Sarah and the Goon Squad
That's right. You heard me.
“Do NOT hit the microwave with that baseball bat”.
Seriously, nobody should ever have to say that again.
Can I hit the refrigerator with a baseball bat?
OH my friend you are a mother of a BOY! you will be saying that and much more for the next ummmm ok for the rest of his life.
“Steve why is your sister all wet?” “cause I thought she could use a shower” She showered this morning! “Yes mom she did, however she didn’t do it with the spray nozzel in the kitchen sink” (age 20)
“Boys why is there glass on my kitchen table?” Well mom it is like this. We were playing baseball in the house and broke 3 of your 4 glass globes on the fan” don’t worry we replaced them.” to this day they still don’t match! ( age 16)
Steve is your home work done his teacher said? ” no mama!Why may I ask? You may! “It has something to do with a turtle and a lama” ( age 14)
Why do I smell burning plastic? “because i melted my army men on the wood stove” Why to hell would you do that? Because you can’t have a war without Causalities” (age 5)
I’m cracking up at yours and at NHDoll’s!
Mine from last week was “It’s not my fault you are trying to brush your teeth while wearing mittens, sweetie”.
I love being a Mom.
in our house it was dont swing the bat, and then when there was a chip in the fishtank, the bear did it.
Here’s a few from Chez Renner:
“Please leave the neighbor’s balls alone. You can play with your own when we get home!”
“Yes, that man over there does have a penis.” and, “No, yours is probably smaller, but I don’t really know.” and “No, I don’t agree we need to ask him.”
“Idiot Ass is redundant.Don’t they teach you anything in the lunch room?”
He’s obviously trying to tell you that he’s tired of rubbery re-heated chicken and bland micro-steamed veggies.
Too funny. Reminds me when I had to tell my (older dumbass) brother to take my dog out of the microwave and for the love of all things holy not to press start.
For a second, I thought he might.
Could have been worse, could have been “Do NOT hit your brother with that baseb– uhoh.”
*Edited* The boys informed me last night that it wasn’t baseball!! It was DUCT TAPE SWORDS! What to hell was I thinking… LOL insert eye rolling here!
Should I take your twitter comment about puking to signify something?
OK!! I really needed to update yet another comment from my “adult” children! My 18 year old daughter is bugging her 20 year old brother to go to “walmart” so he said he wasn’t going and she said he was. Well he said he would kick her ass and she said ” I am pretty sure you are on the pooper” with your pants around your knees. I will TAKE YOU!
I can’t imagine what the children are doing with a baseball bat by the microwave….but it’s funny all the same!
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I live in the Washington DC Metro Area with my husband, six year old boy/girl twins (aka The Goon Squad) and two loud cats. Read More…
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