, that is what causes some pain.
I am not going to knock DayQuil or NyQuil. In fact, I love them both very deeply.
What I am here to tell you is that if you take DayQuil after 5:30 pm don’t expect to be falling asleep any time before about midnight.
Even if you go to bed at 9:00.
Trust me on this one.
Say you are on a road trip and you spend one night in a hotel before driving 600 more miles to your destination.
Make damn sure that you have BOTH children’s bears.
Don’t just look under the bed. Be sure to look between the sheets and the comfortor too.
You are welcome.
(Not doing so may cause crying jags, temper tantrums, five days without a teddy bear, $9.75 in COD costs and the loss of your own blankey as a temporary replacement so that your daughter can sleep.)
