Archive for the 'Son of a...' Category

Do you want to know what sucks worse than spilling a beer in your lap?
Spilling a good expensive beer in your lap.
Spilling a good dark expensive beer in your lap.
Spilling your last dark expensive beer in your lap.
Do you want to know what sucks worse than spilling your last dark expensive special holiday beer in your lap?
Spilling your last dark expensive special holiday beer in your lap in your nicest chair.
While your husband is watching.
And laughing at you.
Do you want to know what sucks worse than spilling your last dark expensive special holiday beer in your lap in your nicest chair while your husband is watching and laughing at you?
Spilling a really full, really cold last dark expensive special holiday beer in your lap in your nicest chair while your husband is watching and laughing at you.
Oh, and it is even worse if by chance you are wearing a very absorbent pantiliner.
Do you want to know what is good about having a broken camera?
(I guess that question answers itself, doesn’t it?)
Posted by Sarah @
7:44 pm |

Let’s be honest. Really he just woke Ian up.
Okay, and while we’re telling the truth he woke them up by calling my house.
And right. It was actually a recording of John McCain.
He wanted me to vote Republican on Tuesday.
Listen here Johnny. If I wanted to re-elect a racist Senator I’d move to West Virginia or Tennessee.
Maybe that was uncalled for. But still, I hope that during the next election they stop letting them call my house. It’s driving me crazy. Can I get on some sort of no political call list? Do they really think that I will be swayed by a recording that bothers me after my kids go to sleep? Or during dinner? Do they really think I am going to stand there and listen to their whole spiel?
Grrrrr.
Is it almost over?
Don’t get me wrong. I am glad I get to vote. In fact I am taking the kids with me this year 1) because I want them to see the process and 2) I have no babysitter. I am just ready to be done with the insanity of this election.
That being said, I heard a political commentator on the radio the other day mention that at 12:01 on November 8th the 2008 Presidential Election begins. I’m guessing this is the part where living near DC gets really annoying. I hope the traffic gets worse! (That was sarcasm. It’s hard to type sarcasm.) I’d better go buy some more advil.
(I found this picture on a site called American Dinosaur. It cracked me up.)
*** Updated - My phone just rang and I had to rush out of the bathroom to get the phone. It was Laura Bush. That’s right. You heard me. Laura Bush just got me off of the toilet. I only got up because I thought it might have been Gabe or Lumpyhead’s Mom. Not even close. Stupid First ladies always bugging me when I’m in the bathroom. (Shut up, it’s not crass. I keep telling the kids that everybody poops.) Son of a…
Posted by Sarah @
1:33 pm |

Oh. My. Dad. (I really don’t expect anyone except Gabe to get that so just move on.)
I’ve got the stupid theme song to the stupid “Higglytown Heroes” stuck in my head.
Please, give me something else to sing.
Posted by Sarah @
2:36 pm |

Those thieving bitches over at Bitacle have now stolen my stuff too (if you are reading this on Bitacle, please stop supporting them now.)
I felt bad for the bloggers that this was happening to, but I figured I wasn’t cool enough to be on their radar. Apparently I was mistaken. I am much cooler than I suspected.

While we are on the subject of stealing, I totally stole this picture from the Sierra Nevada website. I figured they wouldn’t mind too much because I just ripped it off so that I could tell you that I just bought a six pack of it and it is damn tasty.
This is a non-paid, non-solicited advertisement. I just love beer.
While we are on the subject of solicited advertisements, my new buddy Charlie (yes, THE Charlie, the one who was giving bloggers free portable DVD players a while back) sent us a package of Reynolds Fun Shapes.
The kit I got also came with a disposable camera so that we could participate in a photo contest that they are running.
The kit was adorable. They sent stars, hearts and little ghost shapes for Halloween.
I took the Goon Squad out to the store and we bought a brownie mix to use then we came home and started the project.
Here is what I learned:
1) Two year olds are a little young for baking.
2) My kids LOVE to take pictures with disposable cameras.
3) I love brownies.
Okay, technically I already knew I loved brownies. I didn’t get any good pictures because I was usurped as photographer, but the brownies themselves were very cute and delicious. I think these would be really fun if your kids were a little bit older, but mine didn’t seem to get it.
Then again my kids aren’t always the best barometer for what is normal. Today Claudia told me she had a problem and when I asked what her problem was she said “dancing” and then she did a little dance.
I don’t get it either.
Posted by Sarah @
10:37 pm |

I just went out to get the newspaper and I stepped on a dead bird in my driveway.
It squeaked a little bit like a cat toy, but nope - dead bird.
Ew.
I just thought I’d share that with you guys. There is a dead bird in my driveway. It is little and cute and blue and it is no more. I hope I don’t get the bird flu.
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Posted by Sarah @
12:04 pm |