I know I asked everybody to stop talking about snakes, but…
My Mom and I were taking The Squad out today and when we walked out the front door there were two snakes in the bushes. One on either side when you walk up to our door.
I knew the one on the left was there. I saw him on top of the bushes (this is where they hang out and sun themselves, and eat turkeys, or whatever the hell they do) when my Mom got here this morning.
Anyway, I’m trying to play it cool. I was really going to walk out right between them and go to the van like a grown up. But the one on the right was facing me. Ick. It was looking at me. I just pictured it springing out if the bushes at me and Claudia. It was already about waist high.
I had to leave through the garage. I know I’m weak and my Mom says I’ll make The Goon Squad scared of snakes the way my Dad made me scared of them, but I just couldn’t walk out between two of them. It was too much.
I did figure out what they are eating. Gabe and I were playing darts last night and I saw a mouse/rat in my backyard. Everyone says that it is better to have a snake than whatever they are eating, but that mouse/rat didn’t look very scary to me. The snakes were scary as hell.