The Fox and the Sarah

If you were a fox wouldn’t you want to be as far away from an elementary school bus stop as possible? Please understand that I am talking about the actual animal, not an attractive person from the ’80s, although in either case the sentence still works.

Get Out of the Street!

I have this totally stupid thing that has been bugging me. The new moms at my bus stop stand in the street. I know it sounds silly, and I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but what kind of example is that? How am I supposed to teach my kids to stay out of […]

Non Sequitur

The funniest joke I heard all day as told by my four year old neighbor, Todd: (Laurie and Suebob should stop reading now) Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Diarrhea. I turned my head as his mother scolded him for that kind of talk at the table because I was laughing and […]

Sarah Elsewhere

Why I am going to art school. Why I am offended by the iPhone commercial. A picture I took on a walk in my classy neighborhood. ————> Why the Cincinnati Bengals pissed me off. For $11.5 million, I will sell you two of my toes. Now I am off to prepare for a birthday party […]

Need a Pull?

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my front yard in a gigantic cardboard box. Backstory: yesterday morning we bought a shed. It is the kind that you put together, kind of like Legos for grownups except it requires hammers to assemble and is more utilitarian. It came in two huge boxes. Really big boxes. One […]

I Googled You

“I have to tell you” she said. “I googled you and I found your blog.” If you want to know what stops my heart it is a mom in Ian’s class telling me that she read my blog. I don’t keep it a secret. I am not anonymous. I am mostly pretty proud of my […]

The Devil Wears a Green Sash

With three minutes to go in the third period of the Olympic gold medal men’s hockey game between Canada and the U.S.A. yesterday my doorbell rang. The game was 2 – 1 Canada at the time and it was so exciting that my husband and I were actually both standing in front of the television. […]

Snowpocalypse Now

Yesterday my husband came in from shoveling and knocking huge icicles off of our roof. Him: I just talked to all of our neighbors. Me: Really, what is everybody doing out there Him: Janet is cursing in her driveway. Me: That sounds pretty good. Maybe I’ll go out too. Him: Well, she was shoveling. You […]

You Want to Hear Something Totally Crazy?

My across the street neighbors decided to go away for a couple of days and I was talking to the lady that lives there about feeding their cat. It was one of those conversations that should have taken two minutes and we both ended up standing in my driveway talking about life for 45 minutes […]

Funniest Text in a Long Time

From my new neighbor:

Back Door Friend

I’ve been known to drink a beer or two (or eight) every now and then.* I love beer and I love wine. I even love some mixed drinks, but they don’t so much love me. This is not my point. What I was going to say is that I come by it honestly. My mother’s […]

It Was Cliché, but it Looked Shady

Mistake #1: I was trying to bake egg-less brownies from scratch. Mistake #2: I never looked to see if I had sugar. It turned out I did have sugar. I just didn’t have two cups of it. So I did what you do. I called my neighbor. “Hi. It’s Sarah. Can I borrow a cup […]