August 25, 2008 | Uncategorized

At the Orioles Game 8-25-08

Originally uploaded by Sarah606

August 12, 2008 | Uncategorized

August 11, 2008 | Uncategorized

Before we had children my husband and I used to travel quite a bit. We didn’t do much international travel but we were probably out of town for at least one weekend a month. Sometimes more.

I remember one year when we had six separate weddings to attend, all in different cities. That was a hell of a year.

Then the kids were born and most of our friends that were in committed relationships were already married. I don’t think I need to take a lot of time to explain how difficult it is to fly with two infants. Or two toddlers. It is much easier and cheaper just to miss the fun stuff unless you can drive.

Now the kids are too old to fly for free and airline customer service is at an all time pinnacle of suckitude.

Did I mention I am in an airport right now? I just heard an announcement at the Continental gate about how they had a full flight and there were families with young children that weren’t seated together so if you were in a row with one of them please offer to switch or “you will end up babysitting”.

What the hell? I understand her point, but don’t you guys remember when the AIRLINE used to seat families together just in general?  I was telling somebody the other day that six hours of driving with the kids stress equals one trip through airport security with The Goon Squad. I’m not kidding either. And that doesn’t even include the bullshit trying to get seats together. If there is anywhere I have to go with the children that involves a drive that is 13 hours or less my ass is driving. It is much cheaper and better for the environment.

But that isn’t why I do it. I do it because (with a few unusual exceptions) I have grown to hate the entire airline industry. Especially Spirit Airlines. I hate them the most.

Anyway, this summer I have found myself in airports quite a bit. Fortunately without my children. This weekend we went to a wedding where the kids weren’t invited (and it was in New Mexico - and that is pretty far away from D.C.) so we flew.

Which leads me to the part of my story where I tell you that I am currently sitting in the Albuquerque Airport.

And I have been here for a while.

And I will be here for a while.

Because United Airlines doesn’t have a crew. My ass got up at 5:00 am so that we could return the rental car and get through security in time for a 7:45 flight that is now delayed until 9:45. Because the crew isn’t legal.

I can only assume this means that they got in late (it may be against United Airlines Company policy to take off on time) and not that they just crossed over from regular Mexico and so they haven’t slept long enough to charge me $4 for a can of coke.

Wow. Am I disgruntled today or what?

Either way, the whole thing pisses me off. Now we don’t get to spend this afternoon with the kids. By the time we get home it will be dinner time. I could have slept another two hours bring my total up to a whopping six and a half hours of sleep and this airport is boring.

I understand that the airline industry is in trouble. I understand that they can’t afford to have a back up crew ready to go anymore, but it isn’t as if my ticket was $59 each way, this is no discount airline. Our tickets cost over $400 each. And we had to pay an extra $44 per seat to get extra leg room. My husband is 6′ 4″ he should get that for free on a four hour flight. What I don’t understand is how they expect to get out of financial trouble by nickel and diming us to death and offering shittier service to boot. On our flight here they couldn’t even seat us together and I’ve had these tickets for four months.

Did I mention that for my flight back from BlogHer I was charged to check one single bag? $25 for something I could have fit in carry on. Wouldn’t you think they would want to encourage us to check luggage instead of that crazy fight and backup that occurs when 200 business travelers all try to carry on crap that is too big to fit in the overhead compartments?

Screw you United.

Screw you all airlines.

Next time I’m driving. I’ll probably get there faster anyway.

August 4, 2008 | Uncategorized

As you may or may not know I dropped my camera at BlogHer and I am now in desperate need of a new one.

You see, I’m going to a wedding this weekend. This guy’s wedding.

I can only imagine that there will be plenty of photo opportunities that I would hate to miss.

I’m thinking about getting the Canon G9. Do any of you have one of these? Do you love it? Hate it? Have a better idea? Have a camera that I can borrow?

August 2, 2008 | Uncategorized

I just scored a seat to one of the most exclusive events I can think of.

Tomorrow morning at 7:30 am I will be present for the induction of Lumpyhead’s Mom. Nope, she isn’t getting any cool awards - that would be an induction. Just a baby.

I GET TO BE THERE WHEN THE NEW BABY IS BORN!

I am so psyched! Due to fact that LHM’s mom won’t be able to be here that early in the morning I scored the coveted 5th (Well, 6th if you count LHM, 7th if you count the new baby, 8th if you count the doctor, 11th if you count the nursing staff…) spot.

