Archive for the 'The Goon Squad' Category
I was driving my five year old twins and my nine year old neighbor to Tae Kwon Do today. They were talking about “Jackmania” which is the imaginary kingdom of next door so I was pretty much ignoring them when the conversation took a turn that made my ears perk up.
“Hey Ian!” said the older boy. “You know how squirrels eat nuts?”
Because I think like a nine year old boy I could see where this was going a mile away.
He continued “Ahhh! Squirrels are after my nuts! They are in my pants!”
Ian laughed, but he was clueless and the older kid knew it.
“Get it? Because I have nuts in my pants!”
Ian asked “Why do you have nuts in your pants?”
“Because your nut is your penis!” neighbor boy replied.
I had a conundrum. Your nuts are not your penis and I know this. I don’t want my kids to go around with bad information or making jokes that don’t make sense. On the other hand, I don’t really want to talk about scrotums with a random 3rd grader. I am friends with his parents, but I don’t really talk to them about testicles that often so I don’t know how they would feel about me giving their children lessons about anatomy and slang.
I am not a patient woman, but I bode my time. I was a relatively mature adult and I waited until we got home and I was alone with my children.
“Listen guys,” I said “Remember when Jack said that your nut was your penis? That isn’t exactly true.”
I said penis. I had their attention.
“Your nuts are really your scrotum,”
*blank looks*
“your testicles”
*blank looks*
“the thing under your penis. You know what I am talking about?”
Claudia said yes and walked away.
Ian said “Under my penis?”
I was always under the impression that boys were obsessed with their balls, but here is my son, almost six years old and he forgot that there was something under his penis.
I said “Yeah, the thing under your penis.”
Then I actually said “Put your hand in your pants and feel under your penis.”
He figured it out. I am an excellent mother.
So far there has been no further discussion of the nuts, but I have a feeling that this is nowhere near over.
And oddly, I feel like I did the right thing.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
7:04 pm |
The following is an incomplete list of things that my husband and I have had to ask our children to stop saying in the past month or so due to either repetition or content.
1) “fancy getup”
Wylie Dufrense
2) Wylie Dufrense
3) “a-s-s”
He was just spelling it over and over. I have no idea why. I mean, I know why, I just don’t know why he wouldn’t stop. We also had to ask him to stop signing it.
4) Obi-Wan Kenobi
5) diarrhea
[photo]
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
3:33 am |
I don’t think I told you about it here but I’ve been doing Hooked on Phonics with The Goon Squad.
Since they started Kindergarten I have been sort of neglectful. Their teacher have been doing a great job and they have both been making huge leaps in reading and writing.
Since the weather gods have clearly decided that my children are to be home schooled this month I decided to pull out the HOP box and see how much progress the twins have make in Kindergarten.
It turns out that they are reading really well. They have got the three letter words down pat and they are getting better with sight words (you know, she, what, is, the, etc.) and they are even doing well with the stories.
Then the little book threw us a curve ball.
Or should I say passed us a curve ball?
The sentence was “Tim can pass.”
Ian got the “Tim” and he got the “can’” and then he got stuck.
I said “Sound it out.”
“Paws? Paz? Pahs?”
Against my better judgment I did what I knew would help him.
“What sound does A-S-S make?”
*blank stare*
“What word have I been telling you that you weren’t allowed to spell anymore all week?”
“ASS! PASS!”
He read the word, followed by hysterical laughter and saying the word ass over and over and over until I threatened him with a nap.
And there you have it. The mother of the year award, bring it to me.
Oh yeah, that is his thumb.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
11:40 am |
My neighbor was picking up her daughter who was over here playing with Claudia when she told me that she was watching a power point presentation at work and there was a picture of me in it.
Strange? Yes, until the guy giving the presentation told her it was a picture from the BlogHer conference last summer.
You know what is even stranger than that?
While we were having that conversation our children were making robots and snowmen out of paper and drawing butts on them.
Ian calls this work Snowman with a Booty.
Front
(left)
Back
(right)
Classy.
(all over)
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:09 pm |
For some reason completely out of my realm of understanding my children (especially the boy) has started replacing his “f” sounds with the “th” sound.
They usually only do this when it is the last sound in a word, so stuff becomes stuth, or enough becomes enuth.
It is almost some sort of reversed cockney, but I honestly don’t believe that my five year olds are clever enough to invent their own dialec
t.
I don’t think they even know what a dialect is. I’m almost certain that they don’t know what Cockney sounds like.
I sort of want to ask their kindergarten teachers if the other kids are doing this too but I don’t want to sound like a lunatic.
I also don’t want to be one of those parents that pester the teachers. I’m sure we will have issues that require me to contact them for a better reason than this.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:11 pm |
