The Chuck E. Fiasco

I apologize right off the bat for not having any picturesof the kids. The Chuck E. Cheese party was way too chaotic for me to stop and pose The Squad. I did get a couple shots of the back of their heads, but I’m hoping Bridgette’s pictures come out better.

I would like to begin by saying that a lot of people go to Chuck E. Cheese on Thursday nights. I would also like to say that a lot of parents don’t pay any attention to what their very small children are doing. I know my kids are really big for their age and so I tend to think other kids are younger than they actually are, but, in my opinion a two year old should have supervision in a place like that.

Gabe said it was the fifth circle of hell. It’s where you go if you were an arsonist. This is the Room 101 for people that hate children.

So the party started at 6:00. The Goon Squad likes to go to bed between 6:00 and 6:30. I know it’s early, and believe me, we’ve been trying to get them to stay up until at least 7:00, but when a one year old says “night night” grabs their bear and pacifier and walks over to the gate to go to their room, who am I to argue?

When we got there, there were about 1 million other people in Chuck E. Cheese. I think The Goon Squad was a little freaked out. Ian was clinging to Gabe. He had his little legs locked around his Dad. Claudia looked cautious. We eventually sat down. Claudia kept signing to eat, so we were giving her teddy grahams and pretzels and water and everything.

They actually played in the toddler section for about 20 minutes. Maybe longer (this was my first experience with wanting to punch other people’s kids) and then we tried to get The Squad to go eat some pizza. That was when Claudia really started screaming.

As I was carrying her back to the table, so was yelling and thowing her head back and having a typical temper tantrum. We tried to get them in their booster seats. Becky had just gotten there with “The Kid”, needless to say, I barely got to talk to her. Gabe tried to hold Claudia off to the side while Ian ate some pizza. I looked over every couple of minutes and it always looked the same. Claudia screaming her head off and flailing around. The good part about Chuck E. Cheese is that the place is so freaking loud (like Smell the Glove mentioned) that I couldn’t even hear her screaming and they were less than 20 feet from me.

She was shrieking the whole way home (thankfully, not that far) and Gabe was saying “It’s okay Claudia. That is how I feel on the inside”.

We get home and we are changing their diapers and putting on pajamas when she starts signing that she wants to eat again. This is when Gabe and I remember that she gets hungry and tired confused and she signs eat when she wants to go to bed.

Just like she did when we first got to Chuck E. Cheese.

Gabe swears he will never set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese again. I wish that were true.

I’ll leave you with a picture of the birthday boy and his Mommy.

AFTERWARD: I just found out that Bridgette woke up to three puking kids. She thinks the rat palace poisoned them. Becky and I came out unscathed.

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  1. OMG! Water is squirting out of me everywhere!

  2. The last time I was a the Chuch I swore I would never, ever have a party for my kids there. Unless they begged me kicking and screaming and even then I’m not sure I’d do it. It is, without a doubt, hell. And don’t you just want to go KILL parents there? I mean, how do they let their kids just wander around?

  3. My kids are 6 & 4, we have never been there!

  4. Please take sarah’s report to heart and never go there, for the love all that is good in this world.

    Chuck E Cheese’s is pure chaos. In fact, if you want to define the word chaos for anyone take them there and they too will be scarred for life.

  5. Okay now my defense of choosing Chuck E Cheese’s is posted on my blog.
    And I DO think I was paid back by the gods for making you all go there.

  6. Weirdness! I’ve just been randomly surfing blogs through blog explosion and yours is the second one I’ve come across — both yours AND the one previous are about trips to Chuck E. Cheese’s!

    Yeesh — is this what I have to look forward to? (I’m the mother of a three-month old boy.) Say it ain’t so!

  7. i take it from her expression one major thing:

    “children’s hands…very tasty!!”

  8. Oh, my GOD Smell, that must be the funniest comment ever. By the way, it typically takes 48 hours or so for food poisoning to manifest itself in physical symptoms, so those kids probably were not poisoned at the rat palace.

  9. I’m actually thinking virus.
    No one else at the party got sick at all, and mine started barfing almost when we got home, so it was probably something they already had.
    Maybe everyone else will start getting sick within 24-48 hours!
    Sort of like thank you gift from us to you!
    (let’s hope not….I wish last night on no man – or Mom)

  10. Bridgette,

    I don’t blame you at all. It is what it is.

    As long as Louis had fun.

  11. Diaper Dame: For God’s sake! Don’t ever, EVER go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. I’ve had similar experiences with these places. If my son ever asks me to go back, I’ll just buy him a car and give him the keys.

    “Son, I couldn’t bear to spend one minute inside this hell hole. So here–take the car!”

    “But Dad! I’m only eleven years old!”

    “Watch out for cops!”

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