The Post Where I Admit I am an Idiot (Part 2)

Today I went back to the eye doctor so that he could check out my vision with my new hard contact lenses. I haven’t been wearing them a lot because it is difficult to make the adjustment from soft contacts to hard ones. I’ve been spending at least half of my time wearing my old ones (I’m on my sixth week in this particular pair of two-week lenses) including this morning.

Gabe had to come home from work early so that he could stay home with the kids when I went to the eye doctor. So at about 4:00 I put in my new contacts while fending off The Goon Squad.

When the doctor was checking my eyes he mentioned that he saw two pairs of lenses in there.

That’s right. You heard me. I put my hard contacts in my eyes right on top of my old lenses like a moron. I have no idea how I could even drive to the doctor’s office. Apparently I am not the only person who has done this because my doctor said they called that “piggybacking”. Then he probably went into the back office and laughed his ass off. I seriously thought he was joking at first, but nope. I’m a total doofus.

(editors note: This has absolutely no tie in to The Post Where I Admit I am an Idiot Part 1 except for the fact that I am once again admitting I’m an ignoramus. By the way, I have gotten that Bloglines thing all worked out.)

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  1. I am laughing my ass off. That is too funny. Didn’t they hurt?

  2. Holy jesus. Seriously, how could you even see? And wasn’t there pain? Blinking couldn’t have felt all that good. Man. Thanks for sharing. It makes me feel like less of an idiot from when I put my right contact in my left eye and vise versa and was convinced my vision was rapidly deteriorating (I have two different prescriptions) and ran into my doctor’s office convinced I was going blind. But I wasn’t. Just switched ’em back and good as new. But YOUR story is WAY worse than mine. So thanks for that.

  3. LMAO. I am thinking about getting contacts. I hope NOT to duplicate this accomplishment of yours.

  4. Thanks for making my day! Next time I do something idiotic…. in appproximately 2.3 minutes, I will think of you and smile.

  5. I knew someone who put TWO tampons in some how at one point.
    I think you just topped that one.

  6. Ok Gidge…I can top that. I know someone who put in two tampons, and took out the second…forgetting the first was there. It was surgically removed months later after several doctor trips for a smell.

    Swear to God.

    I also think that girl still works at an ice cream store back home.

    I also feel like I just played “what’s grosser than gross” from like, 8th grade.

  7. That story is very telling of how crazy it must be trying to get ready with two young ones underfoot.

  8. It’s better than wearing two pairs of eyeglasses. Doc’s have a term for that; it’s called moron.

    Lots of people accidently put in two sets of contact lenses.

  9. thanks for the morning laugh :)

  10. So, did you see twice as well?
    (ba dum bump.)

    As for two tampons? I have a friend who is a gay-man gyno. It happens more often than you think d yes, it smells like death becaue that thing is decomposing inside of you. He told us this story over dinner (because he is that kind if gay-man gyno) and we all nearly vomited.

  11. AHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa. Great. I’m SO glad I’m not the only one. I have a long, long, long list myself. Whew. I’m so glad I’m not the only one.

    Oh, and thanks for writing in today by the way. Yeah, I can’t throw any of those toys away, she’s got a mental inventory. I’m doomed.

  12. I’m eating lunch, which is a bit of a trick now anyway, thinking, “hey, I can read Sarah while I eat, because she’s food-friendly.”

    Then I read these comments.

    So much for that theory.

    Ick.

    (Come to think of it, there was that bloody Halloween photo. Hmm. Maybe I need to rethink that.)

  13. I was working at a hospital where one of the residents saw a prostitute in the ER for “pelvic pain”. Turned out one of her customers had left her (well technically he had inserted) a $50.00 tip. The doc was able to remove the money, the prostitute told him she was so happy to have “that nasty thing out” she told the resident to “keep the money!” The attending physician strolled in to the exam room, the resident told him what had transpired. The attending went and saw the fifty dollar bill sitting on the counter. He took a pair of tongs, washed the fifty in betadine and asked “Okay, who wants to order Chinese?”

    I cannot tell you how happy I was, for obvious reasons, that the 50 dollar bill was redesigned!

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