December 8, 2009 | Parenting, Signs of the Apocalypse, The Blue One, The Goon Squad, The Pink One, kindergarten
Ian: How do you spell we?
Claudia: W – E .
Ian: No, not that kind of we.
Claudia: W – I – I .
Me: agape
Archive for the 'Signs of the Apocalypse' Category
December 5, 2009 | I Have Issues, Music, Parenting, Proof of My Immaturity, Signs of the Apocalypse, Son of a..., Speak Up Sonny. I can't hear you., The Pink One
Yesterday I told Twitter that Claudia loved grindcore.
I wasn’t just making it up either. We were making her a Pandora playlist. She wanted to thumbs up Children of Bodom and Amon Amarth.
When I told Gabe this story he said that those bands weren’t grindcore, maybe death core or black metal, but not grindcore.
At this point in the story I need to back up a few weeks. Gabe and I were having an argument about which one of us was more metal.
In our defense we had just been to three wine tastings, so it wasn’t like we just talk about this all of the time. Well, okay, maybe we do, but in this particular case we had been in Napa all day drinking wine.
We called the children and had a family vote. The vote was ‘Who in this family is the most metal?”
Gabe voted for Gabe.
Ian voted for Ian.
I voted for myself.
Claudia voted for Ian, Claudia and Daddy.
This vote would make Gabe and Ian tied for the most metal and me and the girl who has both Barbies and Polly Pockets on her Christmas list tied for least metal.
I skipped my Sophomore homecoming dance to go to a Sepultura show. I sang on an Iced Earth album. I’ve been to Morbid Angel’s house. I grew up in Tampa! How could I possibly be the least metal person in any family?
But as I found myself reading the wiki for grindcore I kind of wanted to cry because a truly metal person wouldn’t need to google a wiki (which would be a fantastic name for a disco band) to distinguish between grindcore and deathcore. Would they?
And there is nothing metal about crying.
October 11, 2008 | I Just Logged On My Internet, Signs of the Apocalypse
If you can’t read it says FInd Children: Find the widest variety of children on the web. Buy Now!
September 13, 2008 | I Love Beer, Now I've Seen Everything, Signs of the Apocalypse
The Gagging Sounds are Coming from Me
Originally uploaded by Sarah606
In all honesty, while neither is my first choice of beverage, I have no prejudices against Budweiser or Clamato.
It is the thought of the two of them mixed together that makes me wretch.
September 4, 2008 | Signs of the Apocalypse
Holy sweet mother of Jebus I look like I have leg acne.
The mosquitoes are brutal this year.
Brutal I tell you! I would take a picture of how bad my legs looks but 1) I am afraid to shave because I have so many scabs and 2) I can’t find my camera.
This leads me to say something I never thought I would say. Ever.
I can’t wait until it gets cold out.
I know I will regret that the second it starts snowing and I’ll start whining about how I grew up in Florida and how thin my blood is. I will probably also complain that I don’t have any snow boots and sweaters take up way more room in the washing machine forcing me to do twice as many loads of laundry each week. (Which ought to bring my wash total to three hundred loads a week.*)
So yeah, I said it. I am looking forward to fall for one reason only. Less bugs.
Well, and obviously football. And chili. And school starting, and hockey games with Nancy, and it won’t matter if I don’t shave because I will wear long pants every day, and I we won’t have to mow the lawn as often and stew.
Wait a second. Do I like cold? Am I naturalizing into a northerner?
(I realize I was born in Ohio and hence have embraced the “Yankee” label my whole life. And yes, I know Virginia is technically the south, but if I have to get stuck in Beltway traffic four times a week I am claiming my residence as the DC suburbs. Plus, it snows here. )
Or is this just something that happens at the end of ever summer to everybody?
* Not how many loads I actually do, but how many loads of dirty clothes the four of us make in a week.
