Why Sledding Blows


We drive to the hill.

My car almost gets stuck in the snow.

There is this hill by our neighborhood pool. At the top of the hill there are tennis courts. At the bottom of the hill is the parking lot. This hill must be 45 feet wide and 15 feet up. There are stairs leading up to the tennis court area on the left.

I take one picture. This one.

Ian takes his first run down the hill he immediately flips over and hits his head on the stairs.

Did I mention this hill is about 45 feet wide?

Claudia is next. She goes for it. She is doing well until she hits the ice ramp at the bottom that some big kids must have built yesterday.

She flies in the air and lands squarely on her tailbone.

She cries for 10 minutes so we get in the car and drive home where she continues to cry for another 15 minutes.

I call the nurse at the pediatrician’s office.

I say:

Hi. My daughter was sledding and she took the ice ramp and landed on her back and she is complaining that it hurts. She can walk and I can’t see anything but she has been crying for 25 minutes. Do I need to have her looked at?

The nurse says:

Spinal injuries are very serious! Take her to urgent care to have an x-ray!

I freak out.

I call my mother-in-law.

Sledding went poorly. I have to take Claudia to the emergency room to get x-rays! Spinal injury! Can you please help with Ian?

She says she’ll be right over.

I come to my senses.

I call the nurse back.

Hi. I just talked to you about my daughter and you said I need to get x-rays and that spinal injuries were serious but is there any way I can come into the office to have her seen?

Five minutes later I have an appointment in 25 minutes at the pediatrician’s office.

I call my mother-in-law and tell her I just have to take the boy with me because we don’t have much time but we will be fine.

Claudia is still whimpering and saying It hurts. It really hurts.

Ian starts crying because he doesn’t feel like going to the doctor’s office.

And I am starting to freak out again.

We somehow make it to the pediatrician with two or three minutes to spare.

Then we wait for 45 minutes.

  1. Minutes 1 – 5: Claudia cries the entire time.
  2. Minutes 6 – 15: Claudia whimpers.
  3. Minutes 16 – 20: Ian begins to go nuts on the baby toys in the waiting room. Claudia starts to wander around holding her back.
  4. Minutes 21 – 30: The kids play with the baby toys. Claudia holds her back on and off.
  5. Minutes 31 – 38: Both kids ask me: When is it our turn? When are they going to call us? Why did those other people get to go first? Is it our turn now? I’m thirsty can I have some water? Where is the drinking fountain? When is it going to be our turn?
  6. Minute 39: They finally call us back.
  7. Minutes 40 – 45: Both kids jump and dance around the examination room.
  8. Minute 45: The doctor comes in checks out her back. Says everything is fine.

We give them $20 and get in a big argument about if we should stop at McDonald’s or Wendy’s on the way home.

Sledding blows.