Fine, maybe it isn’t the most exclusive event in DC, but you aren’t going.

Obviously I was there when my own children were born, but I was kind of out of it from the spinal block. And the lack of sleep. And the severe blood loss. I remember very little of that day. All I know is that I said some very bad words to the anesthesiologist and that I had two babies and one blood transfusion that day.

The only other birth I have witnessed was when this guy was born. NO! Not David Lee Roth. Scroll down you lazy person. I’m only 35 years old!

No matter what I am honored that Lumpyhead’s Mom and Bump are letting me be there for the birth of their third child. Especially since we met on the internet.

Wait a second. Is that weird?

It doesn’t matter. I am still telling people we met at the Creed fanclub meetings.

So anyway, go wish her (and Bump) good luck. They will need it because everyone knows that going from two kids to three kids means changing from man to zone defense.

(This is what we will looks like once again after this baby is born. It has been a while sinced we’ve been able to drink together. Pictured here with Aunt Bob who will also be 1 or the 5, or 11…)

July 23, 2008 | BlogHer, Uncategorized

This happens to me every year after BlogHer. I’ve got nothing. It isn’t that I’m burnt out… it is just that I already said all of the things that I have to say. I just said them to you guys in person.

Plus I can’t seem to readjust to Eastern Standard Time.

I suppose I should do my Road Trip/BlogHer recap but I am still unable to organize my thoughts properly. I guess after 14 states in six days, trying to hang out with 1000 of my closest internet friends and then eating a $500 meal at The French Laundry I don’t feel too bad about not being able to focus.

Let me just give you a few highlights of my BlogHer experience.

- I broke my camera on the first night in San Francisco. That’s right. You heard me. I dropped it on the floor at the SV Moms Group party. The next morning at breakfast I tweeted my dismay. Not having a camera at BlogHer is like not having beer at a football game. Unacceptable. About five minutes later the lovely Moosh in Indy walked up to me and said “I have an extra camera if you want to borrow it.” So thanks Casey and thanks twitter. Seriously, who is that nice?

- Sitting in the “Naked Blogging” panel discussion I accidentally tripped a guy (trying to get out of his way) and then Angela (trying to help him not fall) grabbed his upper thigh. I hope we didn’t scare him off from attending future BlogHer sessions. I swear we didn’t plan it ahead of time.

- As I was missing my MamaPop deadline - well, as I would have been missing my MamaPop deadline had I been in my normal time zone - I ran into one of my bosses in the airport. It turned out that Amy and I were on the same flight. So, as embarrassing as it is to actually be face to face with the person you are currently supposed to be writing a post for, all is forgiven when you are on the same delayed flight.

- If you are in the BlogHer internet cafe and working on your post for BlogHer there is no need for a thesaurus. You can just yell out “I need another word for exaggeration” and the four closest people all have really good answers.

So what have I learned? My BlogHer friends are just as cool in real life as they are online and seriously - try not to miss deadlines when you are in the same building as your editor.

Oh, and don’t drop your camera on the floor.

July 16, 2008 | Uncategorized

Would You Wear This Shi(r)t?

Originally uploaded by Sarah606

Seriously? This t-shirt had cat buttholes on it.

And the cats are wearing cowboy boots.

Look, I like cats. I HAVE two cats but you could not pay me enough money to wear a shirt which depicts cat assholes.

Discuss.

July 14, 2008 | Uncategorized

I am Converting

Originally uploaded by Sarah606

I am totally converting as soon as I get home.

July 13, 2008 | Mom Road Trip, Uncategorized

Dear Readers,

Please do not be alarmed by my lack of posting. I’ve had a busy week. In fact, just yesterday I was in Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, West Virginia again, Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois.

I’ve been kind of busy over on the Mom Road Trip site.

(If you haven’t been over there yet I am with Devra and Meagan and we are currently headed toward San Francisco to go to the BlogHer conference.)

Speaking of which… do you want to see me on the news?

Do you want to see me on the news trying to squeeze my ass into a pair of size 8 jeans?

I knew you did. Here it is.

Now, I will try not to neglect you but I can’t guarantee anything. I don’t even know if I will even be able to access the internet the entire time.

Love,

Sarah

June 28, 2008 | Uncategorized

This One Kills Me

Originally uploaded by Sarah606

This picture exhibites several reasons why I am a terrible mother.

1) I let my son play in a public fountain in his underpants.

2) It cracks me up that it looks like he is peeing.

3) I posted this picture on the internet.