White Says I Have to Call this One “I Like Gold Butts and I Cannot Lie”
I was screwing around on Facebook on Friday afternoon when I saw a new status pop up. It's not how I imagined
Kicking the Can
I finally kicked. I am proud to say that I have gone eight days without eating a Pringle. I have no idea
My first 5K (before)
Remember in school when you were forced to run a mile in P.E.? That was always the worst day of the year for
You Heard the Man
It was one of those days where both kids were home with strep throat but the antibiotics had already begun to
1) Somebody put dirty clothes on top of the unmatched sock basket and put it in the laundry room and then the cats peed on it.
2) My socks keep falling down in my boots.
3) Leaves in my house.
4) My daughter’s American Girl doll keeps looking at me funny every time I go downstairs.
September 11, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
I was screwing around on Facebook on Friday afternoon when I saw a new status pop up.
It’s not how I imagined being in Rolling Stone…. but I’ll take it!!!!
I immediately clicked through. Rolling Stone! Plus Mike is one of my more interesting friends. He is a performer in Cirque du Soleil. I’m thinking that if he was surprised that this was how he finally ended up in Rolling Stone it was going to be good – and also weird. This was going to be awesome. I was not let down.
July 6, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
I finally kicked.
I am proud to say that I have gone eight days without eating a Pringle.
I have no idea how you just reacted to reading that sentence. You might be confused. You might think I am am idiot. If you follow me closely on Twitter you might be proud of me, having been updated on my escalating Pringles problem. If you are my daughter you are happy because it means I stopped eating the chips I said I was buying for you.
This is no joke. I was up to a can a day. I generally chose sour cream and onion, but any flavor would do.
July 3, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
I was just at Safeway and as I was walking in a guy smoking a cigarette outside asked me for a dollar for the bus.
He looked rough. He was skinny and twitchy. He was clearly in need of a fix but I have had a weird week and I decided to give him a dollar so I reached for my purse. Then he said “I could use three dollars.”
I froze and looked at him. I wasn’t scared. It was mid morning and there were a lot of other people walking by. I said “One dollar?”
He said “Or three dollars.”
I think I rolled my eyes, but I was still going to give him a dollar when he said “Some people give me twenty dollars.”
I put my wallet away. “Forget it.” I said to him and walked inside the store.
It seems jarring every time I remember that James Gandolfini is dead. I don’t know why.
I was at this neighborhood party a few weeks ago. There was live music and I sang a song. I sang because when somebody says “Do you want to sing the Go-Gos?” my answer will always be yes.
June 7, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
Ian took his first guitar lesson yesterday. You already know what song this is going to be, don’t you.
Leave your best guess in the comments and then come back and watch the video.
May 11, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
Remember in school when you were forced to run a mile in P.E.? That was always the worst day of the year for me.
When I was in 8th grade I remember thinking seriously about taking a hammer to my own toe to get out of running the mile. This is a true story.
I think that is particularly warped thinking even for a 14 year old girl.
Today I am getting ready to run my first 5K. The weather says we will probably get rain. Possibly thunder storms, but here I am with my running shoes on and everything.
Being a parent does strange things to people.
May 1, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
It was one of those days where both kids were home with strep throat but the antibiotics had already begun to kick in and everybody was feeling okayish but we couldn’t really go anywhere so instead the children and I were watching a BBC Best of Doctor Who Monsters show. It was in the style of a VH1 I Love the Whatever show where a bunch of C and D List celebrities sit around talk about the 80s or the 25 best slow jams of 1987 or what have you.
In this case we had Doctor Who monsters.
This was kind of a weird show because 1) very few of the celebrities were either British or anyone I had heard of and 2) they were only discussing the villains from season six which is nuts because this show has been on since 1963.
It was also odd that the only celebrities I was really familiar with were former NFL player, Hugh Douglas and Scott Ian from Anthrax.
April 30, 2013 By Goon Squad Sarah
Disclaimer: I normally charge a bunch of money for a sponsored post here on Sarah and the Goon Squad, but you know how sometimes you are working with a company on one thing and then they call you one night to say, “Hey, we had a cancellation on one of our Mazda3 reviews, do you want to test drive it for a week starting tomorrow?” and you are over at your neighbors house on your third beer singing Journey songs and so you are in a really good mood, and you are all like “Sure! I’d love to! I have to go, I think they are playing ‘Separate Ways’. Bye!” Yeah, well that happened. In the interest of full disclosure, I am working with Mazda, but this was just a free test drive that I agreed to tell you about. -SB
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If you read my introduction, you know that I was not a prepared as I normally am for a test drive when they dropped the Mazda3 at my house. I was excited because it was super cute!