Really? Out of anywhere in the entire house you choose to sit here?
Hi, my name is Sarah and I photoshop stains out of pictures of my carpet. I never thought this is how I would spend my time as an adult.
Today is my cats’ birthday. Yes, both of them. Klaus and Sid were my practice twins. They are eight today.
On a related note: How would you explain or describe catnip to a four year old?
Originally uploaded by Sarah606
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Psst. There is still time to enter my Father’s Day contest.
Me: Okay. I’m getting in the shower if anybody needs me.
Silence.
Me: Did you hear me? I will be in the shower if anyone needs anything.
Goon Squad: (not even looking up) Uh huh.
No more than two minutes later I hear running in the hall.
Claudia: Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?!
Me: I’M IN THE SHOWER!
Claudia: (Comes into the bathroom and trows open the shower curtain letting in a lot of cold air) Mommy! Mommy! It’s the greatest thing ever! Come see!
Me: I’m in the shower. What it it?
Claudia: It is the greatest thing ever! I’ll give you a hint. It goes in the potty and it isn’t yellow.
Me: What could it be?
Claudia: I pooped in the potty! You’ve got to come see it.
Me: Okay, when I get out of the shower I’ll come see your poop.
Claudia: Ok! (runs away)
42 seconds later I hear running in the hall and the bathroom door opens again.
Claudia: Mommy, when are you going to come look at my poop?
Me: I am in the shower. I am washing my hair.
Claudia: Can I see?
Shower curtain opens again, letting in more cold air.
Claudia: Oh. good job Mom.
Me: Thanks.
Claudia: How much longer will you be in the shower.
Me: 4 minutes.
One minute later the bathroom door opens again.
Sid: Meow. Meow. MEOW!
(You have got to be fucking kidding me)
Me: Sid, I am in the shower.
Small grey head pop inside the shower curtain letting in cold air.
Sid: Meow. Meow. meow.
Me: Let me guess. There is something brown in your litter box that I have to come see.
Claudia: (reappearing) Mommy! I see a kitty! What is Sid doing in the shower?
Me: I have no idea. Can I just shower in peace?
Curtain
Do you need some more proof that truth is stranger than fiction?
This morning I went into my bathroom to put in my contacts. My cat, Sid jumped up on the counter. I yelled at him to get down. I was afraid that some of his fur would get on my contacts and get in my eye.
Boy was I worried about the wrong thing.
As I was poised to put in my left contact, he jumped back up on to the counter and rubbed up on my elbow. (Now, this has happened before and I ended up poking myself in the eye, and while that totally sucks, this was something that isn’t that predictable.)
He rubbed up on my elbow and my contact fell off my finger onto his back.
I screamed “Sid! No!” and he ran away.
With my contact stuck to his back.
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I swear this story is 100% true and not at all exaggerated. My contact is still missing and it has been hours.
The silver lining is that I am now wearing a fresh pair and I can see a lot better than I could yesterday.
