Right Off!

I was just in the kitchen getting dinner started (No really, I was cooking. Ahead of time and everything. Shut up. It could happen.) and the kids were screwing around in the kitchen trying to get in my way playing nicely as I was chopping vegetables.

Ian (who is mainly concerned with safety near hot stoves) was pretending to surf on his Diego coloring book.

“Wipe Down!”

“You mean wipe out.” I said.

“Wipe Down!”

“Wipe out? Like when you surf?”

He rolled his eyes at me.

My three year old boy rolled his eyes at me and in his most condescending voice said “Wipe down. Like when you fall down into the ocean”.

To which I said “Look Lane, you are really bringing me over.”

better off dead 2 Right Off!

If it weren’t for this blog all of my best material would be wasted on people who don’t appreciate how hilarious I think I am.

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  1. mp says:

    :-)
    You are so right.. :-)

  2. Momo Fali says:

    And, if it weren’t for this blog, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate you thinking you’re hilarious for people who appreciate how hilarious you think you are…I think.

  3. Kemp says:

    Gotta love Better Off Dead quotes, whoo-hoo!

    “And dying when you’re not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!”

  4. Kemp says:

    Oh yeah, and the kids sassing you thing, ain’t gonna end anytime soon…

  5. And if it weren’t for this blog, I’d just be laying around having a great big pity party for myself. Instead of giggling and taking my mind off my bodily discomfort.

  6. Lori says:

    Better Off Dead is one of the best bad movies ever.

  7. Karen says:

    LOL! Thanks for making me laugh! :)

  8. Jason says:

    Mr. Know-it-all.

  9. Melina says:

    Better Off Dead is the absolute best movie to quote from,as John puts out the garbage I usually yet out the window, “It’s a real shame when people starting throwing away a perfectly good white boy”. Whatever, it makes me laugh.

  10. jill says:

    down load the song wipe out and see how long that lasts. it would be worth the 99 cents. (and keep you from saying i told u so)

  11. Dana says:

    Forgive me, for I know not who this Lane person is. I’m going to have to get that movie just so I get what you’re talking about. How sad am I?

  12. (gasp) “two dollars”

  13. Chag says:

    In the future when anyone asks me why I blog, I’m using your “If it weren’t for this blog all of my best material would be wasted on people who don

  14. Kevin says:

    OMG that is SO funny! Thanks for the Better Off Dead flashback. :-)

  15. Devra says:

    We quote films all the time at Chez Renner.

    It is tradition prior to any road trip, the kids and I chorus, “It’s 106 miles to Chicago,we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.”

  16. Lara says:

    hey, i quoted shakespeare to a four-year-old today. right over his head.

  17. Karl says:

    Oh, man. LOVE Better Off Dead. I’m sorry I blew up your mother, Ricky.

  18. alison says:

    Also, the title of this post is perfect.

  19. roger says:

    Do you have any idea what the street value of this blog is?

  20. ckirby50 says:

    “You know? FRIEEENNDS!”

  21. Cobwebs says:

    I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy.

    Also amusing is “One Crazy Summer,” the other John Cusack/Savage Steve Holland venture.

  22. And now, I feel old, since I knew exactly what that quote was from!
    Great blog!

  23. Russ says:

    I had totally forgotten about “Better Off Dead”, what a classic movie!

  24. Dianne says:

    You ARE hilarious!

    has he started saying “whatever” to you yet? that’s always been my favorite.

  25. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    That is pretty awesome.

  26. Lisse says:

    Gad, I was just talking about John Cusack to a co-worker and saying how it’s weird to see him in movies where he plays an actual grown-up (he’s a dad in his latest one). Then I have to remember that he’s really my age.

  27. M.A. Smith says:

    “If it weren

  28. I think you’re dreamy.

  29. Jerseygirl89 says:

    Oh my, great line from a terrific movie!

    I want my two dollars!

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