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Goon Squad Will Make You Jump, Jump

June 26, 2009 | Parenting, The Goon Squad, The Unexplained

Every day my children get dressed. Every day they put their pants on backwards and their shoes on the wrong feet.

On purpose.

About 50% of the time they will also put their shirts on backwards.

Is this some sort of preschool trend I know nothing about?

Is Kris Kross making a comeback?

KrissKross-totally

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 11:17 am | 13 Comments  

Preemptive Paybacks Are Hell

June 25, 2009 | Parenting, The Goon Squad

I was on the phone with Devra today when all of the sudden there was screaming.

Claudia was yelling her head off.

Screaming screaming screaming.

Then they were both screaming.

I practically hung up on Devra and ran into Ian’s bedroom.

Ian met me half way, sobbing.

That usually means he knows he is in trouble. If he was hurt he would have stayed where he was and yelled.

So I assumed Claudia was bleeding or broken or something.

I went into the room and Claudia was clutching her arm.

Oh crap. I thought. Our first broken bone.

But then she yelled “Ian did it!” and I knew there were no real injuries.

“What happened?” I asked.

“It was Claudia!”

“Ian did it!”

Awesome.

“Ian squeezed my arm really tight!”

“Only because Claudia pulled my hair!”

“Because he squeezed my arm!”

So I asked them which happened first.

Ian said “Claudia pulled my hair so I squeezed her arm really tight.”

She hates that.

“So Claudia, you pulled his hair first?” I asked.

“Yes.” she said. “But only because I knew he was going to squeeze my arm.”

My daughter is mean and psychic.

This is going to be a long summer.

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 12:36 pm | 10 Comments  

Why?

June 3, 2009 | Now I've Seen Everything, Parenting, The Goon Squad, The Pink One, The Unexplained



?

Originally uploaded by Sarah606


Why are you guys on my bathroom floor?

In costumes?

With a microscope?

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 4:45 pm | 9 Comments  

Overheard

May 29, 2009 | Parenting, The Goon Squad

Just when I decided another day was going to go by with nothing new to write about. Just when I decided that I was either going to post a the picture my husband took in Chinatown of a 5 lb. bucket of duck sauce that he was found sitting near some cat carriers (oh how I wish he said it was a lie, but no) or the picture I took at the craft store of black hearts with pink skulls in them stickers (Claudia and I thought they were cool, Ian said they were stupid) I overheard this conversation between my children.

“It is sort of like a satellite for his penis.”

“Yeah. I think you are right.”

I think I am going to have to rewind this episode of “Special Agent Oso” again because I definitely missed the part about the penis satellite.

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 2:31 pm | 11 Comments  

I’m a little Verklempt.

May 12, 2009 | Parenting, The Goon Squad, Twin Stuff

Five years ago, on this very day, the doctor pulled two people out of me.

2_Sleeping_Misfits

They were born almost six weeks early. Ian was only six pounds, eight ounces but next to Claudia he looked huge. She wasn’t even five pounds when she was born. She was so tiny I was afraid to change her diaper. I thought I might break her frail little leg. This picture was taken much closer to their due date.

Growing up, I always thought it was weird when my mom would talk about what she was going X-number of years ago the night before my birthday.

But now I get it.

For example, five years ago, right this minute, I was getting a mag wash to stop the labor.

Obviously, it didn’t work.

It was one of the scariest days of my entire life.

But everything turned out okay. We got lucky, after a very scary week everyone came home healthy.

And now they are ready to go to kindergarten.

She Wore Socks on Her Hands to Get the Car Inspected

And to my friends that are pregnant for the first time, I know it is scary, but it was worth all of it. It was worth spending six weeks in the hospital. It was worth not sleeping for a few months. It is worth the stretch marks.

And hopefully their joy will make it worth throwing a birthday party this weekend where we invited every kid in both of their classes.

((shudder))

(more…)

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 7:02 am | 54 Comments  
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