2. Lady Gaga

3. Calculus

4. People who think Keanu Reeves is a good actor

5. What is going on in this picture

6. genital piercings

7. the lure of Scientology

8. Why anyone would want a snake for a pet

9. How my son can play Spyro every day and never get sick of it.

10. WHY THE F IT WON’T STOP SNOWING

9 Reasons I Will Not Be Seeing “New Moon” in the Theater over at MamaPop

(hint, unrealistic looking werewolves is one of them)

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The Salvation Army and their bells are pissing me off. I will not donate a red penny (or penny of any other color for that matter) until they STOP WITH THE BELL RINGING.

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Do you think women will play in the NBA someday? I wrote about it over at BlogHer.

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And finally here are few search terms that have brought people to my fair blog recently

lord what have i done what have i done done

my eye hurts after last night drinking
Those last two may be related.

gang sign for ill be back

if you liek jonathan safran foer you should try
spellcheck?

zoosex confessions

drinking game like big booty
I thought I was the Queen of drinking games. Then I met some friends that went to Yale. Since I’ve never heard of the Big Booty drinking game I’ll consult with the drinking game masters.

Do they serve beer at March Madness?
Sadly, no. Something about NCAA sponsored events… Might I suggest doing what I used to do in High School and get wasted ahead of time?

antipope
Do you mean as in “I am the faggot antipope?“

women wearing shaped diapers
Shaped like what?

They used to call him “The Duke of Herb”.

David Cross is bragging about snorting cocaine near Barack Obama (from MamaPop).

And I am looking for a job.

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If you want to see some crazy mixed with bad grammar you should check out the comments on the post I wrote over at MamaPop when Michael Jackson died.

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Does any one here own a ton of Radiohead music?

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I’m looking for a Luke Skywalker Lego man for the boy. Besides ebay, does anyone know where I can get one without buying the $500 Death Star set? We went to the Lego store and they had no Lukes. Ian was traumatized.

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Only Matthew can be so sweet and so hilariously inappropriate at the same time.

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Cake balloon decorations gone wrong.

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Still funny.

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Have you checked out In Three Words yet? It is a really fun blog. Your comments have to be three words long.

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If you are a fan of women’s sports you shoud be reading Women Talk Sports.

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The Whinery is back. Sweet! An excuse to drink more wine!

On a related note: How would you explain or describe catnip to a four year old?

The last thing I need in the entire world is Cool Ranch Doritos.

Then I thought about it again. While the fact hold that I really don’t need Cool Ranch Doritos, are they the thing I need least in the world?

No.

There are things I need less.

I have no use for (and nowhere to put) any livestock. I wouldn’t know what to do with a helicopter and if someone were to give me one of those fancy Lladro porcelain figurines I would probably just sell it on ebay and either march my new money right over to the Apple Store or send it  to Visa.

There are things I don’t need because I have more than enough already –   like cans of tomato soup or Million Mom March bumper stickers.

I have an entire box of Million Mom March bumper stickers in my laundry room. Don’t ask why, but if you want one (or 50) just send me your address and I will mail them to you.

There are things I don’t need because they are bad. I don’t need to get sick. I don’t need a family tragedy.  I don’t need to lose my job, but those aren’t really things you don’t need as much as horrible things that you don’t want to happen.

I’ve thought about it a lot now and I don’t know what the one thing would be that I need least in this world, but it probably isn’t Cool Ranch Doritos.

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What else? Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson had to eat dog treats on German TV.

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I continue to rage against Kurt Warner.

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My newest internet search and win obsession is Swagbucks. Go sign up and see if you can win something. It has a better search engine than Blingo.

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Criss Angel is single again.

“Green Pea Soup” by Alice Donut

“Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police

“Lolita” by Elefant