Right Off!

I was just in the kitchen getting dinner started (No really, I was cooking. Ahead of time and everything. Shut up. It could happen.) and the kids were screwing around in the kitchen trying to get in my way playing nicely as I was chopping vegetables.

Ian (who is mainly concerned with safety near hot stoves) was pretending to surf on his Diego coloring book.

“Wipe Down!”

“You mean wipe out.” I said.

“Wipe Down!”

“Wipe out? Like when you surf?”

He rolled his eyes at me.

My three year old boy rolled his eyes at me and in his most condescending voice said “Wipe down. Like when you fall down into the ocean”.

To which I said “Look Lane, you are really bringing me over.”

better off dead 2 Right Off!

If it weren’t for this blog all of my best material would be wasted on people who don’t appreciate how hilarious I think I am.

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  1. :-)
    You are so right.. :-)

  2. And, if it weren’t for this blog, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate you thinking you’re hilarious for people who appreciate how hilarious you think you are…I think.

  3. Gotta love Better Off Dead quotes, whoo-hoo!

    “And dying when you’re not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!”

  4. Oh yeah, and the kids sassing you thing, ain’t gonna end anytime soon…

  5. And if it weren’t for this blog, I’d just be laying around having a great big pity party for myself. Instead of giggling and taking my mind off my bodily discomfort.

  6. Better Off Dead is one of the best bad movies ever.

  7. LOL! Thanks for making me laugh! :)

  8. Mr. Know-it-all.

  9. Better Off Dead is the absolute best movie to quote from,as John puts out the garbage I usually yet out the window, “It’s a real shame when people starting throwing away a perfectly good white boy”. Whatever, it makes me laugh.

  10. down load the song wipe out and see how long that lasts. it would be worth the 99 cents. (and keep you from saying i told u so)

  11. Forgive me, for I know not who this Lane person is. I’m going to have to get that movie just so I get what you’re talking about. How sad am I?

  12. (gasp) “two dollars”

  13. In the future when anyone asks me why I blog, I’m using your “If it weren’t for this blog all of my best material would be wasted on people who don

  14. OMG that is SO funny! Thanks for the Better Off Dead flashback. :-)

  15. We quote films all the time at Chez Renner.

    It is tradition prior to any road trip, the kids and I chorus, “It’s 106 miles to Chicago,we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.”

  16. hey, i quoted shakespeare to a four-year-old today. right over his head.

  17. Oh, man. LOVE Better Off Dead. I’m sorry I blew up your mother, Ricky.

  18. Also, the title of this post is perfect.

  19. Do you have any idea what the street value of this blog is?

  20. “You know? FRIEEENNDS!”

  21. I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy.

    Also amusing is “One Crazy Summer,” the other John Cusack/Savage Steve Holland venture.

  22. And now, I feel old, since I knew exactly what that quote was from!
    Great blog!

  23. I had totally forgotten about “Better Off Dead”, what a classic movie!

  24. You ARE hilarious!

    has he started saying “whatever” to you yet? that’s always been my favorite.

  25. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    That is pretty awesome.

  26. Gad, I was just talking about John Cusack to a co-worker and saying how it’s weird to see him in movies where he plays an actual grown-up (he’s a dad in his latest one). Then I have to remember that he’s really my age.

  27. “If it weren

  28. I think you’re dreamy.

  29. Oh my, great line from a terrific movie!

    I want my two dollars!

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