Hey Oprah, Get Up Off ‘Em

I think Oprah is stalking me.

First I start reading The Road and a week later Oprah makes it her book club suggestion, then the other day I mention Eat, Pray, Love and now this.

She is in my head!

scary oprah winfrey

Quick. Is she behind me right now? Is that her in the unmarked car across the street trying to peek at my book shelves?

Fine. I realize that these are not the most obscure novels written in English and that they were both most likely top 10 bestsellers already when Oprah recommended them. But I will tell you this right now – if this book is next you will know for sure that she is copying me. I feel fairly certain that only me, my friend Mike (who let me borrow the book) and Tom G. Warrior’s mom are the only three people that read this one.

Oh yeah, “and get up off ’em” is a term I picked up off of Gabe a million years ago. I think it originated with ‘riding ones jock’. You know, getting off of one’s balls. Then again, it could mean something totally different. I’ve been accused of being a moron before.

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  1. She’s in all of our heads. That’s where her power comes from…

  2. Frankly, I think she’s all over Obama ’cause you threw your wide support behind him.

  3. Further evidence that she’s set out for world domination.

  4. I’m in that black car. Shhh.

  5. I just wrote about this the other day! Can you believe her power?!?

  6. Eat, Pray, Love is on my list next–I bought it on your recommendation. I’ll letcha know what I think!

  7. Imperial. Death. March.

  8. I’m dying at the fact that you wrote “jock” “balls” and “Oprah” in the same post. It’s just funny, that. :)

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