For some reason completely out of my realm of understanding my children (especially the boy) has started replacing his “f” sounds with the “th” sound.
They usually only do this when it is the last sound in a word, so stuff becomes stuth, or enough becomes enuth.
It is almost some sort of reversed cockney, but I honestly don’t believe that my five year olds are clever enough to invent their own dialec
t.
I don’t think they even know what a dialect is. I’m almost certain that they don’t know what Cockney sounds like.
I sort of want to ask their kindergarten teachers if the other kids are doing this too but I don’t want to sound like a lunatic.
I also don’t want to be one of those parents that pester the teachers. I’m sure we will have issues that require me to contact them for a better reason than this.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:11 pm |
This came home from school in Ian’s backpack this week.
I’ve been laughing about it for three days.
Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
He swears it says Jack.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:59 pm |
I’m not exactly sure how it all came about but somehow Devra and I had gotten to talking about hats with horns and I said I wanted a hat with red horns and ear flaps.
Then I forgot all about it until Monday.
On Monday my doorbell rang and it was the UPS guy with a package. The package contained this:
The awesomest hat that ever was.
It has red horns and ear flaps and it is fleece on the inside. The strings that come down on the sides have pointy triangles at the ends so they look like devil tails.
I love this hat.
Sure I look like a maniac when I wear it in public, but this way nobody ever bothers me.
There is just one problem.
My son is terrified of this hat.
I blame the puppet devil.
I honestly don’t know how the son of an Atheist mother comes to fear the devil so much. I have always thought that a huge part of the problem with organized religion was that some of it is so scary - you know, like smiting and plagues and eternal hellfire and whatnot.
But Ian is scared of the devil and he doesn’t want me to wear my hat at all.
Clearly, I just wear it when he is not around, but I feel bad for him.
I tried to explain that it was just Mommy in a hat with horns, I was not the puppet devil or any devil for that matter but it didn’t really make him feel any better.
It isn’t just this either. The other day he was crying because I was singing “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” and somehow he translated that into me saying the sun was going to blow up and so he couldn’t sleep.
We try to tell Ian not to worry about stuff like this. I assume if the sun exploded we would probably all die so quickly that it wouldn’t matter, but I tell him that if the sun was going to explode the scientists would already know about it and they are watching it and it isn’t going to explode any time soon, plus it is a huge ball of burning gasses already and so it couldn’t possible explode.
I have no idea what is actually true. I just don’t want him to be afraid anymore.
How do you quell irrational fears in a five year old? Hell, how do I stop the rational ones?
I’m still going to wear my hat, just not in front of my son.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:23 am |
The Goon Squad (The Goon Squad is my five year old twins for those of you who are new around here) and I were discussing Santa and if he was watching you on the day after Christmas.
I thought he was probably taking a break, but maybe he had spies.
Ian said he knew exactly who the spies were.
The elves.
And they watched us through the vents.
Now I am completely paranoid.
All I can think of is Pennywise, Troll, AND a really freaking scary elf just waiting in the duct work.
I’ll never sleep again.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:21 am |
Actually, the weather isn’t that bad anymore, but the streets in my neighborhood are seriously frightful.
And our schools are canceled for the rest of the year.
To be completely fair, the kids really only had two and a half days of school this week anyway, but they were three very important days for Christmas preparedness.
I’m not totally screwed here. We were almost on top of things except for S-T-O-C-K-I-N-G S-T-U-F-F.
Oh crap, my kids can spell now.
We are going a little stir crazy. These things have all happened in the past hour:
1) Ian punched me in the nose trying to hug me.
2) Claudia and I got into an argument about wearing jeans with no underwear. I said it would be uncomfortable she vehemently disagreed.
3) Ian called me into the bathroom because he pooped in the shape of a “C”.
I need to get out of the house.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:04 am |
