Archive for the 'Son of a...' Category
A lot of you are pregnant with your first child or are trying to get pregnant with your first child. If you fall into one of these categories you may want to hold off reading this particular post until your children are teenagers. I’m sure when we all all worried about teen pregnancy and drug use this will sound charming.
***
Ian threw up in my bed last night.
Thrice.
Eventually we were on our last set of clean sheets (I won’t even go into what happened in his bed) and he and I came out to the living room and slept on the floor.
I gave up got creative and gave him a bowl to throw up in when it became evident that he wasn’t ever going to make it to the bathroom in time.
To make a long and messy story short, I got about three nonconsecutive hours of sleep last night and odds are pretty good that this whole house smells like puke.
Here comes the strange part. It makes me a little bit nostalgic. Ian had reflux when he was a baby. I forgot that for eight months is was standard procedure to wash my sheets every single day because there was a 99.9% chance that he would ralph in my bed.
As I was throwing a load of soiled bedding into my washing machine in a sleep deprived haze I think I actually smiled.
Last night sucked but it was way easier than having infant twins. Sorry Nora. You will never hear me saying that I want to revisit that time in my life. Having a baby with colic and another baby with reflux was maddening, yet somehow we lived through it and now we have these amazing little people that only vomit when they are sick and only scream all night if I really piss them off. Plus, even though it was a huge pain in the ass, twin babies are very cute and at some point (I don’t remember exactly when it was, but I assure you it was after six weeks and before one year) they were even kind of fun, and at some much later point they started sleeping through the night.
So yeah, being puked on sucks but he also still cuddles up with me when he doesn’t feel well and that won’t last forever either and so for now I am willing to take the trade-off.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:04 pm |
*clears throat*
Listen here, Hanna because I have a couple of things I would like to say to you.
1) I didn’t leave sunny Florida and learn how to drive in snow to live through hurricanes. I live HOURS from the beach. Hurricanes are unacceptable.
2) Enough with the power flashing on and off. I am sick to death with starting all of my posts over and over. This is also very pesky when it comes to all of the e-mails I have to send for my preschool job (why did I agree to be on the board again?). I have enough stress today without having to reboot my computer and reset every clock in the house once an hour.
3) My satellite is out.
This is where I really take offense. Do you know that the UCF v USF game is on at 7:00? Do you know I told all of my USF and UCF friends in the area to come over and watch my college get pummeled by Gabe’s college tonight? This will be a very boring football game if there are six of us gathered around my monitor watching the live scoreboard on CBS Sportsline for three hours.
So listen up Hanna (If that is even your real name. What kind of storm spells Hannah without the “h” on the end anyway?) cut it out, hurry up and blow by.
And while you are at it stop flooding the road between my house and the beer store.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
3:04 pm |
Guess what I did first thing this morning?
You’ll never guess in a bazillion years. Well, maybe in a bazillion, but I doubt if you would guess any time soon so I will just tell you.
I was standing in front of my closet perplexed. I went shopping on Sunday and I could have sworn I bought a red shirt at Ann Taylor. (Don’t get me started, Ann Taylor pisses me off but I like their clothes. I wish I didn’t. I hate stores that have petite sections and not tall sections. I think it is heightist.) I looked through my closet five times before I realized that I didn’t remember putting it away.
I knew what I had done. Son of a bitch. I threw it away with the bag. Today is trash day.
At 7:40 this morning I was out at the end of my driveway retrieving a $40 shirt with tags still on it out of my garbage can.*
I wonder what my neighbors will have to say about this one?
* No, I didn’t wear it.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
3:34 pm |
No offense to Georgetown. I mean – I was born in Ohio, but that isn’t really the problem. The problem is that I am going on a 627 mile road trip tomorrow. It is going to be just the kids and me. We’re going to take two days to make the trek to Atlanta. (Sorry Nonny, if I don’t tell them we’re going to Atlanta this post makes no sense.)
I just realized that the Final Four is in Atlanta.
Here is my concern. If Georgetown wins, there is a good chance that Ian, Claudia, me and 15,000 crazed Hoyas will be driving from D.C. to Atlanta. There will be traffic and State Troopers every 10 miles trying to cash in on the speeders.
So, you can see my interest in Ohio State winning the game. I mean – a big part of my plan to get through a road trip like this with two year old twins was driving really, really fast. How am I going to do that with all of those other people in my way?
Help me out here. Please, root against Georgetown.
GO BUCKEYES!
(Don’t be jerks. I said please.)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
11:09 pm |
A PSA from SATGS: Don’t leave your children unattended with crayons.
You may already have known this. I should have known this. That will teach me to try to do dishes.
When I asked Ian why he colored on my wall (and the hardwood floor and his play kitchen) he very casually said:
“Don’t worry about it.”
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:47 pm |
