Oops

Ian: Wawa pets. Wawa pets.

Me: Wonder Pets! Again?

Ian: Wawa Pets!

Me: Seriously? The Wonder Pets? Again? Are you high?

Ian: High.

Crap. Why do I say things like that?

In my defense, we had already watched the stupid “Womder Pets!” three or four times today. He’s sick and so we can’t go anywhere, and I’ve been spoiling him by letting him watch whatever he wanted. Sometimes TiVo is a curse.*

In conclusion, in retrospect I think that asking a two year old if he was high was inappropriate. I can just see this being one of those phrases that sticks. Can’t you just see us at playgroup? “NO! MY ELMO! YOU HIGH?”

* Not really. I take it all back. I love TiVo deeply.

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  1. I’m pretty sure it actually went like this:

    You: Seriously? The Wonder Pets? Again? Are you high?
    Ian: Hi!

    But when he starts saying “Bong? Bong!” you’re on your own.

  2. The Count STILL says “Smell da love!” whenever he farts. Sometimes, if he lets a couple go in a row he says “Smelldalovesmelldalovesmelldalove”. I kinda sorta regret teaching him that now. Ok, not really NOW but I will when he does it in front of my parents.

  3. He DID do it in front of your parents. First they were confused. Then your Dad was astonished. And then, mortified.

    And you keep worrying about my swearing. When, I’d like to point out, it’s your “smell the love” that gets said MORE than please or thank you.

  4. Laughing. HARD.

    REAL HARD.

  5. Just where exactly does one go to get high? Do I need to join a Mommy & Me group? Because I will do it if I have to. They don’t scare me.

  6. Mocha, you’re not fooling us. We know you work with kids. Those darn kids and their funny smokes.

  7. Okay— multiple comments for multiple postings:

    1) I have also asked my son this. I have also muttered, “And THIS is why Mommy drinks.” Just once. Under my breath.

    2) It’s scary how similar our taste in music is.

    3) Yay Prozac!!! woohoo!!!! Good stuff. And nice of my OB to ask if I would go ‘talk to someone.” Hello??? Come watch my (then) newborn twins??? Plus, even if I DID talk to someone, what would they say??? “If I were you, I’d be overwhelmed and hormonal, too??” Please. Get real.

  8. Wonderpets! I truly think there is some sort of subliminal message going on there, although I do like the show, every child I know (and that is a few!) is completely addicted to this show. Maybe he is on a wonderpets high…

  9. Either for camaraderie’s or torment’s sake…sometimes my sister calls me on the phone and sings the theme song to the Wonder Pets. Or the “Animal in Twouble” song. She’ll even leave it on my answering machine. I know it’s really a cry for help. An indicator to who is In Control In the House, and it’s not the Big People.

    Your banner snagged my attention as I wandered by and this story? Oh yeah, very relateable. LMAO.

    Can’t wait to read more.

    P.S. High? Oh he got it. Oh yes he did. And never you worry, he’ll repeat to someone in authority. After the fear and pain have passed, I’ll someday blog about the time my daughter’s pre-school teacher asked me about some “smoking crack” comment. Note to self: clean up language and sarcasm, kids aren’t dim bulbs.

  10. Scott taught Louis to say “Baby needs a new pair of shoes” every time he rolls dice.
    Makes playing board games with him frightening for others.
    He sounds like he’s being shooting craps with Ashy Larry…

  11. Wonder Pets. Ugh. Cordy likes it, but she’s not obsessed. Of course, we watch Oobi on Noggin all the time, which can’t be much better.

    Why is it that ducks always have a speech problem? The Wonder Pets duck, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, etc.

    And yeah, it’ll probably come back to bite you. Cordy’s starting to mimic what we say, so it’s only a matter of time before daddy starts teaching her funny things to say.

  12. I have a friend who has proudly taught her daughter to answer the question “What does Whitney say?” with a loud-and-proud, “CRACK IS WHACK!”

  13. Little guy loves the Wonder Pets, too. I have seen exactly one episode (when they are all pirates) and liked it a lot — mainly because every other word was aargh.

  14. Michelle says:

    Oh.My.Gaw! Too darn funny. I also mutter, under my breath, but within ear-shot of my 2 parrots: “You are driving Mommy to drink” or something to that effect and my toddler, who walks around like he is drunk all the time, can say “drunk”. Lovely. At least his speech therapist thinks so! My husband and I also make comments like “what crack are you smoking?”. Maybe we should put a halt to that! My daughter will tell her puzzle, or other toy that is frustrating her ” you are PISSING me off!” She is 3. She also has been heard saying dammit. At least she uses them in the correct context and not just running around the house repeating them. How do you reply to that?

    My mom once told the daycare, when I was 4 and they called her to tell her I said “shit” because I couldn’t get the bathroom door open, that it sounded like a completely appropriate response to her and to call her when I called someone stupid or ugly, because those were the bad words in her house. I tend to agree, however, I want my children to be able to go out in society without being pariahs. So, maybe I’ll teach them sometimes it it ok to say those words but these are the times and places where it is NOT appropriate. Like at the Christmas dinner table in front of Great-Grandma! Or in the middle of communion.

    I am doomed!

  15. I am unfamiliar with Wonder Pets. I think I would like to keep it that way.

    I do, however, have a four-year-old who says “DAMMIT!” any time he lands on the chute when we play Chutes and Ladders. His grandparents LOVE that.

  16. That phase – the whole understanding and repeating thing – scares the crap out of me. I really need to start watchign what I say.

  17. Heh heh. That’s like the other day when I said to Quinn at the end of a tirade about the toys all over the place, thinking he wasn’t listening to me anymore, “This place looks like crap!” After not responding to anything else AT ALL that I’d just said, he replied, “Crap?”

    Woops.

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