October 11, 2008 | I Just Logged On My Internet, Signs of the Apocalypse
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Archive for the 'Signs of the Apocalypse' Category
September 13, 2008 | I Love Beer, Now I've Seen Everything, Signs of the Apocalypse
The Gagging Sounds are Coming from Me
Originally uploaded by Sarah606
In all honesty, while neither is my first choice of beverage, I have no prejudices against Budweiser or Clamato.
It is the thought of the two of them mixed together that makes me wretch.
September 4, 2008 | Signs of the Apocalypse
Holy sweet mother of Jebus I look like I have leg acne.
The mosquitoes are brutal this year.
Brutal I tell you! I would take a picture of how bad my legs looks but 1) I am afraid to shave because I have so many scabs and 2) I can’t find my camera.
This leads me to say something I never thought I would say. Ever.
I can’t wait until it gets cold out.
I know I will regret that the second it starts snowing and I’ll start whining about how I grew up in Florida and how thin my blood is. I will probably also complain that I don’t have any snow boots and sweaters take up way more room in the washing machine forcing me to do twice as many loads of laundry each week. (Which ought to bring my wash total to three hundred loads a week.*)
So yeah, I said it. I am looking forward to fall for one reason only. Less bugs.
Well, and obviously football. And chili. And school starting, and hockey games with Nancy, and it won’t matter if I don’t shave because I will wear long pants every day, and I we won’t have to mow the lawn as often and stew.
Wait a second. Do I like cold? Am I naturalizing into a northerner?
(I realize I was born in Ohio and hence have embraced the “Yankee” label my whole life. And yes, I know Virginia is technically the south, but if I have to get stuck in Beltway traffic four times a week I am claiming my residence as the DC suburbs. Plus, it snows here. )
Or is this just something that happens at the end of ever summer to everybody?
* Not how many loads I actually do, but how many loads of dirty clothes the four of us make in a week.
August 24, 2008 | Signs of the Apocalypse
I have a whole category on this blog dedicated to “Signs of the Apocalypse“. I usually reserve this category for unlikely happenings or things that I can’t explain – like getting up at 5:00 AM to exercise or people following Tori Amos on tour.
(I’ve done some research on the actual Seven Signs of the Apocalypse that were alluded to in The Bible but nobody actually seems to know exactly what they are. Horsemen and pestilence? Famine? Locust?
Wait do locust count as pestilence? Whatever.)
All I am saying is if you think that strange happenings could be signs of the return of Jesus to Earth you might want to go to church because today some things happened that I can’t explain.
1) I volunteered to mow the lawn. Seriously. Gabe was going to mow the lawn and I actually asked if I could do it. Then I mowed the lawn and I didn’t hate it.
2) I heard Queensryche in the grocery store. And it wasn’t “Silent Lucidity” either. It was something off of “Operation : Mindcrime”. Remember when you could only hear Queensryche on Headbangers Ball? Nope. Queensryche at Safeway.
Either it is almost time for The Rapture or I am getting old.
August 9, 2008 | Now I've Seen Everything, Signs of the Apocalypse
I went to a bachelorette party the other night. It was sort of a last minute thing. My husband is in the wedding party and I’ve known the groom for years. The bride and I are friends but we haven’t spent a ton of time together and so I didn’t know anyone at the bachlorette party except for her.
I ended up having a great time. We went to a casino (did you know that if a casino is on a reservation you can only drink at the bar? Not at the machines or tables. That totally messes with your gambling karma when you have to stop and go elsewhere to drink. Also, playing blackjack and drinking coffee just feels wrong.) near Albuquerque for the evening.
Since I didn’t really know anyone the conversation came up of how we all knew the bride. Somebody knew her from high school, the maid of honor has been friends with her since the 4th grade and everybody else knew her from following Tori Amos on tour.
*head explodes*
That’s right. You heard me. They follow Tori Amos on tour. Like how Deadheads follow the Grateful Dead. Except 1) It is Tori Amos, 2) They aren’t dirty hippies, 3) A lot of times they fly from city to city instead of hitchhiking or going in a VW bus 4) They have jobs and 5) Sometimes they only go to one or two shows a year.
Okay, that wasn’t fair to Toriphiles or to Deadheads. I know Deadheads that are clean and have jobs. According to these fans some of the Tori Amos followers don’t have jobs and go to every show on tour.
So, besides not even being aware that this kind of thing existed I was pretty amazed that they had made such lasting friendships standing in line to meet Tori Amos.
I like Tori’s music but it would have never occurred to me to follow her from city to city.
Okay so here is what else I learned about Tori Amos at this bachelorette party:
1) She calls them “Ears With Feet”
2) She plays a different set every single night.
3) Tori Amos fans are not to be trifled with.
And you should have seen those ladies faces when I told them that I was a professional blogger. I think we were equally mortified at the other’s hobbies.
But you know what? They were totally cool and we had a great time. And there is something to be said for friends you make in an unusual way that become a big part of your life.
Honestly, did the rest of you know about this and you just weren’t telling me? Or is it more like Rosicrucians?
Okay EWF people. Don’t send me hate mail. I am not judging you, I am just shocked that this exists. I am no cooler than you are. I am completely aware that I write for like 10 blogs and go to blogging conferences. The irony is not lost on me.
