…and this all happened this morning

Ian found a new way to wake me up this morning. He jabbed me in the nose with his thumb three times. This is only one of the down falls of bringing a teething toddler into your bed in the middle of the night. I’m surprised he didn’t give me a bloody nose. He has given Gabe and my Mom bloody noses in this fashion. When he got Gabe, we were in Babies R Us. Gabe ended up walking around the store with a bloody burp cloth. It looked like he stabbed a baby. Ian thought it was hilarious.

Then, I went to the back of the house to get some pants on and use the bathroom. I was temporarily distracted by my e-mail, but this all took less than five minutes. When I got back to the living room, the kids were playing nicely with their mega blocks, but there were wipes everywhere. The two of them had emptied an entire large box of wipes. I know it was both of them, because I smelled their little paws and both of their hands smelled like fresh springtime lavender, or whatever the hell it is.

Next, my Dad called. As he is telling me that my assignment is to teach Claudia to roar when we say “What does Grandpa say?” (this is all true, I swear it), I look over and Claudia is waving around a diaper. As I am wondering where she got the diaper, I notice she is naked from the waist down. Mystery solved. New mystery – how did she get it off in the first place? I am never buying Huggies again. The nice big tabs make these diapers way too easy for a 14 month old to get them off. The last thing in the world I need is two bare assed goons running around in here. Especially when you take in to consideration that Ian had six poopy diapers yesterday, and that is only slightly above average.

One more thing. Last night I began to read Misconceptions, by Naomi Wolf. My first misconception was this was a work of fiction. I’m just finished the forward, and it looks like it is a book about first time motherhood. It is scary already. I’ll let you know when I’m done, but so far, I would say not to read it if you are pregnant with your first child. There are three or four places in the introduction alone that would have made me cry when I was pregnant – not that it took much to bring me to tears then… or now, really.

All of this happened (or occurred to me in the case of the book) to me this morning. I am about to hit the publish button and it is only 8:34 am. I can’t wait to see what these guys do with the rest of their day.

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  1. You will MISS these moments one day!

  2. Claudia took off her diaper again during the nap when I was posting this.

  3. Wait til they take off their diaper when you THINK they’re still sleeping and play with poop as my little brother did.

  4. I see Ian is taking after Mikey with the bloody nose thing.

  5. Lori – My cousin’s son Max did that. He had it spread all over the walls and the windows before his mom caught him. She said, “Imagine what the neighbors must think if they were watching him thruogh the window!”

    Tiffer – what were the three words your Mom always hated? Boogers and Farts and something else. Poop? Puke? Remember we used to say it like Dorothy: Boogers and Farts and Poop, Oh My. You should write a post about those three things – whatever they are – just to gross her out :).

  6. My Mom hated the words boogers and snot for sure. I can’t remember the other one.

  7. Lori – my Mom knows twins that had a POOP FIGHT when they were in their cribs. Scary.

  8. Hey, I forgot to say Marcy used duct tape for nearly a year, wrapped around the waist of the diaper, to keep Max from removing his diaper as soon as she turned her back. Might be something you need to try with Claudia.

  9. Lemme know how the book ends up. I heard it was awful.

  10. I know people that had to keep pants on their kids to keep them from taking their diapers off. My crazy kids never played in their poop, but I have heard horror stories.

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